Are you honest about your vacations? (degree, how much, hours, security)
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Whenever I take a trip somewhere, other people in the office always want to know where I'm going. I always tell them that I'm "going on a road trip out West." When pressed, I tell them that I am visiting New Mexico, Arizona, and Colorado.
In reality, I normally visit Asian and European countries. I budget for a 2-week trip overseas every year, and I stay in cheap hotels so it is doable. I just don't want the jealous feelings, the "that must be nice" comments, so I have a stock reply for my vacation destinations.
AFAIK, they're just making conversation. If there really is a sense of envy, then I could see why you'd "deflect that". In some places, the differences in salary is quite pronounced that one intern or new employee can't afford more than supermarket Ramen noodles, while another higher up is talking about replacing the only 6 year old luxury car.
That sounds really odd. I mean that you would go to such lengths to lie to your coworkers about something so basic. It must be a pretty unpleasant working environment if people feel they can't share even simple information without being criticized and judged.
I've known some folks who do lie because it gets personal. Never mind scenarios like the one in the paragraph below, but some folks may have embarrassing family situations (... bitter divorce I guess?) or medical situations (... I dunno... getting an abortion? Penis surgery?) that really shouldn't be anybody else's business.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CGab
I had a super religious boss once and thought it was a sin to drink, gamble, etc. So when me and the hubby were going to Vegas I told my boss I was going to visit family in Nevada. He probably would have fired otherwise!
I'm going to that convention where people dress up as animals! IIRC, they even have sex with each other!?
Whenever I take a trip somewhere, other people in the office always want to know where I'm going. I always tell them that I'm "going on a road trip out West." When pressed, I tell them that I am visiting New Mexico, Arizona, and Colorado.
In reality, I normally visit Asian and European countries. I budget for a 2-week trip overseas every year, and I stay in cheap hotels so it is doable. I just don't want the jealous feelings, the "that must be nice" comments, so I have a stock reply for my vacation destinations.
How interesting that there are always people at work who want to "Press" you to find out your business. I am with you, I was always very closed mouthed about my vacations. I would give vague answers, like "staycation" or "I'm not sure yet" or "beach" when pressed.
This is the difference between co workers and friends, i dont like sharing personal stuff with people, turn around and your name is in a conversation, probably bashing you.
People have opinions, assumptions, depending where you go and with who. I went to thailand, im associated with something sleazy, vegas the same. Forbid i go to cuba, i am pro communist for spending money, go to jamaica and i puff ganja, and so on,.... the less you share, the better!
It is like asking what I spend my money on, or some other personal crap. Why you have no kids? Only one? None of your business. But chatter boxing is still well and alive at work.
That sounds really odd. I mean that you would go to such lengths to lie to your coworkers about something so basic. It must be a pretty unpleasant working environment if people feel they can't share even simple information without being criticized and judged.
It's normal in some areas. I have an older Mercedes Roaster that's a lot of fun to tool around in and in great shape. My mom had a convertible when she was young and used to talk about it with that distant longing. As my Dad passed, I thought it might be something fun for her to roam around in once in awhile. She's not rich by any means and the car has definitely attracted glances and comments while I've been home. For an old lady that likes to pay people in cookies, there was some valid concern that this would get her the wrong kind of attention. She wants me to get rid of it.
Some towns still have a don't make your neighbor envious feel to them. It's a good thing, albeit constraining for the tops there.
I never share any personal information in the office ever. I hear people talk about what surgeries they're having or what medications they're on, or personal family events, or what they're doing for the weekend... I never share any of that information nor should anyone in the workplace. Very rarely will you find employees that will serve as anything more than coworkers and/or backstabbers. Hopefully not the latter but it is always a possibility and there is no legitimate reason to invest emotionally in them. That being said, I never share personal information as it is foolish and leads to nothing more than gossip. Not saying anything leads to gossip as well but better to be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.
You must be a blast as a co-worker. Sounds like you have some issues at work. No one said you have to give up personal secrets, but why can't you cordial?
Oh, I don't know...plenty of things that are no ones business.
You need to fit into the environment and if you come across as a brag about your vacations, your new car, etc., it is not going to go well for you. People that don't understand that don't understand how the work place works. It is human nature for people to not feel you are rubbing their noses in your shallow and superficial accomplishments. "Look at me everyone, I charged to the limit on my credit card an expense trip so I can watch TV in different time zones, just to impress all of you that I'm so much better. Gee, I'm a world traveler!".
Then people come and post don't understand why they were part of the layoff when they do better work than other employees. These are the things we can't see how you behave at work. No manners and no class.
Stop to think, many people are a paycheck away from being out on the street and they don't want to hear about you blowing money on some trip. Don't expect them to put together a parade when you return like you are some kind of hero that conquered connecting flights.
No one said a person has to brag about vacations, cars, houses, etc. Plenty of people talk about their vacations without being boisterous.
Not to mention that, if anyone ever found out the truth, you would lose all credibility at work. If I found out someone was lying about something so innocuous; I wouldn't believe anything they say.
And, who cares if someone says, "oh, it must be nice"? Just simple respond, "well, yes, it is."
Exactly, and if something were to come up and they needed you to shorten your vacation. They're going to be more inclined to request that if they you're in the states vs. out of the country.
Now it is going to make you look odd when you have to say "I'm in China, not Denver". Now they're going to wonder about that and why you lied.
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Originally Posted by charlygal
Your relationship with your coworkers is way too complicated. You are engaging in unnecessary games.
Certainly is. I think someone also has an overly inflated ego.
I doubt most people would be jealous, and if the OP is single it's logical to think they have more disposable income than the guy who is married with three kids and whose wife is a SAHM, who has to take "staycations" and has about the same salary.
Whenever I take a trip somewhere, other people in the office always want to know where I'm going. I always tell them that I'm "going on a road trip out West." When pressed, I tell them that I am visiting New Mexico, Arizona, and Colorado.
In reality, I normally visit Asian and European countries. I budget for a 2-week trip overseas every year, and I stay in cheap hotels so it is doable. I just don't want the jealous feelings, the "that must be nice" comments, so I have a stock reply for my vacation destinations.
I'm retired now, but when I worked, everyone knew where I went. Jealous feelings, that's their problem, not yours
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I am with you, I was always very closed mouthed about my vacations. I would give vague answers, like "staycation" or "I'm not sure yet" or "beach" when pressed.
