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Yet to enjoy this magnificence everyday you will need to learn the way of Aloha. This is not meant to be taken personally. Island living is like nothing you live now. Here who cares what a Kardashians is doing. You never honk your horn. You give without thought of return. Easy enough? Someone asks you a question, even the quirky folk you stop to respond. No judgment of others or be darn careful what you say about others, (Everybody here is related). A few posts back someone was gently trying to say with all your good intentions you will find some on the island who might not immediately accept you (Another reason to visit first to really check out what neighborhood you want to be in or what neighbors want you), if you take offense, get upset, try to defend your reasons with mainland logic (Such as by law you have to turn your music down by 10P.M. or cage your dogs), in place of wearing earplugs or joining the party or bringing puppy treats your life will not be happy here.
Hi Kimberly,
I've enjoyed all your posts on this crazy thread, but I especially wanted to call out this paragraph, because it describes the Hawaii I know. My wife is from Hilo, and I've spent a fair amount of time there over the years, and we hope to move there in a few years, when she retires. (We currently live in Portland, Oregon, and I have a job from which I could telecommute.) I know that Hawaii has different subcultures, but one of the first things I noticed was that, among her circle of friends and relatives, I never heard anyone bad-mouth anyone else. I was also amazed at the warmth and generosity of the locals. In all my years of visiting, I've only encountered two incidents of rudeness that I knew were due to my being a "Mainland haole." Of course, there are jerks everywhere. But it does take a certain kind of personality and temperament to be happy in Hawaii, I think. I can usually tell, when someone I know is going to Hawaii for the first time, whether they'll come back saying that Hawaiians are some of the friendliest people they've ever met, or whether they'll say that Hawaiians hate all Mainland haoles and are rude.
As an aside, we know the owner of What's Shakin'. She and my wife are old friends. You did indeed end up in a beautiful part of the island. Anyway, best of luck to you and your family.
Good morning HonuMan, I spent several years living in Oregon!!!! Everywhere from Brookings to Portland. Before we came to the island we stayed in Portland for a few months. Actually left Portland for Seattle then flew out. Three years ago we lived in West Linn for a year. Oh My Gosh I am not missing the city code police measuring neighbors lawns there. Such a wonderful change being here out of traffic. I do miss OMSI, Powell's, Vodoo Donuts and Trader Joe's. Pizza here is London bland too.
Have you ever been to Mount Angel's Octoberfest? I lived in Mount Angel and Silverton years ago. We came across an Ace Hardware General Store yesterday in Volcano Village that reminded me of Bochsler's in Mount Angel. A little hardware store jammed packed with everything from pruning shears to perfume. Lol. Oregon I think is close in many ways to Hawaii. Diversity of people, good intentions, eclectic culture. Bonus here when it rains it is warm. Hilo downtown in the minimal time we have been here seems to be swelling with panhandlers. Unlike downtown Portland though they are not aggressive in their requests.
Lol, we were touring around the other day looking at property. We ended up near Mountain View. There were a couple guys in a front yard going at it verbally. While we were driving by they stopped, gave us a smile & a shaka then went after each other again. Only in Hawaii, huh?
Trixie, a couple ponderments about pets. There are hundreds of feral cats (And other animals) here. Best to wait to send your pets until you have a secured housing location with a fence. There is a quarantine for pets too. My daughter loves kittens to. She has all she wants to pet running around. Maybe your daughter will be distracted loving neighbors Kitties till he's arrive. Pitbulls are the breed of choice or availability here.
"Maybe, but the reason I love watching him is not the pain he inflicts, but what I’ve seen him do as a leader in his field- and that’s produce other leaders, winners, musical legends".
"Look deeper and see what you have to learn from him about bringing out the best in people."
"As leaders, we tend to care about those we lead, and sometimes it causes us to be less than honest for fear of hurting their feelings. In truth, we’ve not protected them from the truth, but rather delayed its impact on their life. Leaders must be honest, whether it’s promising or painful."
"And if that means being critical, so be it. I hate political correctness. I absolutely loathe it.” A leader will understand that not only does the truth hurt, but he or she has to pick what’s uniquely best for their organization or team, no matter what others might think, say or do. It’s essentially leading based on the perfect blend of courage and vision. And some people will criticize and hate you for it. In the words of Simon, “so be it.”
