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My boss told me that a coworker in my department threatened to quit, and that one of her reasons was that I ask her to do my job for me. That isn't true. I have no idea what she actually said to my boss, that is what was repeated to me. My boss told me not to speak to this coworker, but it's really awkward, not only because it's a small building and a small staff, but because she still speaks to me as though nothing ever happened.
I asked my boss if he would meet with my coworker and myself and try to solve whatever our differences are. I didn't realize before then that she had a problem with me at all. He said no, we could not have a meeting to work through the problem. Feeling increasingly uncomfortable with the situation, I decided to ask my boss' supervisor if I would be able to meet with her and the coworker to work out whatever the problem is. She also declined such a meeting and reiterated that I shouldn't speak to this coworker.
It's pretty weird, since the coworker still just talks to me like nothing has changed, but I have been told to steer clear of her completely. In my dealings with her, I'm trying to just be polite and neutral, so as not to cause more problems.
How would you handle such a situation?
Your boss sounds like a gossip. I would ignore all gossip.
Your co worker may have actually complimented you. And your boss is a real control freak, not credible if she actually told you not to talk to this co-worker. Probably because she is lying and is afraid you'll find out about her deceit if you speak directly with your co-worker.
You have a snake in the grass for a boss. Sorry this happened
Meet with your co-worker on your own time. Show up at her house or meet in the parking lot when no one's looking.
Let her know what transpired so she can be on the alert
if she gets the same BS told to her her about you. You don't want the situation to reverse itself.
This is clearly a lie, not too difficult to see it. Alert your co-woker that you fear your boss will
spread the same lie about you to her. Then you both go have a drink or go out to coffee Good luck
I would recommend that you just ignore the employee unless the employee comes to you and says something, then respond in an extra nice and professional manner...and when you get to your desk, keep a log of exactly what happened, that she approached you, her words, your response. You only know PART of the issue, and may never know it all.
For example, when I was a supervisor, one of my employees, a single man, dated a clerk in the administrative branch (another branch from mine). She had a young kid and spent many a night at his house. They lunched together daily.
She decided to go back with the baby's dad, and broke it off with my employee. He asked her to go out to lunch, like they did many times before. BUT this time she said no and called EEO. She told them she was being sexually harassed by this man and wanted no contact with him.
My directions from EEO was to tell my employee he could not talk to her, go into the administrative branch's section. He could only go to their supervisor who would help him with anything from that branch. At office meetings he could not sit by her. He could not call her at work or off work. He was to stay away from her at all times.
He thought it was an over-reaction, he called her at home, and she filed a complaint the next day. We had arbitration, hearings, investigations, etc....the whole process, and I kept telling him the same thing. In the mean time, unknown to me her baby daddy went back to jail, she called him (my employee) at work from her desk to his, she sat by him at meetings if she could and I had to move my employee in front of everyone, she took her kid to his house for weekends, she left him hand written and dated love notes after the weekends on his desk.
She was going ahead with the EEO complaint. The investigator did not believe that she was enjoying the company of my employee, as he kept saying with out details because 'he was a gentlemen". The investigator believed her tearful face.
In the midst of this mess, my employee passed away. As I cleaned out his desk, I found the notes she had left on his desk, in her writing, describing the weekend events and telling him what a wonderful person he was and how much she loved him...and described how she felt towards each touch, etc. Way past PG-13.
Even after my employee passed away, her suit continued because it is against the agency not the person. I did present her notes at the last hearing though She was embarrassed as I read them out loud, on the record.
So this is some super valuable rock star employee and you are not??
I'm sorry but unless you are in the bottom 10% and need that paycheck desperately, I'd tell your boss to come clear what's going on because otherwise this is an unsustainable situation.
"Just in case", I would polish my resume up. I have had a lot of jobs, different types with all kinds of people, and I have never came across anything this odd, and it is odd.
I don't see a bright future here for you OP, and the way they address a perceived issue really isn't anything one wants to deal with in the long term.
Thanks for all the thoughtful responses. lae60, what a story! Sorry to read that the employee who was being accused passed away. I know he might've already been ill, but I'm sure the stress of the situation wasn't good for his health, either.
I am looking for employment elsewhere. Just trying to survive where I am in the meantime, since I don't want to quit until I definitely have something else lined up. Thanks for all of your perspectives, everyone.
