MA College Experience is the Worst! (Boston, Lowell: appointed, transplants, apartment)

[The Shizzle]

My story: I'm 25. Born and raised in Michigan. Took two semesters in Grand Rapids Community College. Joined the Air Force, finally got out February of '09. On the advice of my oldest brother, who lives in Rockport, I decided to continue my college education in MA (North Shore Community College from May thru December) and I had a thoroughly miserable experience with the college scene.

The social scene is the worst for singles. Do a search for "dating" on this forum and you'll come up with threads featuring comments like the following:

Originally Posted by Bostonian08

Ditto to what everyone above said. If you don't want to ever get a date again, move to Boston. This is a perfect place to never meet anybody or ever get a date. However, if you ask for directions, we'll all be happy to help!

College kids here simply do not hang out. I mainly (or only) hung out with other transplants from other states or other parts of the world. The Italians I met on the subway, the people from places like Ohio, New Hampshire, Texas, and the Domicans I've met at school all had the same feeling I did: within a month of living in MA they were miserable and either transferring or seriously considering transferring.

Being a single guy I wanted to meet women but that's tough if you're trying to meet women from MA. Thank God, that I met some great women from other states. The MA college girls definitely are stuck-up, icy divas, who consider eye contact from the male species to be intrusive and creepy. I bought a pair of shades cuz I was tired of walking down the street, see a girl make eye contact with me, then watch her frown and look away disgusted. The women on this forum gave four main reasons for this stuck-up behavior: weather; women want a successful man with a degree; too many creepy guys in MA; and people in New England are reserved.

But I've met women from New Hampshire and Maine, and they were much friendlier, so it can't be the weather. And all women want a successful man, but women in other places are nearly as stuck-up about it. There are creepier men in Florida, where my sister lives (49 sex offenders within a 1 mile radius of her apartment), and yet the women are much more sociable down there. And I've met many friendly people in MA, and from other parts of New England. I, myself, am reserved, and I don't always strike up a conversation with every person on the street but I was pleasantly surprised to meet people in Rockport ask me how I was doing, compliment me on my clothes, offer to drive me to the train station when I was walking down Granite Street in the cold rain, strike up general conversations when I'm just sitting on a bench on Front Beach, and after losing my keys near Whistlestop Mall I was shocked to find out that the old man with the cane who found them, walked several blocks to give them to the police station. I've also met pleasant characters, who own local restaurants, at the train station in Beverly, on the street, at the Lynn and Gloucester libraries, and so many other places on the North Shore. I can understand how other transplants might have a negative feeling toward Mass-folks. But I don't take it to heart when I realize that people in that state are just as cold, unfriendly, and rude toward each other as they are to transplants, and they aren't showing any preference for locals over transplants. Still, I can understand if people are angry, and I wish they had as many pleasant experiences with these so-called "M***holes" as I have.

Nevertheless, my college experience wasn't cordial with the locals, particularly the women. Women from other places noticed that women here are hard to get to know, and lack a general sense of humor. Most of the people from North Shore knew each other from high school so that settles their friendship problem, and sadly mine as well (which means I didn't have MA classmates as friends).

I also disagree that colleges in MA are genuinely better than anywhere else in the US. Accept for Harvard, you'll find they are average. North Shore Community College does not hand out checks for fall semester until late November/early Dec (in contrast to colleges in other states that hand out student loan checks immediately). The reason: the huge drop-out rate. I was informed by the financial aid director herself that this is done in many colleges in MA because of the huge drop-out rate among the students. It seems that there are also a huge number of transplants who attend college in MA for a few semesters, then find out the hype isn't true about colleges here being better in MA, and then decide to transfer out of the state.

But I still can't get over how stuck-up the college-aged girls are. I can understand why a Harvard girl is snobby toward a community college student, but why are my female classmates just as icy? The posts here say to strike up intellectual conversations but that does not help. When I listened to girls in my class converse they gossiped about dating, their friends, celebrity scandals, and idle chit-chat, so why should I use intellectual talk when they are talking like regular college girls? When I struck up a conversation about astronomy with a girl in Walmart she told me I was lame and corny. When I asked what did she expect a guy to say to her she said, "I expect you to say, 'hey baby, can i grab your butt?'" My response, "What would you have said if I had said such a thing?" "Nothing. I would have smacked you in the mouth." "What do you want a man to say to you for a pickup line?" "Something funny and sweet at the same time." "Such as?" "I don't know. Just something funny and sweet." "Fascinating."

