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I am not able to go into extended family's homes and do whatever I want.
I appreciate the heads up that this could be a significant problem. I'll keep it in mind, as I do have the capacity to provide help to my elderly relatives and wish to do so. Thanks for making me aware of the issue.
I appreciate the heads up that this could be a significant problem. I'll keep it in mind, as I do have the capacity to provide help to my elderly relatives and wish to do so. Thanks for making me aware of the issue.
Good luck and do report back!
With my elderly uncle (now gone), he was addicted to throw rugs. It was a real fight getting him to give those up (slip and fall hazards) - he also balked at shower safety bars, etc. - and he had a dog who liked to go potty on his very large braided rug. It was a very smelly environment, but he was oblivious to it and we had to be very careful not to insult him or his way of living.
The respiratory stuff to me is very frustrating because there is an obvious solution - and that is get rid of all carpets (or steam clean constantly and make people take shoes off), clean everything within an inch of its life, wash pillows, blankets, and sheets regularly - and make sure air is clean and circulating (I had read sometime back that some of the air filter machines actually CAUSE lung problems - I don't know if that has been fixed).
Another aspect to consider. How the message is given. Example:
My elderly dad lived alone for many years. After my mother died he had a housecleaner who came in once a week to do the basics he simply had no interest in doing. I say "interest" for good reason. He was still fastidious about his own care and a few other things that really mattered to him; almost obsessive, including dealing with household garbage/trash pickup scheduling, preventing food odors, caring for his beloved trash compactor, the dishwasher, and keeping his underwear white. He would shower and shave religiously but never clean the shower or the sink. This was a highly educated, intelligent man who certainly understood why cleanliness could matter in terms of staying healthy.
Years went by. He became more and more of a miser (no reason to be), so he refused to pay someone to take care of the house. Did he do the work himself? No. It simply didn't get done. The place became dustier, more cluttered, unkempt. His vision was poor by then so part of it was he simply couldn't see it. The place was eventually pretty bad. Bathroom grimy, Cupboards full of stale buggy food, more science experiments in the fridge that made him sick, spiders, ants, mice evidence everywhere. the whole place generally run down. The weird thing was he was still interested in those same few things and his weekly schedule revolved around them. Was this routine? Comfort in those routines? Mere habitual thinking? Or truly knowing why they were necessary? I have my doubts. It had nothing to do with not understanding the health implications of living in dust, dirt, mold, bacteria, or other hazards. For him, he was rigorously determined to do exactly what he'd always done in exactly the same way. NO ONE could convince him to change anything. The more anyone tried, the more he resisted.
Now to the messenger part. Obviously his kids were concerned about this decline. None of us lived in the same state, so none of us were around that often. On visits we became accustomed to spend the entire time cleaning, repairing, replacing something. As long as we didn't touch those little beloved routines he let it happen. One daughter kept lecturing him about the mess, harping, providing all sorts of information about everything he was doing wrong, leaving little articles about health hazards right where he couldn't miss them. Bringing the conversations around to all the hazards he was exposing himself to. All it resulting in were fights. All it did was stiffen his resistance to changing anything.
Refusing to recognize the problem had very little to do with ignorance or lack of understanding. It had everything to do with control and self-determination. Attack that, either by ignoring that basic right or browbeating/preaching him about it and nothing would improve. The fact that someone else was attempting to tell him what to do for his own good was the problem, not the knowledge.
Apologies for the long tirade. It takes two to communicate anything. One to speak of course, but the other to hear. Find why they are unwilling to hear and you'll probably get through.
Another aspect to consider. How the message is given. Example:
My elderly dad lived alone for many years. After my mother died he had a housecleaner who came in once a week to do the basics he simply had no interest in doing. I say "interest" for good reason. He was still fastidious about his own care and a few other things that really mattered to him; almost obsessive, including dealing with household garbage/trash pickup scheduling, preventing food odors, caring for his beloved trash compactor, the dishwasher, and keeping his underwear white. He would shower and shave religiously but never clean the shower or the sink. This was a highly educated, intelligent man who certainly understood why cleanliness could matter in terms of staying healthy.
Years went by. He became more and more of a miser (no reason to be), so he refused to pay someone to take care of the house. Did he do the work himself? No. It simply didn't get done. The place became dustier, more cluttered, unkempt. His vision was poor by then so part of it was he simply couldn't see it. The place was eventually pretty bad. Bathroom grimy, Cupboards full of stale buggy food, more science experiments in the fridge that made him sick, spiders, ants, mice evidence everywhere. the whole place generally run down. The weird thing was he was still interested in those same few things and his weekly schedule revolved around them. Was this routine? Comfort in those routines? Mere habitual thinking? Or truly knowing why they were necessary? I have my doubts. It had nothing to do with not understanding the health implications of living in dust, dirt, mold, bacteria, or other hazards. For him, he was rigorously determined to do exactly what he'd always done in exactly the same way. NO ONE could convince him to change anything. The more anyone tried, the more he resisted.
