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What do you tell yourself to prop up your spirits in these unemployed times? I am just thinking "how can I keep on sitting in this house day after day worrying about money and a job and health insurance?" I know I should try to be positive but I cannot seem to turn my thoughts around.
I worry about running out of money, losing my house due to some catastrophic medical event, worry about losing my insurance, running out of money due to having to pay such high premiums, but there is no way to get around it. All of this can just be paralyzing I find this paralyzing leads me to not want to pay bills, be late on bills, not keep up my house, etc. My electricity was almost turned off on Wed!
At any rate, it looks like (from my vantage) that certain unemployed CD posters seem to cope ok. What are your secrets?
Oh, and I should add, here is my plan. I am going to clean my house from top to bottom and then tell myself once I do this something good will happen at the end! I procrastinate and put everything off. I am just not coping well with the realities of this economy and my resume and ageism and all of the other stuff I mentioned above.
I don't think I'm 'coping okay'. I cry a lot. I am depressed most of the time. There are days I do nothing but sit at home going from one job site to another hoping a job will pop up that I can apply for. You just can't tell that from the posts I write.
Getting out of the house helps. I remind myself that I didn't do anything to deserve this situation and I'm doing everything I can to get out of it. I joined a local 'job hunter's support group' so I can spend an hour or two a week with other people who understand my situation.
I don't find that giving myself ultimatums or promises helps any. I can't force someone to give me a job before X date. I can't fool myself into believing that if I'm a good person who does good things I'll get a job. It just doesn't work that way, and pretending otherwise just sets me up for yet another disappointment.
I'm experiencing extreme reluctance to set myself up for another rejection...I'm almost paralyzed when it comes to applying...almost afraid I will be called for an interview and a second interview only to be rejected again. I'm coming up on 5 months unemployed. We all have to try to avoid the 6 month depression that often kicks in for the unemployed. For 20 years (same company since college graduation) I sat on the other side of this fence, not really trying that hard to emphasize with unemployed people. This layoff has opened my eyes to many new things. God bless us all and help us be strong during this trying time.
I know there are people going through things so much harder to deal with. I'm ashamed of myself for not pulling myself up by my bootstraps and shrugging off my fears and doing what I have to do.
Don't get the wrong idea, I'm still applying for jobs and I will go to ever single interview if it kills me. Hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving. It did me a lot of good to hear everyone at the dinner talking about issues in their lives....my problem didn't seem as severe, and I handled the "are you working yet" question with grace I think. Very humbling experience but I left the time with my family feeling better.
The only recourse we have now is to move out of this area and hope living somewhere with 'theoretically' more jobs will offer more opportunities.
I do know if I sit here I will NEVER get a job. In these rural places there is very little opportunity and anything 'good' seems to go to someone else. The last few jobs I have been called for are either 'temp' or 'very reduced hours.' (didn't get any of them.)
The last 3 jobs I could EASILY do. The requirements matched my education perfectly. However, 'someone else' got them.
My plan is to relocate, again. It means uprooting my son from school AGAIN but I can't wither away here looking at the scenery.
Once I get the chance to work again, I plan to become a workaholic. I've already told my husband that I plan to become a 'bread head' and make up for my lack of jobs in the past. If that means working 2 jobs I will.
So my plan is "apply for jobs in another state" and "learn Microsoft Office inside out" so I can become marketable at any office job. I have the experience, now I just need the opportunity. If we move, and he has a job, I will just get ANY job to make money, including retail.
get out and exercise!! Take a nice walk, look at the sun, the trees, the animals, the sounds. This helps its not the end of the world. Look tell your self this is a TEMPORARY situtation. Its not a life sentence to jail, you dont need an organ or a kidney donor, your not blind or ridden with cancer. I have lost my mother this year in August to cancer, my sister is blind and needs a kidney. If you want to trade your kidney for something substantial pm me. Your life is not that bad!!
I don't think I'm 'coping okay'. I cry a lot. I am depressed most of the time. There are days I do nothing but sit at home going from one job site to another hoping a job will pop up that I can apply for. You just can't tell that from the posts I write.
Getting out of the house helps. I remind myself that I didn't do anything to deserve this situation and I'm doing everything I can to get out of it. I joined a local 'job hunter's support group' so I can spend an hour or two a week with other people who understand my situation.
I don't find that giving myself ultimatums or promises helps any. I can't force someone to give me a job before X date. I can't fool myself into believing that if I'm a good person who does good things I'll get a job. It just doesn't work that way, and pretending otherwise just sets me up for yet another disappointment.
I do think a job support group is a great idea and you've reminded me I need to look into one here. There is one that meets a couple of times a month that I forgot about until your post.