The college girls and the working class, single moms with kids are all on the same, "I'm a princess, and every guy here is a potential creep, so I don't need to have a sense of humor." trip. On the other hand, the older women have been quite friendly with me: they'll laugh when I'm not trying to be funny; they'll smile; offer to drive me home; converse with me; compliment me; etc. True, many can be standoffish, but many are quite laidback. Do the MA women mellow out with age? I should have gone with one of those cougars and said, "Kiss my ass!" to all the college princesses.

All in all, the college scene in MA is horrible. The majority of Americans get a degree from colleges outside of MA and their career situation turns out fine, so there's no reason to believe that getting a degree from a college in MA (except Harvard) will boost your prestige in the job market. Before I took those courses at North Shore I would have disregarded the comments from an anonymous poster, but now I believe them to be true. Thinking about going to college in MA? Don't do it. You'll be miserable. Even going to Harvard for a bachelor's might not be worth it (are you really up to spending time around such a dull, cliquish college scene?). I couldn't stand two semesters before I transferred to the University of Phoenix. I made a friend here in Phoenix the first day and we began to study together. Two of our female classmates asked to study with us, and actually want to hang out with us. I was shocked because such a thing is rare, if not unheard of, from MA college girls.

[lrfox]

Yeah, I'm sure your experience at one community college on the North Shore is reflective of the entire college scene here in Massachusetts

First, community colleges in this part of the country (and most everywhere else) are mostly commuter oriented. This means that most students there aren't going for the "college experience." They're going to get a degree or take some extra classes. That's it. If you go to a university or college with mostly (or simply a large number of) residential students you will get the real college experience which is social, fun and exciting (which would the reason hundreds of thousands of kids choose to go to school here).

Second, I hardly think that someone who attended the North Shore community college is qualified to say that all colleges in Massachusetts are overrated, "Accept for Harvard, you'll find they are average." I think the problem for you may stem back to grammar school (it's "except"... accept is an entirely different word), not college. Do you really think your experience at a community college on the North Shore gave you an accurate representation of the quality of colleges and universities in the region? Please, I get the feeling you have no clue as to what you're talking about.

You're ranting like a typical disgruntled guy who has trouble with the ladies. Maybe take a deep breath and step back for a moment and reflect on what you're typing. Do you REALLY believe the problem is everyone else? The fact is that you had trouble meeting women. That leaves two possible reasons. 1) You aren't that wonderful with the lady-folk, or 2) Every woman in Massachusetts is stuck up and conceited and overlooks your charms. Even if I were completely unbiased, I'd have to say the odds are that you were the problem and not the entire female population in the state of Massachusetts. Your Walmart story is proof. Are you really so clueless that you don't know how to approach a person and strike up a casual conversation?! Did you really try talking about Astronomy? I don't do this often, but I'm laughing out loud at this. People may want to have "sophisticated" conversations, but trying to break the ice by talking about astronomy (astronomy?!) is not typical Walmart fodder (did you REALLY intend to pick up "sophisticated" women in Walmart?). I still can't believe that you tried to talk about astronomy with a random woman in Walmart AND you're surprised she didn't go for it hook, line, and sinker. I'd love to meet the women you're successful at winning over.

As a 24 year old living in Boston, I have no trouble socializing with strange women. I'm not saying every girl with whom I talk to at a bar or anywhere in public wants to jump into bed with me; but casual conversations are quite easy to come by. I don't try to break the ice by discussing constellations, nor do I try to force myself into conversation. Pick up lines?! No way. No woman with half a brain is going to go for some corny pick up line. It's far easier to just find something relevant at the current moment (it could be something about her outfit, another person in the area, the food/service/drinks, etc) and see how far casual, genuine (that's key... most girls around here see through the skirt-chasing bull****) conversation will take you. Many times, it leads to, "it was nice to meet you;" (which isn't bad... far from "icy") but sometimes it can lead to a number and a date. From my experience, women here want you to be genuine from the start. No corny pick up lines or forced "sophistication."

