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I'll keep this post to-the-point, hopefully you can offer some clarity.
The company I work at launched its product within the past year (I've been at the company one year). The business is doing well, and management has been looking to add staff. I referred someone from my previous company who I had a good business relationship with and felt would do a good job. My boss trusts my judgement, and offered the person I referred the position.
Around this time, I had texted the person I referred asking if he received any update (I was unaware of the offer). He tells me there has been no update. Evidently, he was lying. My boss mentioned to me that he was offered the position, and my referral said no without much of an explanation. I reached out to him upon hearing the news to ask what concerns he had (that I could help alleviate). Never heard back.
Why he said no will always remain a mystery. He would have received a promotion over his current job, as well as a substantial raise. I guess what bothers me is I stuck my neck out for him, and he cut my boss and I off. I felt bad about it and didn't want this guy's attitude to reflect poorly on me or my boss. My boss assured me it wouldn't, and I had done what I could.
For anyone who's been in the referring position or the person being referred, why would someone say no and then cut you off in this fashion? Seems dumb to me. He was a fit for the role, but I'll never recommend him for a position again.
I learned that same hard lesson many years ago. I recommended a young man who was a neighbor for a job where I worked. He seemed like a decent young family man, and a hard worker. He was the employee from Hell ! Showed up late, or didn't show up at all, so they eventually canned him.
The problem is, it reflected badly on me, as I was in management, and they thought my judgement should have been better. I have NEVER recommended ANYONE for a job since that day , and never will.
No good deed goes unpunished, they say, and it is sometimes true.
It sounds he used the offer as a bargaining chip to get a raise. He probably went to his current employer and said something like "I was offered a new position. I am willing to stay here if you are able to match their offer."
Maybe he was to embarassed to say that's what his plan was.
It's theoretically possible. The only reason I don't see this working for him is because his current company is a giant corporation - one I also used to work at and know how they operate - it won't net him nearly the amount of earnings he would have where I work.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tencent
As long as you communicate to your boss that it was an OK working relationship at best (and you weren't best buds) it should be fine.
Make this abundantly clear. Things appear to be fine.
Quote:
Originally Posted by don1945
I learned that same hard lesson many years ago. I recommended a young man who was a neighbor for a job where I worked. He seemed like a decent young family man, and a hard worker. He was the employee from Hell ! Showed up late, or didn't show up at all, so they eventually canned him.
The problem is, it reflected badly on me, as I was in management, and they thought my judgement should have been better. I have NEVER recommended ANYONE for a job since that day , and never will.
No good deed goes unpunished, they say, and it is sometimes true.
That's quite a story. Unfortunately, previous good work is not always an indicator of future success.
To be honest, it doesn't bother me that he turned this job down (despite it being a 30% raise). Happens all the time, not really a big deal. It could be for plenty of reasons. What irked me is the ghosting. He only got the interview and probably the offer in the first place because I referred him.
How was your relationship before the job interview. If it was just as co-workers or former work friends its possible they never though the relationship was much from the beginning and the referral could just mean that; a referral, not a open invitation into their personal life.
I know that in the past I've had former co-workers reach out for positions at their new jobs. I've appreciated each and every one, but it can place you in an awkward spot especially when you interview and decide the position isn't for you for whatever reason. The person who referred you obviously wants to know why you turn the job down or how the interview went and for many people including myself it's very personal and if I don't have a true none working relationship with you then I feel that it's better to just move on.
It sounds like this relationship was purely work related and now that you don't work together they don't see the need to keep engaging with you, especially if they still have a job. It's possible they're trying to keep a distance to preserve their current job. I know that I've been with larger companies before that look at all other similar companies as competitors and working with or associating with rivals could be grounds for firing. Like people said, it's not always about the money or size of the company. It seems that everyone has moved on from the interview which is best.
I learned that same hard lesson many years ago. I recommended a young man who was a neighbor for a job where I worked. He seemed like a decent young family man, and a hard worker. He was the employee from Hell ! Showed up late, or didn't show up at all, so they eventually canned him.
