How do you handle in-laws who claim you are a demon proxy? (believe, Jesus)

[Eggbeater Bliss]

The following discourse took place between me and an in-law on facebook in regard to a picture I posted on my wall of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. It resulted in my “unfriending” her because she would not stop, but I feel I could have handled it better and would like feedback.

• Eggbeater Bliss 10 am on a Saturday morning two older ladies selling bible education classes felt it was perfectly okay to walk on to my property uninvited and ask sweetly if they woke me up. I was so good I did not try to indoctrinate them on the holiness of his noodleyness The Flying Spaghetti Monster. I did, however slam the door.
• In-Law "I was so good I did not try to indoctrinate them on the holiness of his noodleyness The Flying Spaghetti Monster." What will one say to the Divine Lover of our immortal and beloved souls AKA the Living God of the Universe, when one experiences the "Four Last things" upon one's death? I'm so very sorry My Lord and My God, for blaspheming and mocking you - it was a momentary loss of reason on FB? P.S., Lily, I'm, truly, sorry the ladies woke you up early, on a Saturday, no less
• Friend I don't think she was mocking per say, book club had a very interesting discussion that there is a religion dedicated to flying spaghetti or something like that and that kids in a school were allowed to write a paper on it. No matter what my religion or my faith, I don't want anyone coming to my door preaching or selling theirs. I may have had the same thoughts she did about spaghetti monsters. Way to restrain yourself, next time offer them ravioli as you preach about the sin of noodles.
• Eggbeater Bliss If there is a God I hope He/She/It has more important worldly concerns than my snarky facebook posts. However, I did not mean to offend you. Love & respect.
• In-Law Lily, you are always and I mean always on the Divine Lover's Mind; you NEVER depart from His thoughts or His Heart, EVER. Your blasphemy, which is the greatest sin one may perpetrate upon His Person both deeply grieves and offends Him. Lily, you spit in the Face of Love Incarnate - the One Who created you in Love and wishes you to return to Him in Love. Love and respect back to you, dear Lily. Now I'm off to tackle my late lunch - hope to catch up with you later!
• Eggbeater Bliss How about we just agree to disagree. Please let it go! Omg I'm causing drama on fb!


• In-Law Yep, there is nothing like the Solemnity of the Most Holy Trinity to really get the demons raging - you do good work for them - Lily. One day they truly hope to thank you, in person......
• Eggbeater Bliss It's a picture of pasta. I have a right to post whatever I want on MY wall. I don't complain about your bleeding Jesus pictures or your homophobic remarks because that is YOUR wall. My beliefs are not the same as yours. You're going to have to accept that and stop posting embarrassing crap on my wall or go away!
• In-Law Oh Lilly, you're such a good little foot soldier - kudos to you! I'll give you that my dear The demons love their proxies to be unquestioning and to embrace the vices of ignorance, arrogance and callous blasphemy; and they have found a gem in you, fair Lilly. They intend to use and abuse you in this life and the next; why - because they can - you have invited them in and they NEVER pass up an invitation. They OWN you, and you'll dance to their terrifying malevolent tune all the while believing you are free and enlightened. How utterly tragic and heart breaking
• Eggbeater Bliss Buh bye now!
• In-Law Buh bye - sweetie!
• Eggbeater Bliss I do hope everyone enjoyed that theatrical performance of "Why Thorazine is not for Sissies." It's what happened when you are obligated to friend in-laws. For what it's worth, I think it matters more what a person does rather than what they believe. I find the faith that some people have beautiful and enviable while others make me want to worship pasta.

[BIMBAM]

Dear "God" this makes me happy I don't have any very religious people on my facebook. AND that I live in an apartment complex so people can't solicit at my door. My deepest sympathies over that awful drama. I think you handled it well enough, can't blame you for losing your cool when she started in on the bat**** rant.

[Mantronix4204]

Eggbeater Bliss, I'm sorry you have this element in your life. I'm not trying to pry, but I'm curious to know In-Law's age and religious affiliation. How often do you see In-Law? Do you two have a history of sparring over religion? What are your spouse's views about In-Law's views?

I ask because based solely on her words, I don't sense that she was trying to be rude to you or wouldn't stop. I don't pretend to know you or your in-law. Obviously, you know better how to read any subtle, snide remarks. She doesn't really get remotely mean, if you will, until her last post about demons. But in reading it, it could be read that she's just speaking generally, perhaps even with a tone that she cares for you. In other words, you may not need to interpret her words as a personal attack on you. Again, I don't know her or her style. She could be genuine or quite the b*tch.

As an Atheist who has practically no interaction with religious people, I have a very low tolerance for these types of exchanges; however, in this case, In-Law doesn't seem to be on the attack. The words of your in-law sound like the standard religious gibberish, and unless you two have a terrible history, she may not be attacking you. She may have a genuine, albeit twisted and distorted, concern for you. But I'm not saying that I know her intentions.