Sure, some girls want nothing to do with you. Who cares? It's their right to *gasp* not be interested in finding a guy while shopping, in class, or even at the bar. Many girls, especially those at community colleges are there to go to class and then leave. Many of them at community colleges already have husbands, jobs, social circles, etc. You were at the wrong place to get a good feel for the "college scene" in Boston. You were also 25. I'm a year younger than you and I'm not involved with the "college scene" really. I was done with it two years ago. Most of the people in the college scene are between 18-22/3. No, that's not much younger, but most of our peers are either graduate students or working professionals at this juncture.

My sister who is 19 is a student at Northeastern. She has made tons of friends, most of them from Massachusetts but many of them from abroad. She thinks it's fantastic that she can meet so many people from all over the world as well as people that grew up in her back yard. She (and many of her friends from MA) has had a few boyfriends since being at school in Boston and most of them are from places outside of MA. All of my friends in the Boston area had little trouble meeting girls and guy friends at college. If anything, I think college in MA is the BEST time to meet people and very few people I've met have had trouble with it.

As far as transferring students go, that's typical of any school in any state in the country. I went to college in Maine. a huge percentage of students from out of state transferred back closer to home after a year (or even semester). I wish I transferred out of Maine because like you, I hated it. I didn't have the "Maine" state spirit or the same interests as everyone else. However, unlike you, I am fully aware the the incompatibility was my personality... not everyone else's fault. Why you think that's something unique to Boston is beyond me.

Once again, why on earth do you feel your college experience is reflective of Massachusetts college experiences in general? Are you really so arrogant as to presume that your two semesters as non-traditional student at North Shore Community College are a good measuring stick for everyone going to college in Massachusetts? With all due respect (and I have very little for you after reading your rant about how terrible people from Massachusetts are), you're out of your mind. Enjoy Phoenix and good riddance.

[holden125]

Um, thanks for sharing?

I'm truly sorry you didn't enjoy your time here, but you come from Michigan and spent two semesters at North Shore C.C. and that's what your broad generalizations are based on? I have to go with LR on this one.

Based on experiences with other Mass. community colleges, and "community" college elsewhere, I imagine most students at that school have pretty much lived in the immediate vicinity their whole life, and already knew a lot of the people at the college before they started. It's not surprising they weren't necessarily looking to hook up with a 25-year old from Michigan. It's also not exactly representative of going to a school (other than Harvard) in, say, Boston itself.

Mass. is home to a whole host of community colleges, state colleges, and UMass Amherst, Boston, Dartmouth and Lowell. It's also got Harvard and MIT and a ton of other colleges. BC, BU, Simmons, Wheelock, Emmanuel, Wentworth, Northeastern, Emmanuel, Berklee, Suffolk, Emerson, Fisher, Tufts, Lesley, Curry, Lassell, Mt. Ida, Brandeis, Bentley, Regis, Babson, Wellesley, Holy Cross, WPI, Clark, Assumption, Mass. Maritime, Amherst, Williams, Mt. Holyoke, Hampshire, Stonehill, Wheaton, Woods Hole Institute, Bard, and I'm sure a ton of others I'm forgetting. I'm sure not everyone has loved their experience going to school in Mass. but there are millions of satisfied customers and plenty of those schools are very good.

And why were you trying to pick someone up at Walmart?

[Beachcomber4]

Thanks for the laugh. I don't know what I think is funnier- a 25 year old community college student who is upset that people don't want to "hang out" (many community college students have to work to pay for school), the fact that you think that 8 months at a community college gives you enough insight to define the entire Massachusetts college experience or your screen name. The Shizzle.

[Urban Peasant]

Being a commuter student can be hard in terms of socializing. I commuted during all of my undergraduate years at Northeastern. Occasionally we commuters get together but the commuter crowd at any school are generally those who are not big spenders, those who don't care much for socializing, or those who already have a clique back at their hometown. Community colleges are even harder because so many students work as well and have no time for much socializing. I feel sorry for the O.P. and hopes he has better opportunities elsewhere although I cannot agree with the belief that college life here in MA is that bad all the time.

