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I used to feel a little bit bad that my lot in life did not include a McMansion and shiny, brand-new cars, private schools for the children and fully funded ivy-league style college educations for them. Not a lot bad, a little bit bad.
I have been steadily employed, either by myself or in the traditional way, for probably 90% of my adult life, by both necessity and choice. There was about a year or so in 2005-2006 when I didn't really work but that's pretty much it. Even then, I had a part-time job at a scrapbook store, but that was just for fun.
My husband is a teacher, and I guess for the most part, I am a "worker bee" as mentioned by someone on another thread (this was said in a derogatory way). I do have some management duties but unless my boss leaves, it's worker bee status for me for the duration--and I am perfectly OK with that. I am a pretty highly paid worker bee for this area, though. I also have a little part-time gig doing the same thing I do in my full-time job, and that actually is sort of lucrative--I clocked it at $65 an hour the week before last, but that is not sustainable 40 hours a week (it's production based). Even a teaching job, notoriously derided as low paying in our country, is considered a highly paid job around here (semirural middle Tennessee). When we bought our house here in 2005, the mortgage lady said, "It's good that he is a teacher; usually I am writing mortgages for people who make $8 or $9 an hour--that's the prevailing wage around here."
Anyway, I can't say that both of our jobs are secure forever and ever, but we are in what's apparently currently considered the two most recession-resistant industries: Health care and Education (with my husband being in special education). We are not going to be bringing home the six-figure salaries; that's not even in either of our career paths as things stand now. I had always sort of had the idea that that meant real success somehow.
But now with this "new normal" people keep talking about, I guess I am feeling like the level at which we live is much less scary and much more sustainable than it would have been had we been pulling down the executive salaries. We would have trouble making ends meet long-term if one of us lost our job, but between savings and unemployment and a few other things we have going for us, I think we could survive for at least a few years. Because we cashed out during the housing boom in Florida and then bought a house here that was appraised at 20% more than what we paid, we have a lot of equity in our house. There never really was a housing bubble here, so the 20% should cover any fluctuations in the value of our house, plus we are not leaving anytime soon.
We are not wonderful managers with money and we have done some dumb stuff over the years--but we are basically OK.
I really did used to feel that I did not measure up to my "contemporaries" who were moving up in the finance world or the professions (law, medicine). I'm sure that many people are still thriving despite the current climate, and that is a good and wonderful thing. But I guess what this "new normal" is teaching me is that I think I am OK with my lot in life. We are not so far up the ladder that a fall would kill us. We are not so low that we can't see the view.
Good for you. As the saying goes, don't believe the hype . . . people who measure their own success and happiness based on what others think will probably have a hard time ever feeling content.
Whether it's true or not, there's a story that circulates about Kurt Vonnegut and Joseph Heller attending a party at the mansion of some financier in the Hamptons. Taking in the opulence, Vonnegut supposedly asked Heller how he felt that, despite all his success as an author, he wouldn't make in a lifetime what their host made in a year. Heller responded that he had something their host would never have - enough.
We have always lived below our means and never carried any debt except mortgage and sometimes car loans. At one point our mortgage payment was less than 10% of our income, because we chose to live in a small older townhome when our friends were buying McMansions. There's nothing wrong with that, and it's allowed us to have financial security.
We did something similar in real estate--bought the Florida house in early 2003 before things got really crazy, then "cashed out" on the New Jersey house at the top of the market.
The good point is you and your family can appreciate the simple things in life.
Though we need money to live and I would love 2 steady incomes, I think by not being 'rich' or even 'comfortable' you start to realize that life is not 'better' if you have all the toys and all the ease money can buy.
They say hard times build character. In addition, do we need 'all this stuff' anyhow? If you only gain friends and admiration for what you do or what you own, what happens if that is yanked away?
Many people who are 'well off' have no clue how to function in the real world. You can see it with all these idiots who overextended themselves and now have 'embraced' frugality. Wow, they know how to save 30 cents by making their own cleaners..or they eat out less...
They want applause and accolades...(and don't deserve them).
Big deal, some of us have lived frugally for years.
I admire your husband for doing a job that helps people. Being a teacher is not always an easy path. And as for you being 'a worker bee' well, it's an honest living...
That's OK, annerk. I am a pretty well compensated worker bee and I get to work from home 90% of the time. I have great benefits and my income alone is probably 25% above the county annual household income average, so in a way I have a few of the benefits of the non-worker bees (fairly decent income and a modicum of respect for being good at what we do) and pretty much all of the benefits of the worker bees (fewer headaches, not involved in cutthroat office politics stuff, etc). And our house, while in no way a McMansion, is roomy enough that we house my mother in her own 'apartment,' an exchange student, another family member plus our own 3 teenagers. It's big (3500 or maybe 4000 sf), but it's also a 1970s-era house that is not yet considered trendy or charming, I guess. It's definitely not a magazine/HGTV house, if you know what I mean, although I do try. Just...not that hard.
We are comfortable and content, but I guess from my perspective we don't have a lot of prestige or status. The newest car we own is a 2002 and we just bought that six months ago. I haven't had car payments for about 5 years and I am not anxious to start that again, so we don't drive newer, flashy cars. That used to be a little tiny bit of a thorn in my side but now I consider it just the opposite.
Anyway, if this truly is the new "normal" and a lot of the flash and plastic status stuff is gone for the long haul, I think there are a lot of positives in that. Not for the people who got cut off at the knees, but there are probably even positives for them. Living large can be a huge trap. I have just never seen this many people caught in the trap before.
Wordy, I envy you. I worked from home 100% at my last job, and boy do I miss that.
I understand what you are saying though. We just had a very tragic situation here in central Florida, a father killed his kids, wife, and himself. They lived in a 'prestigious" neighborhood, were in bankruptcy, spent huge amounts of money to "show and flash." They were hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt and who found the bodies? The maid. Can you believe??? They tied their entire existance to their "stuff."
Oh no, not another one. I am very familiar with Central Florida, lived there off and on for more than 20 years (Seminole and Volusia Counties, worked in Orange County for a time). What neighborhood was it? That is terrible. The poor kids. Even the wife, although to some extent she had to contribute to the idiocy.
OMG, I got curious and just looked it up. Heathrow? I have been there many many times. I actually graduated from Lake Mary and my husband worked for Heathrow for a year or two back in the 80s. Yup, that is definitely a "Keep up with the Joneses" place. I remember that Goodings there right outside (I think it is gone now but I can't remember) actually had GOLD shopping carts. For crying out loud.
Oh no, not another one. I am very familiar with Central Florida, lived there off and on for more than 20 years (Seminole and Volusia Counties, worked in Orange County for a time). What neighborhood was it? That is terrible. The poor kids. Even the wife, although to some extent she had to contribute to the idiocy.
Heathrow, in one of the gated communities. I think the wife was a huge part of the problem.
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