Now to the messenger part. Obviously his kids were concerned about this decline. None of us lived in the same state, so none of us were around that often. On visits we became accustomed to spend the entire time cleaning, repairing, replacing something. As long as we didn't touch those little beloved routines he let it happen. One daughter kept lecturing him about the mess, harping, providing all sorts of information about everything he was doing wrong, leaving little articles about health hazards right where he couldn't miss them. Bringing the conversations around to all the hazards he was exposing himself to. All it resulting in were fights. All it did was stiffen his resistance to changing anything.
Refusing to recognize the problem had very little to do with ignorance or lack of understanding. It had everything to do with control and self-determination. Attack that, either by ignoring that basic right or browbeating/preaching him about it and nothing would improve. The fact that someone else was attempting to tell him what to do for his own good was the problem, not the knowledge.
Apologies for the long tirade. It takes two to communicate anything. One to speak of course, but the other to hear. Find why they are unwilling to hear and you'll probably get through.
I understand what you are saying about someone being set in their routine, but question the bolded. If he truly understood the health and safety implications of living in filth, if he was a rational person, he probably would have become enlightened. I don't think some people grasp the actual implications - sounds like he thought that his routine had served him all of those years and he was going to continue to live life out on his terms (without any awareness or consideration to negative consequences).
I understand what you are saying about someone being set in their routine, but question the bolded. If he truly understood the health and safety implications of living in filth, if he was a rational person, he probably would have become enlightened. I don't think some people grasp the actual implications - sounds like he thought that his routine had served him all of those years and he was going to continue to live life out on his terms (without any awareness or consideration to negative consequences).
How does one "enlighten" someone who does not want to be "enlightened"?
Once he is "enlightened", how do you make him clean if he cannot see the dirt or is physically unable to do the cleaning and is unwilling to pay someone else to do it?
How does one "enlighten" someone who does not want to be "enlightened"?
Once he is "enlightened", how do you make him clean if he cannot see the dirt or is physically unable to do the cleaning and is unwilling to pay someone else to do it?
No one said anything about making anyone do anything, including being "enlightened." I was just giving possible context.
Anyway, the point of THIS thread, posted in the "Alternative Medicine" portion of the Health and Wellness section (because it would not be tolerated alone in that section), is that some people are not aware that cleanliness affects their health, in particular, their respiratory health. Some people do not grasp that and will not clean things that would help them breathe better.
Some people don't know they should wash pillows and blankets and sheets in hot water or that filth trapped in carpets and drapes are particles that can affect respiration.
No one said anything about making anyone do anything, including being "enlightened." I was just giving possible context.
Anyway, the point of THIS thread, posted in the "Alternative Medicine" portion of the Health and Wellness section (because it would not be tolerated alone in that section), is that some people are not aware that cleanliness affects their health, in particular, their respiratory health. Some people do not grasp that and will not clean things that would help them breathe better.
Some people don't know they should wash pillows and blankets and sheets in hot water or that filth trapped in carpets and drapes are particles that can affect respiration.
It's very simple.
Your original post specifically mentioned "old people who live amongst actual grime on surfaces, filthy carpets with all kinds of stuff in the fibers, old blankets and pillows that have never been washed, sheets that are rarely washed, etc."
I explained that there are reasons "old people" may do that, specifically vision problems and frailty.
My MIL lived in a two story house with the laundry in the cellar and the bedrooms on the second floor. Doing laundry would have been problematic if she lived alone. Fortunately, her son lived with her.
It does not matter if you live in an environment "that can affect respiration" if you cannot see the dirt or are physically unable to do anything about it.
Edited to add: the issue of dementia has not been addressed here at all. Some folks with that resist even bathing and changing clothes.
The point of my post was simply to state that cleanliness affects health. That's it.
The example of old people was a convenient example.
They don't have to be old, though and it doesn't matter WHY they are not cleaning (from the perspective of the gist of the post which is just that cleanliness affects health). Some people do not KNOW that.
It's not just elderly people that do this. My son wouldn't change his sheets for months if I didn't insist AND his daughter has asthma. The other one admitted to me recently he only changes them once a month. I guess some of them figure if they can't see actual "dirt" than it is clean enough for them. I washed everybody's sheets once a week when they were young so you would think they would pick up a little of that from me. But nope.
I had a favorite feather down pillow and even that got washed twice a year. Took forever to dry but I'm a bit of a fanatic about my sheets, pillows, blankets, etc. I won't even buy a comforter that can't be machine washed.
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