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Old 10-11-2018, 08:17 PM
 
6,393 posts, read 4,115,163 times
Reputation: 8252

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First of all, all I have are anecdotes. So those of you who demand a scientific study, I don't have any.

My parents always taught me that there is always a reason why people who need help from a relative or friend to get a job needed help in the first place. Try to find out the reason first before helping.

Keep in mind that I'm about to give two examples out of many that I have. So, I don't just have these two examples.

A few months ago, my friend a retired cop asked me to help his son get a job in the trades. He wanted to be an electrician. I didn't think much of it and thought we could always use another electrician. So, I talked to him. Sounded enthusiastic enough. I asked one of my senior electricians if he had room to take in as an apprentice a young guy as a favor to me. He said sure. Set up everything for him. The day he was suppose to show up for his first day on the job, he never showed up!

When I told my friend the retired cop, he apologized and called his son. His son said he wanted to be a real estate agent now. Ok... good luck with that. Last I heard, he dropped out of real estate class.

Last month, my aunt called me and asked me to help her son, my cousin, find a career in construction. I talked to him and explained to him the various jobs in construction. Everything from laborer to operator to test technician. He said he wanted to be a test tech. I gave him the number of a guy I know who is looking to hire test tech. In fact, my friend can't find enough test techs so he's willing to hire them and pay for their schooling for certs.

It's been a month and my friend said he never got any call. My cousin went on radio silence. Not even a courtesy call to me saying he changed his mind.

Yes, I'm a dumbass.

I think I've figured it out. Those of us who are proactive about jumping at opportunities when they present themselves have trouble understanding the thought process of procrastinators.

What do you guys think? Is it worth it to try to help these young people find their way?
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Old 10-11-2018, 08:43 PM
 
Location: TN/NC
35,077 posts, read 31,302,097 times
Reputation: 47550
I disagree.

If the economy is bad, it is difficult to get a job, particularly for those at the bottom of the economic ladder (recent graduates and the like) who have the fewest skills to offer. This may be no fault of their own, but a fault of the economy as a whole.

If people sign up to do X, then fail to come to class or show up to work, that's an individual failure of work ethic.
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Old 10-11-2018, 08:54 PM
 
3,882 posts, read 2,372,869 times
Reputation: 7447
Quote:
Originally Posted by MetroWord View Post
I think I've figured it out. Those of us who are proactive about jumping at opportunities when they present themselves have trouble understanding the thought process of procrastinators.

What do you guys think? Is it worth it to try to help these young people find their way?
Yes, it is. I'm not trying to be critical, but you set both of them up for failure. Here is why. You should not have used your contacts until they had proven their level of interest and if they take action. For example, if someone said they wanted to be an electrician, recommend a great book on it, an article to read, a blog, whatever, and ask them to contact you a week later to discuss what they think of the information and the profession. If they contact you a week later bursting with talk about the work and how very interested they are in it, then you have a great chance to see them make progress.

But if a week goes by and you don't hear from them, don't bother with them. Because for whatever reason they weren't interested enough in it and had no leverage to do anything in that direction.

If you make it too easy for them with little understanding about them, they are being setup for failure. The thing is, if they try one thing and contact you a week and say "I don't think the electrician thing would be for me because..." and you can either see if their observations made sense or not. If they do, like they don't like the idea of traveling all the time from job to job which is what most electricians do, then you can discuss another field with them. Or perhaps going to college and getting a degree in something they are very interested in.

I know you didn't set them up for failure on purpose, but they have to meet you half way. Over the years I have met young people and still have them ask me about my profession and there are those that really have something on the ball. You recommend something to them, they write it down and dig into it immediately which is how I have always been. Others aren't sure what they want. Also, unless they have to work to get a job, they aren't likely to do what is needed to hang on to it either.

I think it is OK to have young people grow up feeling there is a network of help for them to learn, but I don't think you are going any favors for them by putting them right into the work flow with your professional contacts unless they have showed initiative.
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Old 10-11-2018, 09:00 PM
 
6,345 posts, read 8,119,844 times
Reputation: 8784
Quote:
Originally Posted by rummage View Post
Yes, it is. I'm not trying to be critical, but you set both of them up for failure. Here is why. You should not have used your contacts until they had proven their level of interest and if they take action. For example, if someone said they wanted to be an electrician, recommend a great book on it, an article to read, a blog, whatever, and ask them to contact you a week later to discuss what they think of the information and the profession. If they contact you a week later bursting with talk about the work and how very interested they are in it, then you have a great chance to see them make progress.

But if a week goes by and you don't hear from them, don't bother with them. Because for whatever reason they weren't interested enough in it and had no leverage to do anything in that direction.

If you make it too easy for them with little understanding about them, they are being setup for failure. The thing is, if they try one thing and contact you a week and say "I don't think the electrician thing would be for me because..." and you can either see if their observations made sense or not. If they do, like they don't like the idea of traveling all the time from job to job which is what most electricians do, then you can discuss another field with them. Or perhaps going to college and getting a degree in something they are very interested in.

I know you didn't set them up for failure on purpose, but they have to meet you half way. Over the years I have met young people and still have them ask me about my profession and there are those that really have something on the ball. You recommend something to them, they write it down and dig into it immediately which is how I have always been. Others aren't sure what they want. Also, unless they have to work to get a job, they aren't likely to do what is needed to hang on to it either.

I think it is OK to have young people grow up feeling there is a network of help for them to learn, but I don't think you are going any favors for them by putting them right into the work flow with your professional contacts unless they have showed initiative.
This is good advice from rummage. I bought a SQL bought for a few friends to encourage them to learn. Four people have changed their careers to SQL.

Two did not change their careers to SQL, but they are in senior management. They are well-established in their 6 figure salary careers. It depends a lot on your location. They would not have had the opportunity to switch to a SQL career in a rural town with few companies.

The one time that I offered to help a friend's fiancee get another job. She ghosted our recruiter and me. He said that we never contacted her. This was not the last act of flakiness. She bailed on his engagement, the following year. I am glad to not see either one of them again.

I don't give out fishes. I show folks how to fish. They can get their own fishes and happy to do so.
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Old 10-11-2018, 09:34 PM
 
12,847 posts, read 9,055,079 times
Reputation: 34930
Quote:
Originally Posted by MetroWord View Post
First of all, all I have are anecdotes. So those of you who demand a scientific study, I don't have any.

My parents always taught me that there is always a reason why people who need help from a relative or friend to get a job needed help in the first place. Try to find out the reason first before helping.

...
Fundamentally your parents understood what most people don't. People who need help tend to always need help for some reason. On the other hand, those who are self motivated seldom need an extra hand.

I'm willing to go the extra mile and then some for anyone who is motivated and wants to learn and is working at learning. But I've also learned that some people cannot be helped because they refuse to help themselves. And no amount of wishful thinking and feeling sorry for them will ever change that.
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