Boss complains I'm quiet at work (reputation, paycheck, money, full time)
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It was pointed out to me in a review that I was too quiet in meetings, and then quickly amended that the boss could see that there were very extroverted people who talked over everyone. They had no complaints with the quality of my work or reports.
So in meetings after that I made every effort to speak about my reports (completely redundant as we emailed everything to the entire staff anyway).
Couple of years later, boss starts getting on everyones case for talking too much during their meetings - and *I* was specifically singled out. Yep, never talked in another meeting again unless I was asked a direct question.
That's just silly and petty.
I have quiet employees and I have employees who would talk until they are hoarse.
All of them have unique traits, skills, and abilities. They all come with their own personalities, and there is no right or wrong amount of talking, lol.
In meetings, I do sometimes will ask an employee I notice staying quiet their opinion and sometimes will ask someone who is being over the top to settle down a bit and let others speak. I try to keep it balanced but don't ding people in performance reviews for meetings.
Personally, I am an introvert and a manager which is a funny combination. If you saw me at work, you would never guess I am an introvert. I've also had to adapt; I have had the "too quiet" comment before which is VERY BAD for a manager. I'm extroverted for pay
I have quiet employees and I have employees who would talk until they are hoarse.
All of them have unique traits, skills, and abilities. They all come with their own personalities, and there is no right or wrong amount of talking, lol.
In meetings, I do sometimes will ask an employee I notice staying quiet their opinion and sometimes will ask someone who is being over the top to settle down a bit and let others speak. I try to keep it balanced but don't ding people in performance reviews for meetings.
Personally, I am an introvert and a manager which is a funny combination. If you saw me at work, you would never guess I am an introvert. I've also had to adapt; I have had the "too quiet" comment before which is VERY BAD for a manager. I'm extroverted for pay
LOL at the extroverted for pay comment! Love it
They were a very, ah... unique boss. Let's keep it at that
I was told in that review that when I did speak up I had great comments and my reports were very well written and they thought I should share them more (again, it was part of our job to email each report to everyone for review, then they'd all be gathered for each event).
So I really put myself out there, butted in when I needed to, spoke my mind, great feedback from coworkers, until the boss flipped their lid I think originally they were trying in their own bizarre way to grow me, but then they themselves squashed me right back down again so what's the point?
I did speak up over the years prior to the "too quiet" review, but I sure wasn't a regular contributor unless I needed to be.
I will say that meetings in that job were for the most part, very short and sweet and to the point and only when necessary, unlike other jobs I've had in the past.
I think you are overthinking things. Some managers are just checking on employees and making sure they are ok. It's not a threat typically. They just want to make sure you are ok and not looking to leave in most cases. It's sign that they are usually happy with you.
I don't talk at work a lot. I talk some, but the conversations around me are about some bands music and who played the guitar and I couldn't care less and know nothing about it. I just block it out and focus on work. But I guess boss wants me to jump in on his comments and entertain him.
I don't care if other people talk about things I don't care about, but I'm super annoyed, that it's like high school or something, where I need to provide social support or entertainment while I work and I am getting bugged about it, because I sit quietly and just work. What the hell is the problem? My boss didn't hire me. He is just my supervisor. I can not focus on my work and chit chat.
He seems like a nice guy in some ways but I can not conform to the personality type he wants and work.
Tell him you'll be happy to do that as soon as he provides you with a written job description for your position/title that includes personal chit-chat during work hours.
I guess they want you to run around and network, speak at meetings and talk lots despite the fact it may make no difference.
They absolutely love this in corporate jobs just the ability to a waffle, talk, conduct yourself well at meetings.
You could all the skills the world, all the education etc but they seem value communication skills, perception management over everything else at corporate jobs.
Better hone your acting skills, or be replaced by a better actor.
Hah! I had similar conflicting annual reviews as you. I was constructively criticized for not voicing my opinion in group meetings. I explained that I was raised to listen and speak only when needed--like when I disagree with something--and not to just talk for the sake of talking, but I can give it a shot. Well the next annual review, I was constructively criticized for talking too much and being "too passionate" in meetings. Really?!?
Switched group and the incoming Director indicated to me that he doesn't want me to voice anything especially in meetings with the C-suites, that I should go over my opinion with him and he would relay it for us as a group in such meetings. I was like.. "uhm... okay" and sure enough, he voiced my opinion as if he had thought of them himself and took credits with the big guys. Whatever, right? Except my latest "constructive criticism" at the annual performance review he said that I need to voice my opinion more especially to the higher ups so that I could be recognized.
Sometimes I can't help but laugh at the absurdities of the corporate world.
Quote:
Originally Posted by yesitis456
It was pointed out to me in a review that I was too quiet in meetings, and then quickly amended that the boss could see that there were very extroverted people who talked over everyone. They had no complaints with the quality of my work or reports.
So in meetings after that I made every effort to speak about my reports (completely redundant as we emailed everything to the entire staff anyway).
Couple of years later, boss starts getting on everyones case for talking too much during their meetings - and *I* was specifically singled out. Yep, never talked in another meeting again unless I was asked a direct question.
Speaking as someone with a decade of experience, success in an office environment is all about personality and whether the right people personally like you. I've seen people turn in sloppy work and get by with it because they are favored (meaning they know how to suck up). Extroverts have a tendency to fit in this category, whereas introverts tend to not be as good at the political game and are often shunned. "You are too quiet" means "You aren't playing the suck up game like we want. Shape up or ship out."
The last place I experienced a true meritocracy was in college where your grades were strictly a measure of how well you studied and understood the material.
The white-collar office world is a popularity contest.
I can understand how you are feeling. That would drive me crazy too, and I am very friendly and talkative....but not when I am supposed to focus on my job.
My suggestion is not to change....focus on your work. Seriously, since the person who hired you might be trying deliberately to counteract this guy's constant noise. You never know, excel and you could be his replacement.
You have much more to complain about then he would. If it comes to it, and you are asked I'd be honest about his constant talking and acting like it is boys night out.
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Yep, never talked in another meeting again unless I was asked a direct question.
I think originally they were trying in their own bizarre way to grow me, but then they themselves squashed me right back down again so what's the point?