I dunno. Yes, maybe it's not realistic to "fool" oneself, but isn't it better to tell yourself positive things even if they don't come true? Aren't the odds for something good happening better if one is positive?
get out and exercise!! Take a nice walk, look at the sun, the trees, the animals, the sounds. This helps its not the end of the world. Look tell your self this is a TEMPORARY situtation. Its not a life sentence to jail, you dont need an organ or a kidney donor, your not blind or ridden with cancer. I have lost my mother this year in August to cancer, my sister is blind and needs a kidney. If you want to trade your kidney for something substantial pm me. Your life is not that bad!!
I am sorry you have dealt with such blows and I do hope your sister finds a kidney and very soon. Yes, health is the #1 issue which is why I worry so dang much about having health insurance and why I am just praying healthcare reform comes soon.
My problem is my brain. It just plays tapes over and over of catastrophe. I fear if I don't get a handle on this that I WILL bring this on myself. This is why I am asking people what their secrets are - how they prop themselves up.
get out and exercise!! Take a nice walk, look at the sun, the trees, the animals, the sounds. This helps its not the end of the world. Look tell your self this is a TEMPORARY situtation. Its not a life sentence to jail, you dont need an organ or a kidney donor, your not blind or ridden with cancer. I have lost my mother this year in August to cancer, my sister is blind and needs a kidney. If you want to trade your kidney for something substantial pm me. Your life is not that bad!!
You're correct. Without your health, you have NOTHING. I am sorry for your problems and hope 2010 is a better year for your family.
I could write a small book on this topic. I am more or less a pretty positive person, but haven't always been that way. I had to learn how to do so.
A little background: in 2004, I lost my job that I truly loved and was exceptionally good at. I live in an area that is not known for a strong economy, but since we haven't had a boom, there's no bust either. At the time in 2004, it seemed to me that my mother's health was in sharp decline and that something was going to happen. I decided that I would take care of her as my "job" as there weren't a lot of options available at that time. I thought it would only be a temporary situation.
As her health declined, I learned more and more about provided health services, more about Medicare/Supplemental Ins/Medicaid than I ever wanted to know. I did things that I never dreamed that I would be capable of doing and did them well. This went on until 2008, when Mom had to go into a nursing home as it was nearly impossible for me to take care of her. However, I was at the nursing home on a daily basis, ensuring her care was top notch.
My mother passed away in April 2009. So the big question what would I do with my life? I am 52, all alone, no spouse, no significant other, and an only child to boot. About a year ago, I started to ponder this. I had always been employed in customer service oriented positions, and decided that health care is truly the ultimate in customer service. I considered a number of different options, and with much soul searching, decided to go back to school to be retrained as a Respiratory Therapist. (My mother had COPD, so it's a natural fit.). I've been taking classes since a few weeks after her passing in April, enjoying them, and doing well. In January, I start full time classes with completion in Dec 2011. This choice was not determined lightly, there was a lot of planning and effort that went into it, as well as a lot of effort yet to come to ensure success. But I'm looking forward to the future with confidence.
I've had a lot happen in the last few years that have been truly life altering. So I'm going to share some random thoughts on coping.
1. When times get tough, get tougher. My parents were both children of the Depression and a lot of their determination was instilled with me.
2. I've always hated this phrase, but I'm going to use it as the concept is ok, but not the hackeyned phrase. "Think outside the box." I'll go one better, there is NO box. The only boxes are: the ones you put around yourself, and the one you go into when you go 6 ft under. In the meantime, open yourself to new challenges. Believe me, they are out there. Don't let the others define you. Don't let the past define you. Only you in the present define you.
3. Managing stress and depression. We all feel stressed and depressed from time to time. Get up and move. Change your scenery. Go for a walk (it's free!). Do something nice for someone else--make a simple meal for someone worse off than you. I like your idea of cleaning your house top to bottom Movin on. Good idea. When in doubt, do something, do anything.
4. Being positive seems to bring more positive things into your life. I think there might be something to the concept that like attracts like. Being positive at least makes you project a confident vibe.
5. Pray. During the last 5 years, I've gotten a lot more spiritual. It does help me.
I could sit around feeling sorry for myself but that would only make matters worse. Quite frankly, right now I feel better about myself than I have in years.
Its not a life sentence to jail, you dont need an organ or a kidney donor, your not blind or ridden with cancer.
It isn't wise to make assumptions about people. If I only had a dollar for every time someone said "well at least you have your health".....Really? I do? How do you know that? Unemployment doesn't only strike healthy people.
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I find this paralyzing leads me to not want to pay bills, be late on bills, not keep up my house, etc. My electricity was almost turned off on Wed! 
