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I was raised Lutheran and only baptized my kids because it was important to my mom and grandparents. We rarely went to church and after they grew up I realized I no longer believed.
That is another way for her to say she is "culturally Catholic", which is not a particularly unusual thing.
Technically, agnosticism isn't about not being sure there's no god, or reaching some level of thinking it to be unlikely. It is the understanding that gods, since they are asserted and not proven, and aren't even part of the natural world, aren't just unknown, but are unknowABLE to creatures of that natural world. As soon as the spiritual interacts with the natural world then it becomes part of it anyway. So agnosticism, as originally conceived by Huxley, is a response to the basic intellectual premise of the sort of theism where god is located outside of the natural realm. It doesn't really contemplate pan(en)theism where god more or less IS the natural realm.
That said, the use of the term "agnostic" has devolved to the point now where it has become in the minds of all too many people synonymous with a sort of assumedly virtuous non-dogmatic / centrist position of "maybe and maybe not".
I am the former sort of agnostic and not the latter, and as such I regard agnosticism as my knowledge position and atheism as my belief position. They influence each other but are really about different things. Hence I, and others, regard ourselves as "agnostic atheists".
I point all this out so you can locate yourself in this rather confusing stew of knowledge and belief claims, not to really argue with you about which is better or best.
As to your actual question -- the proximal reason for my exit from my faith tradition (evangelical / fundamentalist Christianity) had a lot to do with my need to put an end to the painful cognitive dissonance between the expectations my beliefs had set and my lived experience. It was after I ejected myself from that system and began to actually THINK about why I believed and what else (if anything) I might believe instead, that I realized that it was assertions all the way down, and that most religion recognizable to me suffered from the same problem. In that sense I guess it kind of took me by surprise too.
Many people follow your path -- kind of holding loosely to faith and have it fade away -- and many follow my path -- holding fairly tightly to faith and having it just Not Work and then it just, as Hitchens had it, "disappears in a puff of logic". There are other paths out of it as well.
If this is a way to reduce or eliminate the confusion between being an agnostic or an atheist or an agnostic atheist, it's not working for me.
"I regard agnosticism as my knowledge position and atheism as my belief position." I've got to think a little more about this one too...
I was raised Lutheran and only baptized my kids because it was important to my mom and grandparents. We rarely went to church and after they grew up I realized I no longer believed.
My son just got married in Canada. Beautiful Banff, Canada...
Not a religious ceremony. Very soon he and she will tie the official knot at City Hall. In many cases marriage is for the sake of the kids. My new daughter-in-law's mother is extremely religious however. Catholic, and for her my son and daughter-in-law will get married yet again. In a Catholic church, with a priest and the "whole nine yards." Neither my son or DIL are religious, so in this case it's marriage for one's mother. Makes you kind of wonder what these ceremonies mean when they are done for the sake of others.
My son just got married in Canada. Beautiful Banff, Canada...
Not a religious ceremony. Very soon he and she will tie the official knot at City Hall. In many cases marriage is for the sake of the kids. My new daughter-in-law's mother is extremely religious however. Catholic, and for her my son and daughter-in-law will get married yet again. In a Catholic church, with a priest and the "whole nine yards." Neither my son or DIL are religious, so in this case it's marriage for one's mother. Makes you kind of wonder what these ceremonies mean when they are done for the sake of others.
It doesn't mean anything, just rituals and pomp and circumstance. That's really selfish of the mother-in-law, imo. In my will, I have strongly requested that I be cremated and no funeral. I want a 'celebration of life' and that's it. How much you want to bet that I do not get cremated and they throw me a funeral? "oh, she just didn't know what she wanted". Well hell yeah I know what I want but it's all about what is good for the people left behind. I won't know, but I can guarantee that's what will happen.
Congratulations to your son and new daughter-in-law even if they have to get married 12 times.
It doesn't mean anything, just rituals and pomp and circumstance. That's really selfish of the mother-in-law, imo. In my will, I have strongly requested that I be cremated and no funeral. I want a 'celebration of life' and that's it. How much you want to bet that I do not get cremated and they throw me a funeral? "oh, she just didn't know what she wanted". Well hell yeah I know what I want but it's all about what is good for the people left behind. I won't know, but I can guarantee that's what will happen.
Congratulations to your son and new daughter-in-law even if they have to get married 12 times.
Doesn't mean anything to some people. Obviously does to others...
My son and DIL are plenty okay to accommodate her mother's wishes, and I'm glad to say her side of the family and mine get along real well. Sometimes we all just need to be easy-going and understanding of others, and when no one really minds either way, so be it. Of course for the mother, it's all about ensuring a marriage and grandkids that benefit from the church's blessings. Real or imagined. For her very real, and keeping the mother satisfied in this way is a consideration of her feelings and ultimately the best way to just "keep the peace" easily enough. I hear there are plans to baptize four children at the same gathering.
My wife and I got married by a priest, in a church, with plenty of the religious trappings that for an atheist like me didn't mean what they do to religious people, but back then I didn't even think about not getting married in a church. Truth be told, we got married there, because we witnessed a previous wedding of some friends of ours, and we couldn't believe how beautiful a church it was. We felt lucky to get a date for our wedding there too. We only had to get married once, but that once was plenty good enough for all purposes; beautiful, romantic and practical for all attending.
Sorry you are concerned your wishes won't be honored. I'm not sure I've ever heard of people not treating their loved ones as requested upon their death, though knowing how some people can be about their beliefs regardless of others, I'm sure it happens. Whatever happens in your case, here's hoping it doesn't happen sooner rather than later. As circumstances would have it, we're off to SoCal tomorrow to attend a celebration of life on Sunday. He's being buried I think.
