Is California one of the worst states to raise kids? (San Diego: crime, home)

[sav858]

Originally Posted by cobmw

SLO County has top notch schools? Wish it were true. What do you base your statement on? Can you refer me to test scores or college entrance results that would substantiate this? From the research that I have done SLO school test scores are lower than other predominantly white areas of the state. And those other areas have nothing to brag about either.

The only schools in CA that I have found with truly outstanding test scores are those with large Asian populations. There are very few exceptions - the charter school in Santa Cruz being one exception that I know about.

Do you have more information other than annecdotal insight? Many parents believe that the school in their area is good. But they have never looked closely at the test results. Do you have any factual data?

pretty much most upper middle class suburbs have very good schools. I went to elementary and middle school in the Walnut Creek School District and High School in the Acalanes Union High School District. All were great schools, look up th stats if you'd like but generally upper middle class and wealthy suburbs have the best schools.

[skippy22]

i grew up in what is an ideal town. small country town where everyone knows your name and the last 4 generations of your family. but i wouldnt raise my kids in california. even in my small town gangs are becoming an issue. drugs has always been here. drinking was an acceptable past time that teachers wouldnt care about nor would parents to often. things are WAY to expensive right now. i'm in my 20's and i cant afford to live on my own unless i'm working more then one job and have a roomie if i want to go to school....
think of your childs future. cali may look good now but what will it do for your kids in the future?
just my opinion =)

[LexusNexus]

Originally Posted by hsw

Prob one of best places in world to raise kids is SiliconValley, esp nr PaloAlto....

Lots of local role-models of high educational/career achievement at a young age....

One can appreciate both the value of an education....and the limits of value of any education, as many of the smartest/wealthiest tech guys are Stanford dropouts....

Yes, ideal place if you're white and can afford it.

[wclac]

Now, what does race have to do with having kids at a certain area?

Originally Posted by Alexus

Yes, ideal place if you're white and can afford it.

[dougnaie]

I am a 3rd generation California native with 2 daughters. We sent our oldest to boarding school in the east and we are currently in the process of relocating the rest of the family back east as well. Trust me when I say that this was not an easy choice to make. I love CA, but in my opinion it is time to go. I could ramble on for the variety of reasons that influenced our decision, but as this question is about raising children here, I will just speak to that.

We have found over time that CA is a harsh place to raise kids, although we are white and do have money. I can see where people think that makes everything ok, as that seems to be the key to success, at least according to previous posts, but frankly those two criteria are not the magic key for us. You know why? - because let's admit it, it sure doesn't hurt - because basic lack of civility, manners and core values transcend color and economic status.

I am tired of the focus on looks and money as the measure of success for my girls. I do not want them to think that how skinny they are, what kind of car they drive, how much money their dad makes and where we live are some kind of litmus test for who they are. I hate the lack of focus on education, real education mind you, not the teach to the test kind that leaves no child behind. I do not think reading People magazine and being able to name Brad and Angelina's should pass for being well-read. I do not think seeing Pineapple Express takes the place of real culture.

I am tired of the kids here thinking they are my equal, calling me by my first name without invitation, giving what I am wearing the once over and failing to use even the most basic manners. I am perplexed at the kid centered family that has sort of taken over, where every need is met without question. You want a new car? Here you go. More clothes and shoes and bags and.....no problem. You don't want to get a job scooping ice cream? It's ok, I don't expect you to. I think the lack of personal responsibility has made monsters out of the kids I know, and I just cannot have my children surrounded by that any more. Their friends are spoiled snots, and the parents are worse.

That could be anywhere USA, you say? I realize that, honestly I do. BUT, I will say that in the 8 years we have been going back and forth to the east coast, and particularly since my daughter started school there 2 years ago, it is like a return to the old fashioned values and civilities that I remember being raised with. And not just at her prep school either, where one could claim money and "whiteness" as reasons. I am talking about the teenager who holds the door open for me at the Dunkin Donuts, the kids in the movie theater who say excuse me when they need to get by, the girls who are "regular" size and not wearing gobs of make up and driving a BMW.

I don't know what happened to CA, and this is an issue we can't blame on immigration (although we can blame lot's of other issues on that). Maybe it is because it is an industry town, maybe it is media driven, who knows. In many ways I blame the parents, boomers who are still trying to look young themselves who want to be friends with their kids at all costs and somewhere along the way forgot to teach their kids how to be good people instead of self involved Starbuck's drinking idiots.

So can you raise your children here? Sure you can, and good luck to you..you will need it. I, however, am not buying it anymore, and will not be.

[wclac]

I'm not having children anyway, so I don't have to worry it.