"In both 2004 & 2010, Simon Cowell was voted as one of the 100 most influential people in the world" (Note, I didn't see Bob Burg on this list)
This thread has really highlighted the differences between different posters' personalities and approaches. I read this, and I read Bob Burg's article, and I don't see any contradictions between them. I really like Simon Cowell now, but I hated him for the first several seasons of American Idol. Why? Because I thought his "I'm just being honest!" schtick wasn't about discouraging untalented contestants from entering the music industry — it was about coming up with outrageously cruel witticisms meant to humiliate the contestants, provoke anger from Paula Abdul ("the nice one"), and elicit boos from the audience. I finally realized he was putting on a persona ("the villain") to generate ratings. The last few seasons, though, he's been tough but honest, and he's pretty much abandoned being nasty for the sake of it. And although he still has an enormous ego (most people who achieve his level of business success do), he's shown that he also has a kind, generous side when it comes to talent he believes in. I didn't watch this past season of The X Factor (after over a decade, I'm burned out on the "singing competition" format), but on the prior season, I found myself agreeing with his opinions, feedback, and approach most of the time. I never thought I'd say that.
For the record, I work in the leadership development field, and I'm pretty well versed in emotional intelligence, ways of handling conflict, and adapting one's communication style depending on the recipient's style. This thread didn't become the train wreck that some have, but there was a fair amount of "This is my communication style — deal with it," which provoked defensiveness from those with different styles, which caused what we call "derailing spirals." My best friend is from New York City, and he likes me to be blunt with him. My wife is from Hawaii, and if I were blunt with her, we would have been divorced long ago. I've learned how to tactfully ease into touchy subjects with her, in a way that she'll hear what I have to say. After all, the purpose of communication is get the recipient to understand your message, not to convince them of the superiority of your default communication style (which is, after all, subjective, and dependent on one's culture, upbringing, and personality).
I, too, am tired of the trolls on this forum. They're easy to spot: new forum member, first post, and outrageously provocative statements. They either don't post anything further on the thread, or they egg people on with further outrageous statements. A classic recent example was the guy wondering whether he should abandon his horrible job, hillbilly wife, and family to move to Kaua'i for a life of fun and surfing. I couldn't believe the number of people who took him seriously.
As for the dreamers, I don't put them in the same category as trolls. I've been a dreamer myself — sometimes realistically, sometimes not. My wife and I dream of moving to Hawaii someday, but we know the realities: the pros and the cons of living there, what we'd gain, what we'd give up, and how much money we'd need to support the lifestyle we want to lead. Long before I met her, I was fascinated by Hawaii, but my notions were mostly naive and romantic. I suspect that the reason most of the dreamers on here don't move to Hawaii is because it's such an enormous, expensive undertaking, and difficult to back out of if it doesn't work out (unless you're young and have few responsbilities). It's different from loading up a U-Haul and driving a few hundred miles to another state on the Mainland. Also, I've considered moving to any number of places in my life, as have most people I know. The fact that I didn't move to most of those places wasn't due to lack of sincerity — it was due to gathering information and ultimately deciding the move wasn't practical. And I did end up making two big moves in my life — one 3,000 miles away to a place where I knew no one. It was one of the best things I've ever done.
This thread has also polarized the more conventional, risk-averse people and the less conventional, "counterculture" (for lack of a better word, and at the risk of generalizing) people. I tend toward the former, and there are things that some people on here propose doing that I certainly wouldn't do, but my best friend (since the 1970s) took an unconventional, Jack Kerouac approach to his life, taking risks that I found unbelievable at the time. Both our lives have turned out well. His daughter, despite having had an unconventional father, is now a happily married, well-adjusted woman with a daughter of her own, a master's degree, and a great career. My adult stepsons, having been raised in a safe, conventonal environment, are still struggling to find their paths in life. I've learned that there are no guarantees in life. Ultimately, you have to take the path that best fits who you are — with the caveat that you need to do it with eyes wide open, knowing the potential risks and rewards, and with a willingness to pay whatever the price is (and everything has a price).
As an aside, I find it interesting that the vast majority of regulars on this forum aren't from Hawaii. My wife is happy I post here, but she's never expressed any interest in reading this forum or posting here herself. I suspect she knows that she'd get riled up by some of the posts.
My overall point, then, is that I believe there needs to be a balance here between "brutal honesty" and unwarranted "You go!" support of semi-thought-out "I want to move to Hawaii!" posts — and that the balance can shift depending on the content and tone of the original post. I tend to err on the side of politeness and civility, but that's just me. Also, there is too often a tendency here to pigeon-hole posters based on a few preset criteria, and to give them a canned response. Hawaii definitely doesn't need more future welfare recipients to drain the economy (neither does anywhere else), but there are different ways of being a valuable and productive citizen.
And I dearly hope that Buying Hawaii doesn't make it to HGTV. The Big Island doesn't need a huge influx of people who saw that you can get a house in Hawaii in the $175,000 range and who have no other reason for wanting to move there besides the weather is great and there are beaches.Those $175K prices won't last long, if there's a surge in demand. And to quote the Eagles, "Call someplace 'paradise,' kiss it goodbye."
Anyway, this has been one of the more interesting threads in a while.