To that end, cheers and time for me to sign off from this forum now. Best to get on with living life a little more like I mean it today! Life is too short after all.
During my childhood, I went to church with my family and would tell you that I was a Christian. However, I only had that belief because my family and church did. I could never feel any deity’s presence or anything spiritual.
In a way, I’m naturally atheist, I suppose. But it took a long time for me to see that as I was so insulated and really thought that there MUST be proof of this being that I just hadn’t seen yet. So I was in total denial about it. Until the morality of Christianity fell apart in my eyes and I was able to see it.
My son just got married in Canada. Beautiful Banff, Canada...
Not a religious ceremony. Very soon he and she will tie the official knot at City Hall. In many cases marriage is for the sake of the kids. My new daughter-in-law's mother is extremely religious however. Catholic, and for her my son and daughter-in-law will get married yet again. In a Catholic church, with a priest and the "whole nine yards." Neither my son or DIL are religious, so in this case it's marriage for one's mother. Makes you kind of wonder what these ceremonies mean when they are done for the sake of others.
At least your son got married in a beautiful location.
My wife wanted to get married in the church her family attended. By attended I mean where they mostly went forvweddings and funerals. But at the time neither of us thought of ourselves asc atheists but just did nor believe. We have attended that same church several times for weddings and more often funerals.
So far I have attended funerals in United Church of Canada, Catholic, Anglican, Jewish and Prespertian. Several of those funerals were for atheists and one reverend even acknowledge the deceased was not a believer.
Funerals are sad, old cemeteries are intetestinh but I have no intetest in dying or being buried.
I kind of evolved as well, but a lot of my "evolution" came about when I realized that this "rapture" thing was nothing but chasing a carrot on a stick.
When I realized the rapture was BS... It struck me that the only reason that Christians are waiting around for the Messiah (Jesus) to come back is the fact that the Jews are waiting for the Messiah to come the first time.
If it wasn't for that then nobody would be waiting around for anybody... and we could actually get a better grip on reality and truth.
And from there I became more amused about what was actually IN the Bible. And it has now been proven that the Bible is fallible and rife with inconsistencies and contradictions and muddled information.
I love to read the Christianity thread and see all the arguing going on over what is supposedly in a "perfect" holy book.
I'm sure that the other religions are no different and I never was confronted with them... so I never looked at them.
But Christianity and the Bible are quite fascinating to research from a skeptic's point of view.
Doesn't mean anything to some people. Obviously does to others...
My son and DIL are plenty okay to accommodate her mother's wishes, and I'm glad to say her side of the family and mine get along real well. Sometimes we all just need to be easy-going and understanding of others, and when no one really minds either way, so be it. Of course for the mother, it's all about ensuring a marriage and grandkids that benefit from the church's blessings. Real or imagined. For her very real, and keeping the mother satisfied in this way is a consideration of her feelings and ultimately the best way to just "keep the peace" easily enough. I hear there are plans to baptize four children at the same gathering.
My wife and I got married by a priest, in a church, with plenty of the religious trappings that for an atheist like me didn't mean what they do to religious people, but back then I didn't even think about not getting married in a church. Truth be told, we got married there, because we witnessed a previous wedding of some friends of ours, and we couldn't believe how beautiful a church it was. We felt lucky to get a date for our wedding there too. We only had to get married once, but that once was plenty good enough for all purposes; beautiful, romantic and practical for all attending.
Sorry you are concerned your wishes won't be honored. I'm not sure I've ever heard of people not treating their loved ones as requested upon their death, though knowing how some people can be about their beliefs regardless of others, I'm sure it happens. Whatever happens in your case, here's hoping it doesn't happen sooner rather than later. As circumstances would have it, we're off to SoCal tomorrow to attend a celebration of life on Sunday. He's being buried I think.
To that end, cheers and time for me to sign off from this forum now. Best to get on with living life a little more like I mean it today! Life is too short after all.
As long as everyone is on board, then it's just another great celebration of union. I understand about keeping the peace and not hurting feelings, I think all of us are either going along with some things in order not to offend or be disrespectful. Or in my case, cause great pain and worry to my elderly family. It would cause so much chaos and I don't care enough about everyone having to know what I don't believe, it's just not that important. We have to pick our battles.
You're wedding sounds wonderful, glad you have the presence of thought about other's wants and what they think are needs. It never hurts to have a peacemaker in the family, that's me believe or not.It hasn't always been that way. Somewhere along the line I matured and realized it wasn't all about me.
I'm sorry about your friend, it's never easy to attend any kind of memorial service. I'm glad his wishes were honored. I like to think mine will be honored, but I've actually seen it happen where family tried real hard to have a funeral for my friend and burial. Her daughter was already distraught, she was only 22. It caused a rift and they no longer speak. It's hard to learn when to keep your mouth shut, but damn. It reminds me of an acquaintance I had that went into a convenient store when she had Covid, then announced to everyone in there she had it.I am not joking. Unbelievable.
Raised Catholic. Married a Catholic. Baptized my kids. All those while being “not serious” about it but never ultimately denying it.
Recently I realized something: I’ve actually been agnostic for 20 years. Not quite ready to say atheist but definitely agnostic.
Talked to my wife about it since neither of us have attended Mass since the kids were little. She said she considers herself “Socially Catholic” but is also basically agnostic.
What matters is practice not theological understanding. What is the difference practically between an agnostic and an atheist?
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It hasn't always been that way. Somewhere along the line I matured and realized it wasn't all about me. 
I am not joking. Unbelievable.
