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I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend tonight, took her home, and a friend of mine that I've known since high school texted me and wanted to come over to my condo. We're both 32, grew up together, similar family situation, same neighborhood, same college major, etc. We have as similar backgrounds as you'll find.
He has been in and out of work for years. He dropped out of college years ago after being accused of dealing drugs. There wasn't sufficient legal proof for charges, but it was enough to permanently ban him from UT-Knoxville. This was in 2008/2009. The long and short of it is that he has had numerous short term jobs, but cannot consistently stay employed.
He told me in person tonight that he was "desperately trying to stay self-sufficient." I just couldn't believe it. I have my faults, but I've been self-sufficient for many years. I've done what I needed to do to acquire skills to be relevant. Frankly, I don't even think he tries - there are plenty of jobs here paying $15/hr if you want to work. It might not be desirable work, but $15/hr for relatively unskilled labor that I know he could get is doable in my neck of the woods. He seems to have every excuse in the book. He acts with a local theater company and is waiting on an acting break. He has some vague this or that in the pipeline. He's working on some sort of personal project that he's sure will generate income. There is always an excuse as to why he can't, or won't, do an 8-5 job. 3
I've had employment struggles myself here in Tennessee. Tennessee is a terrible state for workers. Outside of Nashville, the market for white collar professionals is and remains poor. Wages are low and benefits are poor. With that said, he can't even get consistent $12/hr work. We aren't in close enough contact for me to really be able to diagnose the problem, but I just find his mindset bizarre.
We are in an employee's market, especially at the low end, where he is. $12/hr jobs or so are abundant, yet he can't seem to secure anything for more than a few months. I don't think he has any major personality problems or mental health issues. He has been low income for a decade now after he should have graduated college, and can't seem to break out of the new college grad (he didn't graduate) mindset, or employment market.
How many low income do you know that get stuck? How many don't try to better themselves?
Your question is too broad. There are a lot of low income people who work two jobs and are going to college. So, the issue isn't being low income.
Your question is more like - how many people do you know who had every opportunity to have a successful life, including the opportunity to go to college without having to work, etc., - but who still can't keep a job? Something more along those lines.
Because this is about someone who came from the same opportunities you were given, but who isn't flourishing in the same way as someone like you.
It's not about low income people not wanting to better themselves, if you see my meaning.
I know people that have been working in low income jobs their whole lives, even in a big city where there are other opportunities. I don't know why. They may prefer lower levels of responsibility. But unless they're trying to move in with me or asking me for money, it's none of my business what job they do.
He probably does have some sort of mental health issue. You don't have to seem crazy to have a mental health issue. He is smart enough, as he went to college, but he lacks follow through and takes too many risks which wouldn't normally work out, such as drug dealing and acting. I don't know him, but its possible he has ADHD. I say that because it seems he lacks follow trough and doesn't want to do work he isn't that interested in and he takes unwise risks. I hear about people like this who have a lot of potential and once they get treated, they do well. Just my guess. Perhaps you could see if he would like to get some help to see if that is his issue.
No, I don't agree. Low motivation and effort is one factor, but poor people aren't poor just because they're lazy. There are plenty of high income people who pretty much just got given their job because of their family or something, and there's plenty of low income downtrodden poor SOBs who can't get around no matter how hard they work.
I would consider myself low income. I did well in education, applied myself, had my first job at 15, avoided got drugs and crime, and never got into trouble. It still took me over ten adult years to find a safe place to live and a stable place industry to work in.
In your situation OP, more specifically your friends', I agree, they don't really sound like they are trying too hard or bothering with themselves. If he hasn't got a job and is making up excuses, that's sad and pathetic. Encourage him to stand up for themselves and get to work. But be careful about throwing that "poor people are poor because they're lazy" attitude around and then dangling your well-knit family background and expensive education in front of my face, otherwise I'll tell you where to put it.
Not everyone has the aptitude, or even the desire to peruse a high powered white collar career. Increasingly to get one of these high paying jobs one needs to study intensive majors like computer science, engineering, or accounting. Not everyone is cut out for that, and therefore ends up in low wages (With the exception of those who pick up a skilled trade.)
There are lots of immigrants who have both. Somehow, they figure it out. I've met tons of them in my life.
OTOH, many folks lack both. My wife volunteers at the local homeless shelter and hears endless stories from people who blame everybody else for their bad situation. Although some are mentally ill, many just don't want to conform.
Not everyone has the aptitude, or even the desire to peruse a high powered white collar career. Increasingly to get one of these high paying jobs one needs to study intensive majors like computer science, engineering, or accounting. Not everyone is cut out for that, and therefore ends up in low wages (With the exception of those who pick up a skilled trade.)
Wait. So anyone who doesn't get a degree in computer science, engineering, or accounting ends up in low wages!? There is plenty of middle ground between "high powered white collar career" and poor. And plenty of middle ground between education levels. Don't make oversimplified ridiculous statements.
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