Fwiw, it's unfortunate that you have to deal with this at all. I understand why you might have little patience for these exchanges, and I wish you all the best with it. In the future, it may be best to simply choose to not engage, as best you can. I understand she's an in-law. So, be polite and courteous, but just keep your distance.

Finally, it's your decision to unfriend her, but if this was the first exchange like this between you two, your decision to unfriend her may have been an extreme reaction to the situation, and it may send a stronger message than you meant to send. I don't know how this may affect the dynamics of you, your spouse, and In-Law. If these exchanges have happened many times in the past, then I'm happy for you for putting an end to it.

[Eggbeater Bliss]

Originally Posted by Mantronix4204

Eggbeater Bliss, I'm sorry you have this element in your life. I'm not trying to pry, but I'm curious to know In-Law's age and religious affiliation. How often do you see In-Law? Do you two have a history of sparring over religion? What are your spouse's views about In-Law's views?

Pry away!
She is a Catholic in her 40s, never been married, and is practically a nun. Oddly enough I've never met her in person. She is my husband’s cousin and I felt obligated to accept her friend request because she’s “family.” She isn’t an important person in my life, just someone I tried to be friendly with for my husband’s sake. I was shocked that someone could actually believe this stuff and have the audacity to post it publicly on my wall. I may have overreacted.
I have many friends from all walks of life with varying beliefs but none of them ever try to shove God down my little agnostic throat. My husband is a conservative Christian and I am and uber-liberal agnostic. We manage to get along really well and as a result I am normally more tolerant of differing viewpoints. He laughed at what she said and told me to “unfriend” her. I was hesitant to do it at first because I don’t want to cause any rifts in already dysfunctional family, but after several comments I felt she gave me no choice.
You may be right—I should not have engaged. I started out the conversation kowtowing to her and biting my tongue but she relentlessly plagued me with her beliefs. It is my wall and I feel I have the right to post whatever I please on my wall, as does everyone else. I eventually became angry and childish in my responses. I have trouble stifling my opinions in general. It actually hurts.
Thank you for your insight!

[Mantronix4204]

Oh, wow. Your response changes how I see this.

First, I wrongly assumed "in-law" meant someone much closer, such as a mother-in-law. Given that she's just a cousin who you've never met, it's really not as significant to end communication with her, IMO.

Second, knowing that your husband said to unfriend her is good to know. I'm glad it didn't create any problems between you and him.

Third, I'm surprised she's in her 40s, only because her words, in my mind, read like someone much, much older. Perhaps I simply don't spend much time with people like her. I tend to agree with you that it's hard to believe that people truly hold these views and see the world the way they do.

Next, I don't think you overreacted or were childish in your responses. I agree with you that it's your Facebook page, and you're free to write whatever you like. And you're allowed to get angry when people impose their religious beliefs on you. Don't ever feel guilty for getting angry about that. My only point was that just based on her words, I didn't read them that she was attacking you. To me, her responses read like the standard type of response: Don't blaspheme God; Don't let demons control you, etc.

I thought your responses were fine. I could sense the playfulness in your words. My advice to disengage was for future conversations. You handled yourself better than I probably would have. Take comfort knowing that to you, the conversation meant nothing, whereas to her, the conversation has deep significance. They're serious about these things, demons and all that, as best I can tell.

[mordant]

This is a classic case of TIFS (Total Internet F--kwad Syndrome) -- where anonymity plus an audience turns a relatively normal person in to a jerk. I doubt she would be that overtly toxic in person, or if you were a close relative. She had nothing to lose and so she unloaded her ample fund of pent-up rage and hatred. Normally it would just leak around the edges a little but she'd be too much of a coward to give voice to it. Although this does provide a good peek behind the curtain of what many conservative theists actually think and wish they could get away with saying.

I think you handled it fine. That which is ridiculous is worthy of ridicule.

Well, at least she has not bore any children. The world will be better off.

[TimeMachine]

Step one: Thank your lucky stars they are not in a position of control or authority over you!

[hiker45]

Originally Posted by Eggbeater Bliss

• Eggbeater Bliss 10 am on a Saturday morning two older ladies selling bible education classes felt it was perfectly okay to walk on to my property uninvited and ask sweetly if they woke me up. I was so good I did not try to indoctrinate them on the holiness of his noodleyness The Flying Spaghetti Monster. I did, however slam the door.

I think you should not have made a post like that on Facebook.

You know that many people are religious and some of them take their religion very seriously. Facebook is a website that helps us stay informed about people we care about. It is not a website that should be used to voice controversial opinions that get people upset.

[Mantronix4204]

Originally Posted by hiker45

I think you should not have made a post like that on Facebook.

You know that many people are religious and some of them take their religion very seriously. Facebook is a website that helps us stay informed about people we care about. It is not a website that should be used to voice controversial opinions that get people upset.

So you're suggesting that Christians and other religious zealots should take down all their Facebook posts that promote religion and upset Atheists, and other normal people. I agree with you.