[GypsySoul22]

What the heck?
Maybe your experience was bad and odd from what you are used to but if MA college experience is so bad, then how do you explain Harvard, MIT, UMASS and more..

Boston is a college town...!
Maybe you need to go to a party school. Some people might actually be interested in getting an EDUCATION...

[Cantabridgienne]

Short version for those who don't want to read this tome: Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah.

[The Shizzle]

Originally Posted by lrfox

First, community colleges in this part of the country (and most everywhere else) are mostly commuter oriented. This means that most students there aren't going for the "college experience." They're going to get a degree or take some extra classes. That's it. If you go to a university or college with mostly (or simply a large number of) residential students you will get the real college experience which is social, fun and exciting (which would the reason hundreds of thousands of kids choose to go to school here).

Which would also be the reason why the majority of them are so disappointed here, because they complain about the lack of nightlife. But that's not my main gripe sense I don't need to be in clubs and bars all the time.

Originally Posted by lrfox

Second, I hardly think that someone who attended the North Shore community college is qualified to say that all colleges in Massachusetts are overrated, "Accept for Harvard, you'll find they are average." I think the problem for you may stem back to grammar school (it's "except"... accept is an entirely different word), not college. Do you really think your experience at a community college on the North Shore gave you an accurate representation of the quality of colleges and universities in the region? Please, I get the feeling you have no clue as to what you're talking about.

I failed to add that I was thinking about attending the University of Massachusetts Amherst until I asked the opinions of many other transfer students: such as the Italian exchange students from the Abruzzio region in Italy who were attending the Massachusetts Institute of Technology in Cambridge; the Japanese students from Sapporo, Japan and Osaka who were attending Salem State College; the Sri Lankan girl who was attending Cambridge College; the Jordanian who attends the University of Massachusetts Amherst; the South Korean girls from Busan attending Harvard; and the countless people from other parts of the U.S. like Iowa, Illinois, CA, FL, TX, NC, etc. who attended various other colleges such as Boston University, Bunker Hill, and Roxbury, all said the same thing: the social scene was a real drag. And they were seriously considering transferring or already doing so. Yes, people transfer a lot, but why were there many transplants like me who felt the desire to leave within a month of attending these supposedly prestigious colleges?

Originally Posted by lrfox

You're ranting like a typical disgruntled guy who has trouble with the ladies. Maybe take a deep breath and step back for a moment and reflect on what you're typing. Do you REALLY believe the problem is everyone else? The fact is that you had trouble meeting women. That leaves two possible reasons. 1) You aren't that wonderful with the lady-folk, or 2) Every woman in Massachusetts is stuck up and conceited and overlooks your charms. Even if I were completely unbiased, I'd have to say the odds are that you were the problem and not the entire female population in the state of Massachusetts. Your Walmart story is proof. Are you really so clueless that you don't know how to approach a person and strike up a casual conversation?! Did you really try talking about Astronomy? I don't do this often, but I'm laughing out loud at this. People may want to have "sophisticated" conversations, but trying to break the ice by talking about astronomy (astronomy?!) is not typical Walmart fodder (did you REALLY intend to pick up "sophisticated" women in Walmart?). I still can't believe that you tried to talk about astronomy with a random woman in Walmart AND you're surprised she didn't go for it hook, line, and sinker. I'd love to meet the women you're successful at winning over.

Aren't you the same person who said women here have their guard up more than other cities?

Originally Posted by lrfox

I don't get it either. I have noticed that many girls in Boston seem to have their guard up more than some other cities I've been to, but if you're not socially inept (or heinously ugly), it's not too difficult to start a conversation like a normal human being.

As with other aspects of forming relationships with people in Boston, it takes effort and time.

I've been to plenty of cities in the South where bimbos will giggle and smile at everything you say, but I don't find it becoming at all. I generally prefer a challenge and some actual conversation with substance. Different strokes for different folks, I guess.

