Not a good week for Ga fathers (Nelson: public school, income)

[PKCorey]

Originally Posted by billl

The Cobb County dad who forgot his 22 month old in the back of the SUV has been charged with murder. That's going to be a hard case to make as (from what I know) it requires showing intent. Unless he's an Oscar-deserving actor it sure seems like he did not intend to leave his child in the car. Is this another case of overzealous prosecution?

It's Cobb County, they always overcharge.

If Raquel Nelson can be held responsible for her son's death this father will be too.

[LovelySummer]

Another tip I've heard is to place something large that you will definitely look for when you get out of the car in the backseat. For women, they say toss your purse back there. Not sure for men. A wallet or phone might not be remembered or noticed as missing and you get out the car anyway. A sticky on the rear view sounds good. An alarm on the phone scheduled to go off around time of arrival at daycare? I guess, if the alarm reminder is set properly and works.... A call by Mom to ask did you drop the baby off? I know some egotistical men may be offended about the check-up but it is just an attempt to cross all is and dot all ts for safety. Keeping the same person in charge of pick-up / drop-off? Usually both parents are not created equally when it comes to childcare, safety and attention to detail. It's sad but I think sometimes the more detail-oriented, safety conscious, more likely to remember baby is in the backseat parent has to just acknowledge (probably inwardly so as to not cause problems) the other is just not as up to snuff and suck up the extra work? Maybe some of these ideas may help someone.

Originally Posted by aneye4detail

Is there something that can be done to make sure this never ever happens again? I don't know. If I was a dad reading this story right now, I'd certainly say to myself, ok if I ever take my kid to daycare, or do anything out of routine with my kid, I'll put a big stickie note on the rear view mirror to remind me!

[GeorgiaLakeSearch]

I really don't get how you forget your child in the backseat; kids are such a hassle to get in the car. But we did forget to wake a child up and went to work(don't worry he was 11 when it happened).

[0nyxStation]

Originally Posted by billl

The Cobb County dad who forgot his 22 month old in the back of the SUV has been charged with murder. That's going to be a hard case to make as (from what I know) it requires showing intent. Unless he's an Oscar-deserving actor it sure seems like he did not intend to leave his child in the car. Is this another case of overzealous prosecution?

I blame all thr old school CEOs who refuse to let people work from home. Most of the jobs that can be done in an office can be done from home. The job just needs to provide a durable laptop with good vpn, these old guys refuse to do this, n its not just an Atlanta thing.

[0nyxStation]

Originally Posted by GeorgiaLakeSearch

I really don't get how you forget your child in the backseat; kids are such a hassle to get in the car. But we did forget to wake a child up and went to work(don't worry he was 11 when it happened).

If you work for a company that fires people for not sneezing on time or creates a culture where being on time is more important that life itself, then this sort of thing happens. This wont be the last time folks.

[Halo_in_reverse]

I've been keeping up with this story and while it's heartbreaking I can't help but wonder if the same sympathy shown for this man would have been shown for a low-income, unmarried, African-American man

I'm not race baiting. I'm just genuinely curious how perceptions of income, class and race factor into sympathy.

Personally, I have no sympathy for the man. I feel bad for the mother and the rest of the family. But none for him. He was so pre-occupied with his life and what he had to do that day that he couldn't keep his focus on the most important person in his life - his child. And then to not realize it for 7 hours. Sheesh

[LovelySummer]

Not only this case but remember that daycare in Atl that left the two year old in the van and she died? Horrible! I would call and check after field trips also if my toddler was taken on a field trip..or just offer to chaperone.

[afdinatl]

Originally Posted by LovelySummer

Not only this case but remember that daycare in Atl that left the two year old in the van and she died? Horrible! I would call and check after field trips also if my toddler was taken on a field trip..or just offer to chaperone.

I agree. In the future spouses should contact each other to make sure this doesn't happen

[JC84]

Originally Posted by Halo_in_reverse

I've been keeping up with this story and while it's heartbreaking I can't help but wonder if the same sympathy shown for this man would have been shown for a low-income, unmarried, African-American man

I'm not race baiting. I'm just genuinely curious how perceptions of income, class and race factor into sympathy.

Personally, I have no sympathy for the man. I feel bad for the mother and the rest of the family. But none for him. He was so pre-occupied with his life and what he had to do that day that he couldn't keep his focus on the most important person in his life - his child. And then to not realize it for 7 hours. Sheesh

I think you're right. There is also a sad trend in men being charged more harshly in these sorts of issues pertaining to children. It's really a double standard no one wants to address. I'm a woman, but I find it hypocritical that we're often quick to rush to women's issues instead of true equality for everyone. That's for another thread altogether though.

[Mal93]

I don't have kids and I am not very familiar with how daycare works. Do you not have to make an appointment or have a contract? If I had kids I would be concerned if a center was expecting a child that didn't arrive and it didn't raise a red flag. Then again I lived through the "Wayne Williams Era" where our arrival/departure from school was well documented--and we could not be released to anyone but our parents without a prior arrangement.

Not blaming the daycare here, just trying to plug a gap in "how did this happen."

- if it wasn't someone's routine to take my child somewhere, I'd check in
- if I was paying someone else to take care of my child I'd want to know if they did not arrive/depart when expected. Do daycares just accept no-shows as a fact of doing business?

The Cobb death is an incredibly gut-wrenching story (one of those incredible terrible things that makes me thankful I *don't* have kids--and I work nearby). I can't fathom the agony of anyone involved, including first responders. It reminds me of the awful, sad situation last year or so where the childcare center worker left a child in their van.

Perhaps an ace auto manufacturer could develop a sensor that would make a specific car alarm/key buzz alert. If something between the restraint system & baby seat could sense weight (like passenger airbags?) and create an alert when the vehicle was turned off for a few minutes. Still wouldn't protect pets but perhaps could help babies in these situations.