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I a am not sure if I am adopting the sibling set of three that I first spoke about a moth ago. Another family might be adopting them.
We are most likely going to host them first. A lot will depend on the situation. I know they will be from Ukraine, and chances are, they will be in care because their birth parents were deprived of parental rights because of abuse, neglect or both. We will be adopting at least two, a boy and a girl.
If you don't mind my asking, what country did you abopt from? Why did you chose the names of Saints for your children?
It's an interesting choice.It wouldn't be mine though because Saints are not big in my religion.
The names we chose may or may not be from their culture. Whether or not we use any part or form of the name will depend on how well the name fits into their new culture. Certain names just don't work well.
I have said before if their names are Igor and Nastya ( lends itself to being called Nasty -not a good connotation) or Olga a name that songs pretty unattractive to American ears then, no.
Russian people have no middle name they have instead a Patronymic. This is a name that is created by the father's first name say Boris and boys the addition of "ovitch" meaning son of ot "ovna" daughter of.
So Anna daughter of Boris is" Anna Borisovna".
We would not be keeping the Patronymic for the reason that it is a legal name that links them to a former parent. A parent who was deprived of parental rights. I think that most older adoptees we have met want a new first name. All of the ones we know adopted from Eastern Europe do.A fresh start. They want to fit in.
Names do have a psychological impact on kids, and we are sensitive to that.. Of course they will be asked their opinion. If they do not want our opinion, it might signal that they don't want to be adopted at all. Or that they are very set in thir ways or are longing for a relative to step forward to take them in.Some older Eastern European kids don't want to be adopted.We don't want to force them to be adopted.
While they are here, we will take them to a psychologist from their country who will be able to clarify these issues. I know of two such psychologists, and many families who used each. All of the children are doing well and all but one have different names to different degrees,than they arrived with.
Any one who knows me at all would know I'll not be sitting a child down in a chair and screaming "Your name will be Laura and you'd better learn to like it with all we have dome for you, young lady!"
However, I am learning something from all of this. I can not stress how different domestic adoptions, and domestic adoptees seem to be from IA kids.
We plan to adopt from Russia, and we chose names of saints because we're Catholic. All of our children will have saints' names.
I think you might be projecting your own feelings onto other people just a touch here. Do you really know if Sheena exposed her daughter to Korean culture or not, or are you just assuming she didn't? Neither you, nor I, nor anyone else, can really know for sure how every Korean, or internationally-adopted adoptee feels about their name, and why. Everyone is different.
Well, obviously no one can know EVERY adoptee, but I do know a lot of Korean adoptees. I do draw from my own experience and many others as well that have been in the exact same position. It seems ludicrous to me that you think that you have to know how EVERY adoptee feels to have an opinion? How many do you know? Please read my post. I never said she didn't. Maybe you should let her talk for herself? I am not projecting my feelings onto her daughter, I was giving friendly advice.
This is one, of many, reasons we will not adopt out of foster care.
No one is forcing you to "adopt outside of the foster system" it's totally up to you! Adopt within the faoster system if that's what makes you happy and is good for your family!
The US Foster Care system is not for me and not for many others though.
The existing rules make it VERY ADOPTIVE FAMILY UNFRIENDLY! So we prefer to adopt Internationally.
If you don't respect us for our choices, then just leave us alone! If you are truly a child advocate you should be glad that some children somewhere are being adopted!
No one is forcing you to "adopt outside of the foster system" it's totally up to you! Adopt within the faoster system if that's what makes you happy and is good for your family!
The poster didn't say that s/he WOULD adopt from foster care, but rather that adoption from foster care was NOT an option.
Well, obviously no one can know EVERY adoptee, but I do know a lot of Korean adoptees. I do draw from my own experience and many others as well that have been in the exact same position. It seems ludicrous to me that you think that you have to know how EVERY adoptee feels to have an opinion? How many do you know? Please read my post. I never said she didn't. Maybe you should let her talk for herself? I am not projecting my feelings onto her daughter, I was giving friendly advice.
I'm here and I can speak for myself it=f there is anything that you want to ask. Nimpchimpsky is a friend and did not say anything incomsistant with what I believe or with my daughters wishes. She likes her name - the one that we gave her and has no fesire to be called the name giver to her by the goster mother.
No one is forcing you to "adopt outside of the foster system" it's totally up to you! Adopt within the faoster system if that's what makes you happy and is good for your family!
The US Foster Care system is not for me and not for many others though.
The existing rules make it VERY ADOPTIVE FAMILY UNFRIENDLY! So we prefer to adopt Internationally.
If you don't respect us for our choices, then just leave us alone! If you are truly a child advocate you should be glad that some children somewhere are being adopted!
PSR13 was actually agreeing with you and supporting you.
I'm here and I can speak for myself it=f there is anything that you want to ask. Nimpchimpsky is a friend and did not say anything incomsistant with what I believe or with my daughters wishes. She likes her name - the one that we gave her and has no fesire to be called the name giver to her by the goster mother.
You didn't say how old she was, but I am guessing she hasn't hit the teen years yet. I just hope that when the day comes where she wants to explore/has questions about her identity, past, heritage and yes, her name, that you will be open and supportive of her questions and choices. I think I saw in a previous post that you wanted a child with no attachment to the family of origin (the only way to accomplish that would be to have your own biological children).
I think it will be very difficult for you to be open to her wanting to know about her past. She may sense that already depending on her age. Maybe when the day comes, you will think back to this thread.
Well, obviously no one can know EVERY adoptee, but I do know a lot of Korean adoptees. I do draw from my own experience and many others as well that have been in the exact same position. It seems ludicrous to me that you think that you have to know how EVERY adoptee feels to have an opinion? How many do you know? Please read my post. I never said she didn't. Maybe you should let her talk for herself? I am not projecting my feelings onto her daughter, I was giving friendly advice.
Your post read as pretty accusatory. Maybe that's not how you meant it but it seemed to come across that way. It definitely didn't sound friendly, IMO.
The poster didn't say that s/he WOULD adopt from foster care, but rather that adoption from foster care was NOT an option.
Oh sorry I miss read "Out of". But the answer still stands for people who want to tell others what to or not to do. My mistake.
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