So why are you disagreeing with me about the social attitudes of the college girls here? And take a look at the second part of your post I underlined: I prefer a challenge too. I like intellectual conversation. Are you going to tell me there aren't any intellectual college girls who shop at Walmart? Ooookay......Then please tell me the exclusive place to meet intellectual people in MA. I didn't know intellectual people in MA believed Walmart was beneath them. When I saw her she had on smart spectacles, a nice red and white plaid coat, nice black pants, and expensive-looking glittery shoes. She also had communications books stuffed into her bag for Fitchburg State College. I guess it's stupid for me to assume that another college student would be interested in intellectual conversation in a state that supposedly attracts highly intelligent people from around the globe. I guess I was an idiot for listening to the "genius" who said I'd get a "challenge and some actual conversation with substance" in MA. What was I thinking?

Originally Posted by artichoke63

I do think people in Mass can be snooty. I lived there for years and it was extremely difficult to make friends. Everybody already HAS friends -- friends from way back in grade school -- and family, so they don't need you. Further west you go, the more friendly people become. What I LIKED about Mass was the politics and education. It is the bluest of the blue states. Very democratic. People know their politics and they're happy to discuss their point of view. I miss the intelligent conversations I had with my Mass friends.. Oh, and other thing, the friends you do make there will stick with you for life. They know what friendship and loyalty means.

Artie

I feel your pain, Artie. There are a lot of snooty people and it can be difficult to make friends. It's also a big no-no to strike up intelligent conversations with your fellow students.

Originally Posted by lrfox

As a 24 year old living in Boston, I have no trouble socializing with strange women. I'm not saying every girl with whom I talk to at a bar or anywhere in public wants to jump into bed with me; but casual conversations are quite easy to come by. I don't try to break the ice by discussing constellations, nor do I try to force myself into conversation. Pick up lines?! No way. No woman with half a brain is going to go for some corny pick up line. It's far easier to just find something relevant at the current moment (it could be something about her outfit, another person in the area, the food/service/drinks, etc) and see how far casual, genuine (that's key... most girls around here see through the skirt-chasing bull****) conversation will take you. Many times, it leads to, "it was nice to meet you;" (which isn't bad... far from "icy") but sometimes it can lead to a number and a date. From my experience, women here want you to be genuine from the start. No corny pick up lines or forced "sophistication."

Finally, you're not bashing me and jumping to conclusions. But still, the high and mighty attitude isn't necessary. I'm talking about interacting in general. I talk to people of all shapes and sizes, but the women here jump to the conclusion that I want them desperately. Also, if the women here are so great, why are there so many baby mamas here like everywhere else? (although 17 girls getting pregnant by a homeless guy in Gloucester is weird). I don't understand why the high school dropout girls at my job would think I'm trying to pick them up when all I'm trying to do is be sociable with my co-workers.

Originally Posted by lrfox

Sure, some girls want nothing to do with you. Who cares? It's their right to *gasp* not be interested in finding a guy while shopping, in class, or even at the bar. Many girls, especially those at community colleges are there to go to class and then leave. Many of them at community colleges already have husbands, jobs, social circles, etc. You were at the wrong place to get a good feel for the "college scene" in Boston. You were also 25. I'm a year younger than you and I'm not involved with the "college scene" really. I was done with it two years ago. Most of the people in the college scene are between 18-22/3. No, that's not much younger, but most of our peers are either graduate students or working professionals at this juncture.

But I had no trouble meeting women from Portsmouth, NH; Cedar Rapids, Iowa; San Diego, CA; Roseburg, OR; San Antonio, TX; Barranquilla, Colombia; and Baranca, Costa Rica, to name a few, but the women who were raised in MA jump to the conclusion that I'm trying to get in bed. How come they had no problem meeting me for a drink at Elliot's at the Blackburn, or Tatiana's in Lynn, but the MA women are so stuck-up. Also, you've agreed with me that these women are cliquish when you said they already had jobs and social circles. If they have husbands, I respect that. But the ones with no rings on their finger quickly jump to the defensive: closing their mouths, frowning, looking away, so how would I know anything about them if they won't talk? The female transplants I've met have been lonely.

Originally Posted by lrfox

If anything, I think college in MA is the BEST time to meet people and very few people I've met have had trouble with it.

Please. By the fact that you're getting so defensive about my post, and the fact that I find it hard to click on a page in the MA forum or the Boston sub-forum that doesn't even have one thread about transplants (or even MA locals themselves) griping about MA people, shows that I am definitely not alone.

