I Remember

Thomas walked down the street, hands in his pockets, concentrating on the pavement ahead of him. A simple aluminum can lie still on its side waiting for Thomas. “Klack, klack, klack,” the can rolled down an alley. Thomas used his amusement to follow the can and silently approached again as if stalking his prey, “klack, klack, klack.” The can ricocheted off a piece of plywood protruding from the rubbish mounds along the side of the alley. This time, Thomas would have to make an effort and deviate from his path to attack the can again. “Klack, klack, klack.” Thomas had his sights set on venting his curiosity out on such a miniscule and flimsy piece of aluminum. This time, it rolled further down the alley and this time Thomas took two quick steps as he neared it only to jump in the air and smash down on it. The can crumpled, creased and crinkled under the massive force applied to it. It hardly resembled the round, oblong object he’d just previously toyed with. It was completely deformed and lost all functionality as a proper kicking tool. Feeling foolish and childish, Thomas turned to walk away and finish the journey to wherever it was he was headed on this day.

The day in question was a weird day. If such an inappropriate word could best be used to describe the weather patterns of this day, “bipolar” was surely the word to use. Torrential downpours of rain came quickly only to immediately be followed by crystal clear, bright blue skies. Then the rain would come quickly down again. The thunderheads, as some would call them, would foam and crackle at the mouth only to unleash a rather powerful but short-lived rainfall. Of course, the cheery day would soon rise in its stead and rainbows would peek their way into the broad daylight - such as it was when Thomas was in the alley.

As Thomas turned to flee from the ravaged can, his foot brushed a boot. With a slight resonance behind it, Thomas could sense the boot belonged to a foot. As common sense would tell someone, the foot belonged to a leg and the leg to a body. Accompanied with Thomas’ accidental intrusion came a low groan. “Hmmmm?” Is all it said. At least, that’s what it sounded like to Thomas. He looked down to see a woman. Dirty and grimy are words that would barely satiate such a depiction. Her long straggly gray hair stuck out from the tight-knit winter cap she wore. Her olive-drab coat, stained with the muck of countless alleyways and sewers draped her body as though it were her favorite possession. The gloves on her hands looked as though they’d been eaten by moths and rats.

At first, Thomas was scared. He’d never seen such a horribly defiled human being in his life. He’d heard of these kinds of people before and he even had the name for it in his vocabulary though he had no recollection of where that definition came from. “Bum” was the word but there was something about the woman that despite her reprehensible appearance did not fit the picture of a bum. At least, Thomas figured he should know what a bum would look like and though he thought he’d found a rather intriguing specimen of bum, something struck him about this person that did not seem bum-like.

Thomas stood over her with more of a curious gaze than anything. He finally got the courage to ask, “Ma’am, you alright down there?” This was a curious question for the woman as it’d been so long since anyone had even thought to ask her condition much less call her “Ma’am.” She was well aware of the dangers of being found by a young man. The fear, in this case, wasn’t rape. No one would rape a woman like her. At least, that was her opinion. No, the fear resided around the young man and whether or not he had friends. Some young men got a kick out of beating up bums. Usually it happened to the male bums but once in a while the women bums got beat up to.

“What’s it to ya’'?” She half-shrieked, half-croaked. “Well, ma’am, I just saw you layin’ there and figured it ain’t no place for no one to be at,” Thomas replied kindly. “Well, ya’ gotsta figure it out,” she replied. Thomas didn’t quite understand what this meant and, being the innocent person he was, asked a different form of question. “You wanna get up from there or you wanna stay all day? You hungry? I got me a few dollars; I can go get us some burgers and we can sit an’ eat here if you like.” At this barrage of questioning, she didn’t know whether to trust him or take him up on the offer.

Hunger has a unique way of convincing people to do things they would normally trust their instincts to lead them away from. It’s an irony of the human condition. Food is needed to survive but hunger dictates the risk taking probabilities of what is or isn’t acceptable. It can often be mistaken for greed if perceived incorrectly. But greed has the unique characteristic of being able to make many people hungry for the stuffing and fulfillment of a single evil soul.

“What your name, boy?” She said to him while realizing her speech didn’t really sound as clear and eloquent as it once had. It’d been so long since she’d spoken to someone. “Name’s Thomas, ma’am. Now, how ‘bout them burgers? I can go run ‘round the corner real quick and fetch ‘em.” She looked at him with a very vague sense of familiarity, smiled, and said “Alright, well go on. Git us some burgers!”

Thomas rounded the corner oblivious to the kind thing he was about to do for such a human being. He was naïve in a lot of ways and just wanted to be friendly. He saw in her an opportunity to make a friend. He’d never had many friends and he wondered what it’d be like to have one like her.

As she watched him round the corner, the scraggly haired woman thought to herself of distant years past - years she could have changed and years she looked back on without an understanding of what she could have changed. She thought to herself, “I remember my son. I remember the way he used to cry in my arms and sob for my protection. I remember nurturing him and caring for him and soothing his cries. I remember his tantrums and his crankiness when he was just a small child. I remember how much it would bother me but how patient and understanding I was for his needs. I remember just how special he was to me. I remember everything about him and he’ll always be right here in my heart. I remember my son and how he started to grow up. I remember when he first crawled and then when he walked. I remember when he used to cry when he fell down on those first feeble attempts and how scared he used to be after taking them. I remember encouraging him the way that mother’s do. I remember holding him up to help him walk. I remember when he could stand up straight and walk on his own. I remember when he fell down and began to cry again. I remember that when he looked at me, he’d never forget me. I remember that he’ll always be in my heart. I remember when they took him away from me. I remember the scared look on his face. I remember him forever.”

At the final moment of this thought passing through her, Thomas turned the corner with a big smile on his face. “I got them burgers, ma’am but I gotta eat kinda quick. I’m runnin’ late as it is. Anyways, looks like it’s ‘bout to rain again.”

She looked at him deeply in the eyes and said to him, “Well, ya’ sit here if ya’ like. Plenty room. But, you best hurry, ain’t ya’ parents gonna worry where you’s at?” Thomas, in the middle of his burger said, “Ain’t got no parents, ma’am. Just an orphan. They came and took me away from my Momma right after I learned to walk.”