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Would you actively look for career advancement if you are planning on having baby soon? If you have a safe, comfortable position at this point. Would you look to challenge yourself or take on new role for purpose of going somewhere all while hoping to have baby soon. Soon as in, as soon as you can get pregnant which is no guarantee. It might take years to get pregnant or never or one can be pregnant with in a month, not much control over this.
This is specifically for female. I don't mean to be sexist but the reality is a women's life changes significantly after having baby vs. man.
Would you actively look for career advancement if you are planning on having baby soon? If you have a safe, comfortable position at this point. Would you look to challenge yourself or take on new role for purpose of going somewhere all while hoping to have baby soon. Soon as in, as soon as you can get pregnant which is no guarantee. It might take years to get pregnant or never or one can be pregnant with in a month, not much control over this.
This is specifically for female. I don't mean to be sexist but the reality is a women's life changes significantly after having baby vs. man.
depends on a lot of other factors. what is the spouse's job and what kind of flexibility does he have? does the husband have a lot of flexibility and will he be able to share in the burden of maybe calling in sick if the baby is sick? or is it all going to fall on the wife? does the couple need more income and thus advancing would help out financially? or will the couple be financially secure with their current salaries?
After kids, I'd say no, it's not worth the stress and burnout. I took a few years off but maintained a foot in the industry. Now, my kids are barely school age and I'm in full swing again. It went by quickly in hindsight. We lived on a very tight budget those years with no regrets. Most of my fellow professionals did the same.
I came here to make a post about the very topic I made post 3 years ago. I had a Dejavu feeling and went looking at my history & found this. Here I am 3 years later, still in same predicament. I don't have a kid yet, did have a miscarriage & slowing starting our fertility aid journey. I still think about future family needs.
Financially I am happy where I am but mentally I feel like I am letting myself down. My husband has less flexibility at his work than me & that won't change. There is a posting in my group to go from research to marketing which will be a promotion for me. I don't have business background but this is a technical company & many before me made that transition. I think I can do the job but the business world is lot more cut throat & less forgiving than the technical world. I don't know if I want that now
I did. In fact, when I got pregnant, I really ramped it up: got additional certifications, presented at conferences, published papers, etc. With my first I did it because I was terrified of being "mommy-tracked," and I wanted to earn good raises to help pay for daycare. With my second and third children, I did it because it put me in a better place for when I returned after maternity leave. Honestly, even with a relatively flexible job, each kid meant serious productivity losses that first year of life due to the stress of balancing work/home, PPD, daycare germs, doctor's appointments, etc. And that's assuming you have a healthy child without special needs.
FWIW, my youngest starts kindergarten this fall, and NOW I feel like I want to coast career-wise. I have achieved a lot professionally, and my oldest is only 5 years away from college. I would have LOVED to spend more time with my kids when they were babies, but as they say, "Bigger kids come with bigger problems." So I don't regret changing fewer diapers if it means that now I am around to help with puberty, bullying, anxiety, etc. Though the diapers were a lot more fun!
Good luck on your fertility journey, and I am sorry for your loss.
Would you actively look for career advancement if you are planning on having baby soon? If you have a safe, comfortable position at this point. Would you look to challenge yourself or take on new role for purpose of going somewhere all while hoping to have baby soon. Soon as in, as soon as you can get pregnant which is no guarantee. It might take years to get pregnant or never or one can be pregnant with in a month, not much control over this.
This is specifically for female. I don't mean to be sexist but the reality is a women's life changes significantly after having baby vs. man.
Sure, you do what you have to do. Just know that there will be some who will be angry if you fight for a position they are also interested in, and then six months down the road announce you're going on maternity leave for six months.
I wouldn't have kids period this day in age. But thats me. No job security regardless of what level on the food chain you fall. Its all gone. We're probably due for a nasty recession in the coming years as well. Why risk it?
Why not? Husband could stay at home or is that a sexist remark these days?
I rather not have anyone quit their job to stay home. I prefer both of us taking lower key job that allows lot of flexibility so we can both be involved in family and have career. Instead of one person earning a lot while the other earns nothing.
I did. In fact, when I got pregnant, I really ramped it up: got additional certifications, presented at conferences, published papers, etc. With my first I did it because I was terrified of being "mommy-tracked," and I wanted to earn good raises to help pay for daycare. With my second and third children, I did it because it put me in a better place for when I returned after maternity leave. Honestly, even with a relatively flexible job, each kid meant serious productivity losses that first year of life due to the stress of balancing work/home, PPD, daycare germs, doctor's appointments, etc. And that's assuming you have a healthy child without special needs.
FWIW, my youngest starts kindergarten this fall, and NOW I feel like I want to coast career-wise. I have achieved a lot professionally, and my oldest is only 5 years away from college. I would have LOVED to spend more time with my kids when they were babies, but as they say, "Bigger kids come with bigger problems." So I don't regret changing fewer diapers if it means that now I am around to help with puberty, bullying, anxiety, etc. Though the diapers were a lot more fun!
Good luck on your fertility journey, and I am sorry for your loss.
Wow 3 kids and all the work you did is impressive. I have directors and business managers in my company who went on maternity leave and came back full swing. I don't know how you girls do it but it is impressive. I do think older kids need parents more than babies because that is when they are learning to navigate the world
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