Thanks for all the thoughtful responses. lae60, what a story! Sorry to read that the employee who was being accused passed away. I know he might've already been ill, but I'm sure the stress of the situation wasn't good for his health, either.
I am looking for employment elsewhere. Just trying to survive where I am in the meantime, since I don't want to quit until I definitely have something else lined up. Thanks for all of your perspectives, everyone.
He had been in the Peace Corps in Africa. HE went back there every year or two. Had lots of friends there from the village he had lived in for a few years. He had developed ponds for fish when in the Peace Corp and he went back to see how it was doing and help expand and fix it as well. Later he helped the community set up a bread bakery on his own.
He really was a decent guy.
He came back from Africa, where he went for a month vacation to get away from the work situation, with malaria. He knew he had it as he had it many times before and told the hospital when he checked in. They did not catch that he had 3 strains and only medicated for one. Small rural hospital, did not know better. By the time they knew something was wrong it was too late--temp of 107. They helicopter transferred him to the international hospital and that dr figured it out right away, but it was too late. His brain was fried and he passed away after a few days.
Hi all. I had my annual evaluation, which was good. But, my boss said, "I don't know if you've talked to Monica?" Monica is the coworker I have been told by two people above me NOT to talk to. Of course I said "no." My boss went on to say that we "never got a resolution" for the problem and apologized about all of it and said "I know the situation sucks," but that he was just so shocked when she said she was going to quit. I didn't see a point in reiterating that I had requested a chance to resolve things with this coworker but my boss had shot that down. He then added, "I guess some personalities just can't work together."
The situation has worsened since she asked me a few weeks ago if I enjoyed a trip I went on. Tired of her trying to suck me into talking to her when I know I'm not supposed to, I said, "It was good, thanks," and got up and walked away from her so she couldn't keep talking to me. Ever since I did that, she has been staring at me angrily whenever we're at work together.
Just venting, I guess, because there seems to be no good answer to this. Like I said before, I am looking for other jobs.
Your boss sounds like a gossip. I would ignore all gossip.
Your co worker may have actually complimented you. And your boss is a real control freak, not credible if she actually told you not to talk to this co-worker. Probably because she is lying and is afraid you'll find out about her deceit if you speak directly with your co-worker.
You have a snake in the grass for a boss. Sorry this happened
Meet with your co-worker on your own time. Show up at her house or meet in the parking lot when no one's looking.
Let her know what transpired so she can be on the alert
if she gets the same BS told to her her about you. You don't want the situation to reverse itself.
This is clearly a lie, not too difficult to see it. Alert your co-woker that you fear your boss will
spread the same lie about you to her. Then you both go have a drink or go out to coffee Good luck
Also I'd look for another job
.
DANGER!!! DANGER!!! You don't know what was said to whom. It could be that your employee has stated you are harassing her. The reasonable thing for your manager to advise you is to stay away from her.
Showing up at her house, or going out of your way to arrange to meet her in the parking lot just adds fuel to the fire. Gives boss more ammo to get rid of you.
From a management perspective, this problem consumes bandwidth. E.g., YOU have become the problem. So, time to become a robot and follow directions literally. Don't talk to her.
If you "indirectly" supervise her, assign somebody you trust to convey your work directions.
You are in an asinine workplace. If you have the qualifications and a good reputation, get the h*ll out of there. You've been set up.
I would recommend that you just ignore the employee ... and when you get to your desk, keep a log of exactly what happened, that she approached you, her words, your response. You only know PART of the issue, and may never know it all.
Yep. Keep a log.
This employee either has real psychological issues or she's plotting & OPs the intended fall guy.
Your superiors OP, clearly have no idea how to handle personnel issues.
I'm not one to play the 'pretend' game & would've said, making sure that there was a witness, 'I'm really sorry. I've been instructed not to talk with you since you made a complaint about me about I don't know what.' with a smile & ignore her.
How can someone make a complaint about someone & then act like there's nothing wrong with them?
Surely when she threatened to quit your boss would've said something to 'solve' the issue. Idk, something like 'I'll instruct her to ignore you & you do the same." ???
If she's now sending you daggers OP, it's because you're not playing her twisted game according to plan.
Either that or she's a complete psycho.
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Good luck
