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We live in MA and want to relocate to NC. We've been wanting to do this for quite a few years but nothing has turned up job wise for either of us that would entice us to give up jobs here and move down. Now, our oldest is going into last year of HS so one of us is going to stay behind regardless to let him have his senior year.
A few months ago, my spouse lost his job. So now he's been unemployed since April and my salary does NOT cover our expenses. We were in a rental house having sold our house in 2007 and now we're going to move to a smaller place that's about $500/mo less in rent. We'll be squished but that's the way it goes.
So my question is: what do we have to lose if we try to find a studio apt down there (can be found for $500-700/mo) where he can be "local" and look for a job? He's also a decent carpenter, though not formally licensed, he could probably take on smaller home improvement jobs (it's what he's done here when he's been out of work before, though he's balking at that now for some reason).
I don't think he'll go for this scenario, but it sounds pretty good to me--and workable. Am I nuts? What do others think? Anyone actually done something like this?
Though to me your idea seems perfectly reasonable, it's not for any of us to say if it's the best idea for your family.
This really isn't a "job situation" but a "marriage & family situation." If the decision isn't unanimous (at least between you & the husband) then it is destined to not work out.
Getting kids graduated is a freedom from many of the bounds that tie you down. Time to fly again. We've done all kinds of things and taken chances we would never have done while the kids were still in the nest and we were tied to the mortgage that housed them and the jobs that paid their way.
Our kids are not quite ready to fly away from the nest. It's the oldest going into his senior year. But I tend to agree. Why not have him move down there? We had agreed that, if he *did* get a job offer, he would have moved down there anyway with our soon to be 9th grader (to get him started all four years in the same HS) and I'd stay behind with our youngest (still pretty attached to me) and our oldest. Then, when they were settled in down there, and it was a good time for me to leave up here (perhaps when his college apps were in and the neighbors host him for a few months?), I'd go down there with the youngest. My job is essentially portable.
With him not having a job, taking one kid down there doesn't make sense as he'd be tied to the right school district, etc., even in a shorter term rental. But with just him, he could grab a studio apt in a cheap, but safe part of town and the $500/mo we're saving here could go to offset that.
Location: Upstate NY native, now living in Houston
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Quote:
Originally Posted by findingmesomeday
Our kids are not quite ready to fly away from the nest. It's the oldest going into his senior year. But I tend to agree. Why not have him move down there? We had agreed that, if he *did* get a job offer, he would have moved down there anyway with our soon to be 9th grader (to get him started all four years in the same HS) and I'd stay behind with our youngest (still pretty attached to me) and our oldest. Then, when they were settled in down there, and it was a good time for me to leave up here (perhaps when his college apps were in and the neighbors host him for a few months?), I'd go down there with the youngest. My job is essentially portable.
With him not having a job, taking one kid down there doesn't make sense as he'd be tied to the right school district, etc., even in a shorter term rental. But with just him, he could grab a studio apt in a cheap, but safe part of town and the $500/mo we're saving here could go to offset that.
Ok, so I'm convinced. How do I convince him?
hmmm...I think I missed the important part of the situation ... that he had to be convinced. He has got to want to do it in order for it to work. Everyone has to be on board.
Talk to him openly and honestly about it. He may be willing to try it out. Then again he may not .... but you guys need to have the discussion and see what you can work out.
He's just very hesitant to move without a job. And when he was working here, that made perfect sense. But now he's not working, he hates living here and I'm thinking--why not? If it works out, the separation will be for about 5-7 months max. If it doesn't work out, it will be shorter than that. We've had 3-4 month separations before (job transfers/relocations) that were further away than these two cities so getting back and forth was impossible.
The biggest issue is that without him working, we're really broke so we don't have the money laying around for deposits on apts, etc. But perhaps he could go down there, stay in a short term residence place for a few weeks, find a carpentry job or jobs and start pounding the pavement for a more permanent job. Then he could find a lease on an apt/house/townhouse where we want to live (school district), and we could make plans for all of us to be down there after oldest graduates (when we can hopefully buy a house again).
Sounds good to me. But then again, in theory, a lot of things sound good until you place them in practice!
One thing you might want to think about for your older son...College in NC if you are a resident, is very inexpensive compared to many other state schools. We have some GREAT colleges and only a years residency requierment.
One thing you might want to think about for your older son...College in NC if you are a resident, is very inexpensive compared to many other state schools. We have some GREAT colleges and only a years residency requierment.
Oh yup, we've thought about that---and the NC colleges are actually way up there on his list! But even if my husband moved down there in Sept, he wouldn't qualify by the time he's applying, meaning he'll have that much harder of a time getting accepted.
My advise is to look if you can affrod the moving cost;moving isn't that cheap if you have much. I would maybe try to get a job and live on a tight budget for the last year your son is in HS and then move having sved some money if possible.
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