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@ALStafford, I think men are expected to work. Isn't that a given?
Your question isn't about expectations. Your question is about internal desire.
Contrary to false popular belief, every woman doesn't want it enjoy being a mother.
Deep down, women know there is more to themselves than wiping noses. The workplace can suck for both men and women, but It's the price we pay to live as our full, true selves.
I think deep down inside, most MEN would prefer sitting at home and taking care of the children (let alone women).
Is that because they think it's "easy"? Sorry but there is little or no "sitting" involved with being home with kids. Especially if there is more than one child. There are lots of errands - grocery store, drug store, doctor/dentist/orthodontist appointments, driving kids to and from school, sports, scouts, dance, extracurricular activities. Along with house work - dishes, laundry, vacuuming, gardening, cleaning. There are also no breaks. You don't get breaks as you would at a job. With infants there are no breaks even at night time as you may get up several times at night to feed or diaper them.
Also, if you are a stay at home parent, people in the neighborhood will find out and you will get never-ending requests to provide free childcare in your home during the day, which you'll have to refuse because you won't have time for that.
So not much "sitting" involved. And it's disrespectful to describe SAHPs this way.
Is that because they think it's "easy"? Sorry but there is little or no "sitting" involved with being home with kids. Especially if there is more than one child. There are lots of errands - grocery store, drug store, doctor/dentist/orthodontist appointments, driving kids to and from school, sports, scouts, dance, extracurricular activities. Along with house work - dishes, laundry, vacuuming, gardening, cleaning. There are also no breaks. You don't get breaks as you would at a job. With infants there are no breaks even at night time as you may get up several times at night to feed or diaper them.
Also, if you are a stay at home parent, people in the neighborhood will find out and you will get never-ending requests to provide free childcare in your home during the day, which you'll have to refuse because you won't have time for that.
So not much "sitting" involved. And it's disrespectful to describe SAHPs this way.
Sitting at home, staying at home.
The term was not meant to be disrespectful. I'm in my 40s, so all my friends have kids. During the first few years, it makes a lot of sense in some cases to have a SAHP.
Once the kid gets old enough to go to school, then the SAHP should work.
You can argue until you're blue in the face that being a SAHP with school age children is as hard as having a FT career. I disagree.
Once the kid gets old enough to go to school, then the SAHP should work.
.
Sure, I pretty much agree! But you know what? Neither you or I don't get to dictate how other people handle these arrangements in their marriages.
Many people can't return to their career - with or without school aged - children because they have to care for an aging parent with Alzheimer's or dementia or some other health condition.
It’s not deep inside. I’m a SAHM and my husband and I both wanted that from before we began seeing one another. It was the plan all along.
That doesn’t mean it’s the right choice for every family, but I know a lot of women who would rather be with the kids than work more than part time. And a few who can’t stand being home and are better Moms when they’re working and then coming home to do that side of things.
It’s bit prescriptive, but kids having one of their parents as their caregiver is my preference. Dad or mom.
Sure, I pretty much agree! But you know what? Neither you or I don't get to dictate how other people handle these arrangements in their marriages.
Many people can't return to their career - with or without school aged - children because they have to care for an aging parent with Alzheimer's or dementia or some other health condition.
It's called life.
I'm not dictating. It's a thread asking for opinions. That's my opinion.
I couldn't be with a woman who wanted to be a SAHP during school age.
If I was an NBA point guard or a touring jazz musician, then I give a sh@t if my wife stayed at home and watched Oprah all day (is that show even still on?).
The term was not meant to be disrespectful. I'm in my 40s, so all my friends have kids. During the first few years, it makes a lot of sense in some cases to have a SAHP.
Once the kid gets old enough to go to school, then the SAHP should work.
You can argue until you're blue in the face that being a SAHP with school age children is as hard as having a FT career. I disagree.
I’m home with school aged children and littles. We home educate, and have complex medical conditions. It is by far harder to juggle full time caregiving, educating multiple grades of children, and household maintenance than to work any of the jobs I’ve ever had outside the home. I didn’t choose this because it was easy, but as some poster upthread said, I am my fullest and best self inside the freedom of my home. I have the most control and can give my absolute best to the people I value the most.
Just because a child is school aged doesn’t mean working is the default for the caregiver parent. Even if we didn’t homeschool I wouldn’t work, nor would my spouse want me to unless I strongly desired it.
I couldn't be with a woman who wanted to be a SAHP during school age..
They might not fancy you, either.
At any rate, I'm very grateful to the men and women who are SAHPs of school-aged children- they're the ones doing all the volunteer work at schools during the day. This saves the taxpayers a lot of money.
And if they are caring for an aging parent so the parent doesn't have to go into a nursing home, this literally saves the family about a hundred-thousand dollars a year. And it is work.
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