The problem is, it reflected badly on me, as I was in management, and they thought my judgement should have been better. I have NEVER recommended ANYONE for a job since that day , and never will.
No good deed goes unpunished, they say, and it is sometimes true.
Over the years I have recommended or facilitated quite a few RN hires at the Hospital.
To my credit not a bad one in the bunch...
What I have learned is the value of a job isn't what it once was and people come and go without much thought now... especially with low unemployment.
Mostly these were new grads... bright, eager and quick on the uptake.
The downside is none stayed more than 2-3 years... just enough to gain experience and prime them for work elsewhere.
Many, being young still had more to learn... they did well, with great reviews, training and pay bumps... but the pay is more in say San Francisco but it comes at a cost... either long commutes timewise and/or higher cost of living... it is something a person needs to realize on their own that $5 more an hour isn't necessarily better when you have to pay for parking, bridge tolls and spend 90 minutes more on the road...
Hopping from job to job is much more the norm and often it is totally at the employee's discretion.
I'll keep this post to-the-point, hopefully you can offer some clarity.
The company I work at launched its product within the past year (I've been at the company one year). The business is doing well, and management has been looking to add staff. I referred someone from my previous company who I had a good business relationship with and felt would do a good job. My boss trusts my judgement, and offered the person I referred the position.
Around this time, I had texted the person I referred asking if he received any update (I was unaware of the offer). He tells me there has been no update. Evidently, he was lying. My boss mentioned to me that he was offered the position, and my referral said no without much of an explanation. I reached out to him upon hearing the news to ask what concerns he had (that I could help alleviate). Never heard back.
Why he said no will always remain a mystery. He would have received a promotion over his current job, as well as a substantial raise. I guess what bothers me is I stuck my neck out for him, and he cut my boss and I off. I felt bad about it and didn't want this guy's attitude to reflect poorly on me or my boss. My boss assured me it wouldn't, and I had done what I could.
For anyone who's been in the referring position or the person being referred, why would someone say no and then cut you off in this fashion? Seems dumb to me. He was a fit for the role, but I'll never recommend him for a position again.
Sorry this happened to you. I have always tried to help people get a job when I heard of something and felt they would be good for it. Sometimes it works out great, and they continue to thank me for years for recommending them and how happy they are there. Other times they have also ghosted. One guy after being hired never showed up on the job and never contacted the employer as to why.
The ones that don't worry out and behaving unprofessionally, lie and ghost have personal issues that you can't do anything about. We can't truly know everyone else and what is going on in their lives. Also, some people simply don't feel they are deserving and that's not the kind of thing they will admit to even themselves.
The lesson here is, you take risks with everything you do and don't do. We can't go through life being paralyzed from taking any sort of action our of fear that it won't work out to our satisfaction.
Many people have horrible communication skills. You can be assured they most likely ghost, evade, lie and distort in their personal relationships as well. Just move along and never do him any favors ever again.
Many people have horrible communication skills. You can be assured they most likely ghost, evade, lie and distort in their personal relationships as well. Just move along and never do him any favors ever again.
They treat their professional contacts like a bad date and lying about it. If a referral doesn't work out, my contacts send me a message over LinkedIn and move on. They don't lie about not getting an offer.
I wonder if it's a generational thing with millennials, as they seem less able to communicate and just disappear.
was this friend of yours even looking for a new job? or did you refer him thinking he would take a higher paying job because it was offered?
if he didn't ask for referral, maybe the cold treatment is now you have his boss thinking he wants to leave when he doesnt
plus the pay difference might not be that much, you got paid a lot more, maybe he is getting that pay now and you don't know
companies do market adjustments, if you got paid more in the same area, the company may have adjusted pay to keep others from leaving, and now make the same
got a market adjustment here about every 5 years or so between different employers, so I know everyone in town pays more or less in the same range, it's the other benefits that make the difference now. if pay was too off, people go to next street and work there
Did you ask him if he would be interested in this job before you referred him? or did you just think he would be good at it so you referred him without asking?
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