Originally Posted by lrfox

As far as transferring students go, that's typical of any school in any state in the country. I went to college in Maine. a huge percentage of students from out of state transferred back closer to home after a year (or even semester). I wish I transferred out of Maine because like you, I hated it. I didn't have the "Maine" state spirit or the same interests as everyone else. However, unlike you, I am fully aware the the incompatibility was my personality... not everyone else's fault. Why you think that's something unique to Boston is beyond me.

Maybe this quote from askmetafilter says something:

I think one of the worst parts of Boston is all the people who move there for college or post-college for a few years and think they can impose their worldview on Bostonians. When they realize it's not New York / Iowa, they move away. They don't even take the time to appreciate the experience of a Red Sox baseball season; they complain about the high prices; they whine about how inconvenient everything is. And when they leave, they don't realize that's how Bostonians like it because it keeps uppity BU students from living there permanently.

[url=http://ask.metafilter.com/75403/Boston-To-go-or-not-to-go-that-is-the-question]Boston - To go or not to go, that is the question. | Ask MetaFilter[/url]

[Too defensive of my hometown. Moved away 8 years ago.]
posted by [URL="http://www.metafilter.com/user/40092"]one_bean[/URL] at [URL="http://ask.metafilter.com/75403/Boston-To-go-or-not-to-go-that-is-the-question#1120654"]11:52 AM[/URL] on November 4, 2007

I guess I'm not the only one who feels the prices are too high or the transportation system is awful, or that Bostonians would rather have transfer students leave, as that former Bostonian was so kind to point out.

Originally Posted by lrfox

Once again, why on earth do you feel your college experience is reflective of Massachusetts college experiences in general? Are you really so arrogant as to presume that your two semesters as non-traditional student at North Shore Community College are a good measuring stick for everyone going to college in Massachusetts? With all due respect (and I have very little for you after reading your rant about how terrible people from Massachusetts are), you're out of your mind. Enjoy Phoenix and good riddance.

A Few Reasons Why I Hate Boston and You Should Too at hectorhector.com (http://www.hectorhector.com/a-few-reason-why-i-hate-boston-and-you-should-too/ - broken link)
More Reasons why Boston sucks at hectorhector.com (http://www.hectorhector.com/more-reasons-why-boston-sucks/comment-page-2/ - broken link)

After browsing the sites above, and talking to many transplants like myself, yes, I do feel I did get the general feeling of college life in MA. And no, you did read my post. Because I did not rant about people in MA in the fifth paragraph:

[/quote]And I've met many friendly people in MA, and from other parts of New England. I, myself, am reserved, and I don't always strike up a conversation with every person on the street but I was pleasantly surprised to meet people in Rockport ask me how I was doing, compliment me on my clothes, offer to drive me to the train station when I was walking down Granite Street in the cold rain, strike up general conversations when I'm just sitting on a bench on Front Beach, and after losing my keys near Whistlestop Mall I was shocked to find out that the old man with the cane who found them, walked several blocks to give them to the police station. I've also met pleasant characters, who own local restaurants, at the train station in Beverly, on the street, at the Lynn and Gloucester libraries, and so many other places on the North Shore. I can understand how other transplants might have a negative feeling toward Mass-folks. But I don't take it to heart when I realize that people in that state are just as cold, unfriendly, and rude toward each other as they are to transplants, and they aren't showing any preference for locals over transplants. Still, I can understand if people are angry, and I wish they had as many pleasant experiences with these so-called "M***holes" as I have.[/quote]

You obviously did not read my post otherwise you would have noticed I wasn't ranting MA people but the college social scene. Maybe you should have read that instead of playing internet spell-checker. And yes, I will enjoy the Phoenix. Thanks for wishing me a good riddance.

P.S. I actually had a good experience with many of the cougars in MA, but I hated the college girls. I guess MA women only mellow when they get older.

[The Shizzle]

Originally Posted by Beachcomber4

Thanks for the laugh. I don't know what I think is funnier- a 25 year old community college student who is upset that people don't want to "hang out" (many community college students have to work to pay for school), the fact that you think that 8 months at a community college gives you enough insight to define the entire Massachusetts college experience or your screen name. The Shizzle.

