Anyone go back and forth from East to West Coast? (San Diego: apartment, house)

[dani-california130]

HI. My husband and I met in San Francisco in college in 2001. He is form LA and I from NY. We moved to Ny in 2002 and then back to LA area in 2005. We had a baby last summer and I swore up and down I needed to be by my family. So with that we relocated yet again back to NY in 2008. Now, here we are, neither of us thrilled by our apartment. He doesnt like his job, we both dislike the weather. We both want to come back to Cali. We have friends and his family there but the decision gets tricky because I get alot of help (if I want or need it from my mother) with our little one.

Let me just say that my parents are looking to retire and move down south , probably NC area and we are not interested in moving there.

Lifestyle wise we love CA both North and South. We love being outdoors and I have always found it easy to meet and make friends there. I actually consider myself to "fit" better in the CA lifestyle then in NY where I am from.

I am just torn about having my baby grow up without close family. My husbands family would not be as helpful or as involved. We want to stop going back and forth. We are tired of moving. Has anyone moved back and forth and struggled with the same types of issues? What and How did you ultimately decide?

Any feedback would be helpful and appreciated!

[NYSD1995]

I grew up in NY suburbs and have lived in San Diego for 15 years. I make 2 or 3 trips a year back to NY. This year we are spending a few weeks at our familiy's house in the Hamptons which is my favorite place in the world.

15 years later. I am still torn. I have an 11-month old baby and grandma is far away. I miss NY a lot but I am not sure I want to live there again. At the same time I feel I have outgrown San Diego and am looking to move on.

We are considering lower-cost locations (i.e. Colorado) that would allow us to buy a home large enough to support extended visits from the grandparents. We have adapted to not having grandma around to take care of the kiddos.

[dani-california130]

So I guess the idea of moving and finally feeling like I made the "right" decision is illusive (sp?). I think I would adapt although I know I would be hurting alot of people by moving back out west. We have looked at other places but California always seems to be the best choice, as far as how it makes us feel. I agree I loved visiting NY when I was in CA but I didnt long to live there the way I long to live in CA when I live here.

[NYSD1995]

Originally Posted by dani-california130

So I guess the idea of moving and finally feeling like I made the "right" decision is illusive (sp?). I think I would adapt although I know I would be hurting alot of people by moving back out west. We have looked at other places but California always seems to be the best choice, as far as how it makes us feel. I agree I loved visiting NY when I was in CA but I didnt long to live there the way I long to live in CA when I live here.

To be honest, if my wife (who is from CA) wanted to move there, we would probably move back to NY (not the city). Although CA is better in a lot of ways I think NY is a better place to raise kids.