Good morning HonuMan, I spent several years living in Oregon!!!! Everywhere from Brookings to Portland. Before we came to the island we stayed in Portland for a few months. Actually left Portland for Seattle then flew out. Three years ago we lived in West Linn for a year. Oh My Gosh I am not missing the city code police measuring neighbors lawns there. Such a wonderful change being here out of traffic. I do miss OMSI, Powell's, Vodoo Donuts and Trader Joe's. Pizza here is London bland too.
Have you ever been to Mount Angel's Octoberfest? I lived in Mount Angel and Silverton years ago. We came across an Ace Hardware General Store yesterday in Volcano Village that reminded me of Bochsler's in Mount Angel. A little hardware store jammed packed with everything from pruning shears to perfume. Lol. Oregon I think is close in many ways to Hawaii. Diversity of people, good intentions, eclectic culture. Bonus here when it rains it is warm. Hilo downtown in the minimal time we have been here seems to be swelling with panhandlers. Unlike downtown Portland though they are not aggressive in their requests.
Lol, we were touring around the other day looking at property. We ended up near Mountain View. There were a couple guys in a front yard going at it verbally. While we were driving by they stopped, gave us a smile & a shaka then went after each other again. Only in Hawaii, huh?
Yes, I have been to the Mount Angel Oktoberfest! Oregon is a great place, and if my wife and I can't move to Hawaii, we'll be content to stay here. Both places are incredibly beautiful. Hawaii wins when it comes to climate, though. But we know we'd miss things about the PNW.
Honuman - the Simon Cowell post was a joke. Everyone takes things so literally around here.
Post # 1 and post # 7 were so over the top silly that I decided to join in on the fun. I know I'm not the only one who reads that and doesn't come to the same conclusion I do.
I have no issue with a dreamer post - I put Maui-Intoxicated in that category - the difference between his thread and this thread is that he has been to Hawaii and started out making a logical plan - essentially dream to reality. In this thread - we have a person who hasn't been to Hawaii - throws out over the top stereotypes of Hawaii - takes defensiveness to a new level (I don't doubt for a second she new exactly what was coming with that thread title).
This isn't a dreamer - we have an incredibly bored housewife who is looking for an escape from North Carolina - likely does hate it there - has nothing to do - and craves attention on an internet forum. There isn't anything serious about her intentions on here.
This thread has really highlighted the differences between different posters' personalities and approaches. I read this, and I read Bob Burg's article, and I don't see any contradictions between them. I really like Simon Cowell now, but I hated him for the first several seasons of American Idol. Why? Because I thought his "I'm just being honest!" schtick wasn't about discouraging untalented contestants from entering the music industry — it was about coming up with outrageously cruel witticisms meant to humiliate the contestants, provoke anger from Paula Abdul ("the nice one"), and elicit boos from the audience. I finally realized he was putting on a persona ("the villain") to generate ratings. The last few seasons, though, he's been tough but honest, and he's pretty much abandoned being nasty for the sake of it. And although he still has an enormous ego (most people who achieve his level of business success do), he's shown that he also has a kind, generous side when it comes to talent he believes in. I didn't watch this past season of The X Factor (after over a decade, I'm burned out on the "singing competition" format), but on the prior season, I found myself agreeing with his opinions, feedback, and approach most of the time. I never thought I'd say that.
For the record, I work in the leadership development field, and I'm pretty well versed in emotional intelligence, ways of handling conflict, and adapting one's communication style depending on the recipient's style. This thread didn't become the train wreck that some have, but there was a fair amount of "This is my communication style — deal with it," which provoked defensiveness from those with different styles, which caused what we call "derailing spirals." My best friend is from New York City, and he likes me to be blunt with him. My wife is from Hawaii, and if I were blunt with her, we would have been divorced long ago. I've learned how to tactfully ease into touchy subjects with her, in a way that she'll hear what I have to say. After all, the purpose of communication is get the recipient to understand your message, not to convince them of the superiority of your default communication style (which is, after all, subjective, and dependent on one's culture, upbringing, and personality).
I, too, am tired of the trolls on this forum. They're easy to spot: new forum member, first post, and outrageously provocative statements. They either don't post anything further on the thread, or they egg people on with further outrageous statements. A classic recent example was the guy wondering whether he should abandon his horrible job, hillbilly wife, and family to move to Kaua'i for a life of fun and surfing. I couldn't believe the number of people who took him seriously.