Originally Posted by dougnaie

I am a 3rd generation California native with 2 daughters. We sent our oldest to boarding school in the east and we are currently in the process of relocating the rest of the family back east as well. Trust me when I say that this was not an easy choice to make. I love CA, but in my opinion it is time to go. I could ramble on for the variety of reasons that influenced our decision, but as this question is about raising children here, I will just speak to that.

We have found over time that CA is a harsh place to raise kids, although we are white and do have money. I can see where people think that makes everything ok, as that seems to be the key to success, at least according to previous posts, but frankly those two criteria are not the magic key for us. You know why? - because let's admit it, it sure doesn't hurt - because basic lack of civility, manners and core values transcend color and economic status.

I am tired of the focus on looks and money as the measure of success for my girls. I do not want them to think that how skinny they are, what kind of car they drive, how much money their dad makes and where we live are some kind of litmus test for who they are. I hate the lack of focus on education, real education mind you, not the teach to the test kind that leaves no child behind. I do not think reading People magazine and being able to name Brad and Angelina's should pass for being well-read. I do not think seeing Pineapple Express takes the place of real culture.

I am tired of the kids here thinking they are my equal, calling me by my first name without invitation, giving what I am wearing the once over and failing to use even the most basic manners. I am perplexed at the kid centered family that has sort of taken over, where every need is met without question. You want a new car? Here you go. More clothes and shoes and bags and.....no problem. You don't want to get a job scooping ice cream? It's ok, I don't expect you to. I think the lack of personal responsibility has made monsters out of the kids I know, and I just cannot have my children surrounded by that any more. Their friends are spoiled snots, and the parents are worse.

That could be anywhere USA, you say? I realize that, honestly I do. BUT, I will say that in the 8 years we have been going back and forth to the east coast, and particularly since my daughter started school there 2 years ago, it is like a return to the old fashioned values and civilities that I remember being raised with. And not just at her prep school either, where one could claim money and "whiteness" as reasons. I am talking about the teenager who holds the door open for me at the Dunkin Donuts, the kids in the movie theater who say excuse me when they need to get by, the girls who are "regular" size and not wearing gobs of make up and driving a BMW.

I don't know what happened to CA, and this is an issue we can't blame on immigration (although we can blame lot's of other issues on that). Maybe it is because it is an industry town, maybe it is media driven, who knows. In many ways I blame the parents, boomers who are still trying to look young themselves who want to be friends with their kids at all costs and somewhere along the way forgot to teach their kids how to be good people instead of self involved Starbuck's drinking idiots.

So can you raise your children here? Sure you can, and good luck to you..you will need it. I, however, am not buying it anymore, and will not be.

[CA central coast]

I don't blame anyone for leaving. If my entire family/support system wasn't here, I most likely would leave, or not. The area I live in is expensive, but I believe SLO County is one of the nicest places to live in the U.S. Leaving is hard to imagine. But again, this state is HUGE. Blanket generalizations about this state are misleading. I'm reading one size fits all posts on here. I think some people need to venture out a bit. Yes, CA can be expensive. You don't have to absolutely have to be "rich" to have a good life here. I don't buy that. How can you compare life in Alturas to life in L.A.? These generalizations are lame.

[wclac]

It irritates me that some people always involves race. I personally think if people are young and childless in LA, they shouldn't have children. And if they do, they should go to another city or better yet, another state. California is the largest state in the union and the state doesn't need more people to produce more trouble.

Originally Posted by CA central coast

I don't blame anyone for leaving. If my entire family/support system wasn't here, I most likely would leave, or not. The area I live in is expensive, but I believe SLO County is one of the nicest places to live in the U.S. Leaving is hard to imagine. But again, this state is HUGE. Blanket generalizations about this state are misleading. I'm reading one size fits all posts on here. I think some people need to venture out a bit. Yes, CA can be expensive. You don't have to absolutely have to be "rich" to have a good life here. I don't buy that. How can you compare life in Alturas to life in L.A.? These generalizations are lame.

[Zapparulez]

If you are a good parent then its a fine place to raise a kid. The problem with California is that there are a lot of horrible parents here...a product of poor education and the nanny state mentality.

[City Boy]

Originally Posted by skippy22

i grew up in what is an ideal town. small country town where everyone knows your name and the last 4 generations of your family. but i wouldnt raise my kids in california. even in my small town gangs are becoming an issue. drugs has always been here. drinking was an acceptable past time that teachers wouldnt care about nor would parents to often. things are WAY to expensive right now. i'm in my 20's and i cant afford to live on my own unless i'm working more then one job and have a roomie if i want to go to school....
think of your childs future. cali may look good now but what will it do for your kids in the future?
just my opinion =)

People say this stuff every generation. Oh the gangs, oh the future. Then nothing happens. You cant run from reality.