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Old 08-14-2010, 03:09 PM
 
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
26,247 posts, read 44,012,358 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Donn2390 View Post
His CCing the note to HR is also an official written notice. One or two more, depending you your company's policy, and you will be moving on down the hi way...!
so sad, but, yes this is often the case. And wimpy bosses will utilize very 'non-contact' ways to dump you.
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Old 08-14-2010, 03:20 PM
 
25,627 posts, read 32,295,740 times
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Well seeing as you have not had the decency to respond to all the nice people who have offered up some great responses maybe you do need to show some respect. Set up a meeting with the HR rep and your boss. You need to find out what the heck is going on before you can appropriately respond.
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Old 08-14-2010, 03:24 PM
 
48,508 posts, read 87,723,286 times
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The first questions is this other person your superior on the job. If it is your getting a recorded warning. If not ask what the exact complaint is in person.
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Old 08-14-2010, 03:25 PM
 
48,508 posts, read 87,723,286 times
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delete.
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Old 08-14-2010, 03:29 PM
 
Location: NH and lovin' it!
1,780 posts, read 3,557,520 times
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Something tells me you should check with your boss to see if he really sent that email. I've heard of practical jokes like that, but the other person in this little triangle could have a grudge against you and figured out a way to make it look like the boss sent it.

If you find out the boss did send it, be ready with your response. Ask for clarification and specific examples. If that is too threatening to you, go to HR and see what they can make of it.
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Old 08-14-2010, 03:50 PM
 
Location: Hermoso y tranquilo Panam√°
11,874 posts, read 9,962,780 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hnsq View Post
Don't respond via email.

Walk into your boss's office and talk to him face to face. Off the bad apologize. It doesn't matter if you think you are right or wrong. Apologize and then ask him what you could do to improve yourself.

The fact is that it doesn't matter what you think. You work for the guy and he reported you to HR for this. Do what you need to in order to earn his trust. Swallow your pride and assume he is right and you are wrong.
Quote:
Originally Posted by StealthRabbit View Post
In this case I would work through the HR person and arrange first a 3 way discussion, then a 4 way, bringing the accuser to the table in a controlled environment.
Excellent advice. Many, many years ago when I worked for a District Attorney's office I had a Chief Trial Deputy get his panties in a bunch and actually gave me the first negative review I'd ever received. I scheduled a meeting with him, as well as the District Attorney to discuss it.

When everything came out, the derrogatory mark on my review was removed, the accusing person actually apologized for over reacting and all was well in the world. Now I did do as others suggested and apologize if a "comment was misconstrued" - to me that was a good way to apologize and bury the hatchet so to speak, yet I did not have to admit to something that I was not wrong about in the first place.
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Old 08-17-2010, 07:26 AM
 
1,840 posts, read 3,785,704 times
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Thanks for the sound advice guys. So I talked to the HR lady she really didn't know what the boss was referring to either. Her knowledge of the situation doesn't extend past the email we both received. But she did think it was probably nothing. Also in this particular setup the boss is the owner of the company so there is no one higher to go to to get answers.

For now, unless another email like that one surfaces, I'm not going to address the email further.
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Old 08-18-2010, 07:09 PM
 
356 posts, read 658,234 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by c21boquetebocasgold View Post
Excellent advice. Many, many years ago when I worked for a District Attorney's office I had a Chief Trial Deputy get his panties in a bunch and actually gave me the first negative review I'd ever received. I scheduled a meeting with him, as well as the District Attorney to discuss it.

When everything came out, the derrogatory mark on my review was removed, the accusing person actually apologized for over reacting and all was well in the world. Now I did do as others suggested and apologize if a "comment was misconstrued" - to me that was a good way to apologize and bury the hatchet so to speak, yet I did not have to admit to something that I was not wrong about in the first place.
Can I ask why you agree with "Apologize and then ask him what you could do to improve yourself."? He can apologize to the boss for having to deal with the crummy situation, but generically apologizing is the same as admitting to doing something wrong. It's easily possible the issue lies with the person who feels they aren't getting respect. In my experience, those who demand respect have personal issues that are driving that concern.

OP, your boss is showing his lack of management skill by automatically assuming the complainer is the only side of the story that needs to be heard, unless he knows something first hand. At this point, you can't trust his judgement or the judgment of the person complaining, your only solid option in my opinion is to speak with HR. The 4-way conversation is best, your boss can learn that he/she has more to learn and the complainer can enjoy the awkwardness of coming up with specific example or your disrespectful behavior. My guess is that the complainer will not be able to come up with any good examples, especially under pressure.

Really sit and think for a while to make sure you are innocent. Perhaps you were joking to another coworker about fat people and the complainer is chubby? That would be disrespectful to the chubby person and you would owe an apology. Just a hypothetical situation, but make sure you're solid before you end up making an ass of yourself.

I wouldn't lie down and take this one unless I were guilty, otherwise it's something they can stick in your file which may be used against you at a later date.

Edit: Ignore everything I said if this is a small company!
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Old 08-18-2010, 08:09 PM
 
Location: Under a bridge.
3,196 posts, read 4,974,787 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by recuerdeme View Post
So the boss has basically said that I'm not showing respect to a fellow employee.

Quote from boss:
"Please show Employee X the same amount of respect as you would me"

He sent this in an email to me and the HR lady. I'm tempted to respond. Because I have no clue why he would send the email. I feel I should reply with this "I treat everyone with the same amount of respect". Because it kind of attacking my character and that's no good.

What say ye all? Let it roll off my back and say O... K... or defend myself because I don't want him to get the idea that I'm a disrespectful presence.. or whatever the case may be.

If you don't respond your future at the company is very limited.
If you respond in any negative way, your future will be even shorter.

What you need to do is say, "I am sorry if my abrupt behavior upset anyone. I will do my best to inprove my inter-personal relationships. Thank you for bringing this to my attention before annual reviews are due. Thank you."

Then: fix the situation--whether its your fault or not. Be humble--then you will probably keep your job.
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Old 08-19-2010, 05:45 AM
 
544 posts, read 1,330,465 times
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I think this would work better if you set your own ego and defensiveness aside (assuming you have any; I'm not suggesting you do, necessarily) and approach it from the boss's perspective. People can always be counted on to do what (they perceive) is best for them and their families--which is at it should be.

It may be that he was just having a bad moment when he emailed that, or he may have meant it for someone else. So I'd casually drop by his office and ask him, "do you have a minute to visit with me?" And be prepared for him (I assume it's a "him") not to. But be friendly and nice. And then if he lets you come in, just say that you were concerned that you had hurt someone's feelings and couldn't for the life of you think of who it was, but never wanted or intended to do that.

If you handle it right, you can be better friends than before. Of course, if he's an inconsolable JERK or has emotional, drug or alcohol, or other serious problems, I'd start looking for another job. This economy is very hard on business owners; if you can present as a help to him, this would be the best long term strategy for both of you.

Just my .02

Good luck!
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