Originally Posted by holden125

Um, thanks for sharing?
I had a job too. I worked five days a week in addition to taking five courses (art, graphic production, english composition, digital page layout, accounting). I like to hang out to relieve the stress of work. What's wrong with wanting to socialize in order to relieve stress?

I'm truly sorry you didn't enjoy your time here, but you come from Michigan and spent two semesters at North Shore C.C. and that's what your broad generalizations are based on? I have to go with LR on this one.

Based on experiences with other Mass. community colleges, and "community" college elsewhere, I imagine most students at that school have pretty much lived in the immediate vicinity their whole life, and already knew a lot of the people at the college before they started. It's not surprising they weren't necessarily looking to hook up with a 25-year old from Michigan. It's also not exactly representative of going to a school (other than Harvard) in, say, Boston itself.

Mass. is home to a whole host of community colleges, state colleges, and UMass Amherst, Boston, Dartmouth and Lowell. It's also got Harvard and MIT and a ton of other colleges. BC, BU, Simmons, Wheelock, Emmanuel, Wentworth, Northeastern, Emmanuel, Berklee, Suffolk, Emerson, Fisher, Tufts, Lesley, Curry, Lassell, Mt. Ida, Brandeis, Bentley, Regis, Babson, Wellesley, Holy Cross, WPI, Clark, Assumption, Mass. Maritime, Amherst, Williams, Mt. Holyoke, Hampshire, Stonehill, Wheaton, Woods Hole Institute, Bard, and I'm sure a ton of others I'm forgetting. I'm sure not everyone has loved their experience going to school in Mass. but there are millions of satisfied customers and plenty of those schools are very good.

And why were you trying to pick someone up at Walmart?

I agree, maybe I was a little too harsh on the academic prospects of the college. But my experience with the local college kids (particularly the females) was thorougly miserable. I met many easygoing transplants however, and when I spoke with them they had the same complaints: hard to get to know local college kids, the inconvenience of the commuter rail, not enough of a social scene, even in Cambridge and Boston, and feeling that paying $800 for a rundown studio in Salem was too steep.

By the way, I was trying to pick up chicks at Walmart because I'm used to meeting people anywhere. I highly recommend you go to a state where the people aren't so defensive. I'd rather meet a girl doing regular things rather than spending cash on an overrated nightclub with mediocre drinks, snobby food, and loud, intrusive music. Go to Atlanta, GA to meet people. I have a friend who lives there and when I visited him I actually got phone numbers from women just by taking out the garbage. No lie!

Originally Posted by GypsySoul22

What the heck?
Maybe your experience was bad and odd from what you are used to but if MA college experience is so bad, then how do you explain Harvard, MIT, UMASS and more..

Boston is a college town...!
Maybe you need to go to a party school. Some people might actually be interested in getting an EDUCATION...

But I'm a 25 yr old man who joined the Air Force because the military was the only way to pay for my education. A whole bunch of people who went to college told me college was an exciting experience: partying, meeting people, acting wild, in addition to getting an education to better your future (they didn't go to college in MA, obviously).

I see you believe partying while getting an education is not important but most people believe otherwise. I know 25 is older than the regular college crowd but it's not that big of a gap. Besides, I've met many other people my age in college here too. Why shouldn't they want to party?

[ogre]

Shizzle, let me say a couple of positive things before responding to your posts:

First, I appreciate your taking the time to check back on this thread. Too often it seems that people whose opening posts are strongly critical of the state in question (or some facet of life in that state) never come back and actually engage in a discussion, but simply rant in that one post, then are never heard from again, while they leave behind a thread likely to stir up bad feeling. I do appreciate the fact that you've come back and engaged in some actual discussion.

Second, regarding your stint in the Air Force, let me thank you for your service to our country. Like many, I am grateful for the readiness of those in the military to work at keeping as all safe in a troubled world.

More specifically regarding your opening post, I noticed that you said your brother lives in MA, and that he was the person who encouraged you to move here for college. I'm curious about whether you've discussed your feelings about this experience with him, and how he might have explained life in this area.