As for the dreamers, I don't put them in the same category as trolls. I've been a dreamer myself — sometimes realistically, sometimes not. My wife and I dream of moving to Hawaii someday, but we know the realities: the pros and the cons of living there, what we'd gain, what we'd give up, and how much money we'd need to support the lifestyle we want to lead. Long before I met her, I was fascinated by Hawaii, but my notions were mostly naive and romantic. I suspect that the reason most of the dreamers on here don't move to Hawaii is because it's such an enormous, expensive undertaking, and difficult to back out of if it doesn't work out (unless you're young and have few responsbilities). It's different from loading up a U-Haul and driving a few hundred miles to another state on the Mainland. Also, I've considered moving to any number of places in my life, as have most people I know. The fact that I didn't move to most of those places wasn't due to lack of sincerity — it was due to gathering information and ultimately deciding the move wasn't practical. And I did end up making two big moves in my life — one 3,000 miles away to a place where I knew no one. It was one of the best things I've ever done.
This thread has also polarized the more conventional, risk-averse people and the less conventional, "counterculture" (for lack of a better word, and at the risk of generalizing) people. I tend toward the former, and there are things that some people on here propose doing that I certainly wouldn't do, but my best friend (since the 1970s) took an unconventional, Jack Kerouac approach to his life, taking risks that I found unbelievable at the time. Both our lives have turned out well. His daughter, despite having had an unconventional father, is now a happily married, well-adjusted woman with a daughter of her own, a master's degree, and a great career. My adult stepsons, having been raised in a safe, conventonal environment, are still struggling to find their paths in life. I've learned that there are no guarantees in life. Ultimately, you have to take the path that best fits who you are — with the caveat that you need to do it with eyes wide open, knowing the potential risks and rewards, and with a willingness to pay whatever the price is (and everything has a price).
As an aside, I find it interesting that the vast majority of regulars on this forum aren't from Hawaii. My wife is happy I post here, but she's never expressed any interest in reading this forum or posting here herself. I suspect she knows that she'd get riled up by some of the posts.
My overall point, then, is that I believe there needs to be a balance here between "brutal honesty" and unwarranted "You go!" support of semi-thought-out "I want to move to Hawaii!" posts — and that the balance can shift depending on the content and tone of the original post. I tend to err on the side of politeness and civility, but that's just me. Also, there is too often a tendency here to pigeon-hole posters based on a few preset criteria, and to give them a canned response. Hawaii definitely doesn't need more future welfare recipients to drain the economy (neither does anywhere else), but there are different ways of being a valuable and productive citizen.
And I dearly hope that Buying Hawaii doesn't make it to HGTV. The Big Island doesn't need a huge influx of people who saw that you can get a house in Hawaii in the $175,000 range and who have no other reason for wanting to move there besides the weather is great and there are beaches.Those $175K prices won't last long, if there's a surge in demand. And to quote the Eagles, "Call someplace 'paradise,' kiss it goodbye."
Anyway, this has been one of the more interesting threads in a while.
See, even 'contentious' (or whatever) threads can end up with much goodness - this might have been closed down or locked before this point, and now look: some of us are meeting to try to help each other out with some real-life problems after this thread! Not every thread has to stay exactly on topic - like life, or communication, things meander naturally and take their course...
Neighbors helping neighbors without even knowing them is something that is rare in this world, but fairly common on the BI/HI, or at least in my life experience. Probably one of the reasons some of the 'dreamers' want to come here, to be part of that...the only thing is, you can't just TAKE - you have to GIVE something too.
I'm proud to be a part of what we're trying to do on our island home, whatever it is we're trying to do together. Whether we know each other or not, we're all neighbors, and if you're to believe some ancient (and some current) Polynesian 'kastam', it sort of means we're all extended family...
...though none of you are invited for holiday dinner
Honuman - the Simon Cowell post was a joke. Everyone takes things so literally around here.
Post # 1 and post # 7 were so over the top silly that I decided to join in on the fun. I know I'm not the only one who reads that and doesn't come to the same conclusion I do.
I have no issue with a dreamer post - I put Maui-Intoxicated in that category - the difference between his thread and this thread is that he has been to Hawaii and started out making a logical plan - essentially dream to reality. In this thread - we have a person who hasn't been to Hawaii - throws out over the top stereotypes of Hawaii - takes defensiveness to a new level (I don't doubt for a second she new exactly what was coming with that thread title).
This isn't a dreamer - we have an incredibly bored housewife who is looking for an escape from North Carolina - likely does hate it there - has nothing to do - and craves attention on an internet forum. There isn't anything serious about her intentions on here.
See, this is why I love this forum. Even though you're often more, um, blunt than I would ever be, I like your posts, because you offer a non-rose-colored-glasses realism that is often lacking on here -- and it's based on actual experience. I admit, though, that I sometimes wonder what appeals to you about Hawaii. You warn people about the downside, but only occasionally praise the upside. You must like Hawaii, or you wouldn't stay.
As for Simon Cowell, I thought you were serious, because he really is a great businessman and mentor, once you get past the ego and the media persona. Again, I never thought I'd say that, but I do admire him.
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