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Hello, I'm in an awkward situation at work, at least it's starting to look that way.
I work at a big company as a software engineer. I've had my current manager for about 2 years now. She is an attractive Indian woman that is married with 2 kids. Her marriage was arranged by her parents as is the custom in India. I've always noticed that she is a "live wire" - by that I mean she has a sexual vibe to her and is very obviously attracted to men. For a while and still, I catch her looking at my crotch and other body parts and exhibiting flirty body language like playing with her hair, uncrossing her legs when certain things are said, leaning toward me when I say something she thinks s funny, etc. One time she walked toward me seductively and starting to pull her shirt up in the middle of the office. Ive been professional and not responded, though it definitely has seemed she ready and willing to have some fun. Her current thing might be the result of me not responding to her plays.
On our team, the most junior employee is very precocious and outgoing. Lately they have been spending a lot of time together (always arranged by her) and I have noticed many innuendo riddled conversations between them on our team chat conversations (online). He's made it clear in the past he is very attracted to Indian women and also likes older women. He is 5 years younger than her. He has a medical "appointment" of some sort every Wednesday and she has been working from home the last few Wednesdays. Last week on this day they both showed up mid-afternoon within 30 mins of each other. They also have been disappearing during the work day around the same time, etc. A few weeks ago I saw her basically blowing kisses to him in the middle of a meeting. She also will lean toward him like they are a couple when sitting next to each other in meetings. Surprisingly obvious stuff. I've also noticed him staring at her butt and other body parts much more than usual.
Normally I would not be bothered by this but because of the fact she is a "Senior Manager" and he is a junior employee, both on my team, it is making me feel a bit awkward. I believe other people are starting to notice as well.
Any advice on how to react to this or should I act like I don't notice? I have no "proof" and am concerned about my job security if I say something to HR or anyone else.
Last edited by cbluciano; 09-08-2019 at 09:05 PM..
You sound jealous..and if that’s not the case you should mind your own darn business... it has nothing to do with you and you have no proof other than your suspicion. Do your job and keep your peal clutching to yourself. Nothing worse than a gossiping busybody!
You sound jealous..and if that’s not the case you should mind your own darn business... it has nothing to do with you and you have no proof other than your suspicion. Do your job and keep your peal clutching to yourself. Nothing worse than a gossiping busybody!
Nope, not jealous. Could of been me and still can.
Have you worked before? Not awkward when your boss and junior team member appear to be getting it on? Alot of people would argue there are some moral conflicts there. Team chemistry and productivity are at risk. Not to mention she's married with 2 kids. I probably should of mentioned I'm the next most senior person under her on a team of 10 and have worked with her for 4 years. It concerns me a great deal, both personally and professionally. If this was a part-time retail job or something like that, it would not be a big deal to me.
Last edited by cbluciano; 09-08-2019 at 11:50 PM..
Nope, not jealous. Could of been me and still can.
Have you worked before? Not awkward when your boss and junior team member appear to be getting it on? Alot of people would argue there are some moral conflicts there. Team chemistry and productivity are at risk. Not to mention she's married with 2 kids. I probably should of mentioned I'm the next most senior person under her on a team of 10 and have worked with her for 4 years. It concerns me a great deal, both personally and professionally. If this was a part-time retail job or something like that, it would not be a big deal to me.
You are not in a position to pass any sort of moral judgement on these two. You can't even prove wrongdoing, just insinuate it. They are not forcing anyone else to join them in their activities. If you are having personal difficulties with their behavior discuss it with a counselor on your own and learn some ways to cope with that. IMHO the only justification you might have to step into the middle of this mess is if you can demonstrate that one or both of them are involved in criminal activities, someone else is being harassed, or they are causing financial losses to the company.
If/when the bomb does go off and someone asks you for collaboration, that's the time to say something.
People who lie down with pigs will get dirty. Stay out of it until you can't stay out of it.
This will not end well.
Close your eyes and wait it out.
Is empty quoting ok around here?
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