One of my own thoughts about your opening post centers on the fact that your first experience in college was in your home state, that, plus your observation that the MA students at North Shore already had established circles of local friends. I'm guessing that these two facts explain a lot of the difference between your experiences at the two colleges. I don't know whether you're from the vicinity of Grand Rapids, but I speculate that the difference may be largely explained by the fact that maybe at Grand Rapids C.C. you were part of a local circle of friends already established, while here you were on the outside. Maybe at Grand Rapids there were students from other states, or other parts of MI, who felt just as left out as you have felt in MA, while you were unaware of this because you were part of the local circle. The local students were friendly to you because you were one of them. In MA, it's only natural that other students from out of state were especially friendly toward you and each other, because they were all in the same boat: Be friendly or have no friends, because you don't know anyone to begin with.

I'm also going to speculate that if Grand Rapids was close to home, this may largely account for the difference in how much of a social life you had with other students. I concur with the idea others here have expressed that community college is not the place to have a big social life associated with your student experience. Students typically go to community colleges to take classes, then go home and live other areas of their lives. Maybe it didn't seem that way in Grand Rapids because you had a social life with some of your fellow students that really had nothing to do with your college life, other than for the fact that a lot of people you knew locally happened to be taking classes at the local college. Outside of that kind of cozy hometown situation, if you want the entire college experience, you need a four-year college or a university. As much as anything, this probably explains the easier time you've had so far at U. of Phoenix, which I gather is more of a full-service college when you're on campus there and not taking their on-line classes.

Of course differences in local culture may have something to do with this as well. Sometimes I think people make too much of such differences, because people are fundamentally pretty much the same anywhere you go, but this does not mean such differences don't exist. Out of the millions of people living in the Boston metro area, I'll guarantee you that there are plenty of all types, including friendly people, but the customary ways of interacting with strangers, or people you're only sort of acquainted with, such as other people in your college classes, vary from place to place. Customarily, people around here are a bit reserved until they get to know someone. This does not mean that you can't find friendly people, just that you may have to approach strangers in more of a low-key manner than you would in, say, maybe Texas, for example. This goes for the way you might approach women who catch your eye as well as any other interaction out in public. It's not too surprising that you got the cold shoulder from a girl you approached and just started conversing with out of the blue. You might get a funny reaction from a lot of people around here if you started doing that, whether or not your approach was based on attraction to the person.

By the way, it seems to me that sometimes ya gotta be realistic about the fact that not every woman out there is going to be interested under any circumstances. I'd say that if those cougars went for you, and if you were able to interact easily with many out-of-state and foreign students closer to your own age, then you had a good pool of women to potentially get to know better and maybe date, you would have done well to pursue these options, not sweat the fact that it wasn't clicking with the local girls for whatever reason. (Hey, ya know, their loss, right?) I've heard that girls in the Southwest are more laid back in their interactions with guys, often being the ones to make the first move at parties or in bars. Maybe that more easygoing view will click better with you, and you'll find that your new location works out well for you. Maybe the local customs in Boston just don't happen to click too well with you personally, especially if you're not used to them and don't know how to negotiate them. This doesn't mean there's anything wrong with those customs, or anything right or wrong with the usual way of interacting in other regions. It just means that maybe you personally will be more comfortable somewhere else.

Now, as for the fact that you're saying all those out-of-state and foreign students from other colleges in the area talked about how much they disliked going to school here, well, not having been there I can't say for sure, but I'm guessing that maybe this results more from a combination of the tendency for dissatisfied people to make more noise and possibly a tendency for you to be especially aware of comments by those who shared your feelings than from a widespread dissatisfaction by the area's students about their college experience.

Something you mentioned in your last post caught my attention. This was when you said that twenty-five is not so much older than the usual age for college students. While this is true, I've spent a lot of years around college campuses, in one role or another (I'm something of a professional student, and have also worked at a couple of colleges), and I can tell you that the younger students may actually regard you as being older. This is just based on my observations around college campuses, and does not mean that no college kid will want to socialzie with you, but just that you might want to be aware that to some of them you may seem older than you realize.

The bottom line is that no place is right for everyone. This does not mean there is anything wrong with either the place or the person when someone feels out of place in an area, just that this does not happen to be a good match. Maybe U. of Phoenix, and that local area, will be a better fit for you. So I hope that works out for you, but please don't assume MA is an awful place just because it wasn't the right place for you to be a twenty-five-year-old, ex-military community college student.