Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I sit here and think... The more I ponder it. Even though the treatment was successful in this case the fact that some continue to worry to live in fear only does one thing. It shows that the cancer is still winnig the battle. It might not by physically at this time, it is winning in the mind.
By worrying I am not talking about the qualms that come up come checkup time, that is following due diligence. But the parlyzing fear that manifests itself in ugly ways.
I sit here and think... The more I ponder it. Even though the treatment was successful in this case the fact that some continue to worry to live in fear only does one thing. It shows that the cancer is still winnig the battle. It might not by physically at this time, it is winning in the mind.
By worrying I am not talking about the qualms that come up come checkup time, that is following due diligence. But the parlyzing fear that manifests itself in ugly ways.
So very true! I refuse to let cancer win. Sure, it may kill me, but it's not taking my LIFE/Living away from me right now.
Well, as I said in my OP, and everyone seems to have forgotten:
>> I'm not so much afraid of dying, or even afraid of pain, it's the logistics of it. What will happen if I become so disabled I can't take care of my own affairs? who will pay the bills? who will take care of my cats?
I have a little trouble seeing cancer as an entity, or anthropormorphizing it. It's a biological event, nothing more. And as an atheist, I don't fear death any more than I fear sleeping; I think when you die, you're gone and that's the end of it.
I was told by several posters when I started in this forum that if i wanted to rant and rave, I could, and they "would be here for you." That is not actually the case though; I was criticized for "ranting" and "whining" and not one single person defended me. So please don't tell new posters that, because it's just not true.
One last time: be careful when you rant or go off on people. It is never wise to alienate those who want to help you. Be it family, friends, doctors, nurses and the like.
When you start attacking people or pontificating, peole get tired of it in a hurry. Along the lines of "don't defecate where you eat." It has happened several times around here. It is something some of us have privatly discussed, we have seeminly come to a simular conclusion. Remember when you dump on someone then attack them, they only tollerate so much before they have enough.
One last time: be careful when you rant or go off on people. It is never wise to alienate those who want to help you. Be it family, friends, doctors, nurses and the like.
When you start attacking people or pontificating, peole get tired of it in a hurry. Along the lines of "don't defecate where you eat." It has happened several times around here. It is something some of us have privatly discussed, we have seeminly come to a simular conclusion. Remember when you dump on someone then attack them, they only tollerate so much before they have enough.
Food for thought.
I apologize if you feel I was attacking you personally. These kinds of misunderstandings occur all the time on the net. Holding views different than one's own is not a personal attack. If you criticize someone's views, that's only a criticism of their views, not a personal attack. A personal attack (ad hominem attack) is criticizing someone personally.
What usually happens is that people take a criticism of their views, as a personal attack, and then respond with an ad hominem attack. I've seen it over and over again.
Please refer me to any post that was a personal attack against you??
I was told by several posters when I started in this forum that if i wanted to rant and rave, I could, and they "would be here for you." That is not actually the case though; I was criticized for "ranting" and "whining" and not one single person defended me. So please don't tell new posters that, because it's just not true.
I want to say something and hope that I say it correctly. I don't want it to be perceived as critical or negative or mean and I hope it is said in a way that helps EVERYONE understand how comments on a forum sometimes can be perceived. And I say this with the upmost respect and with intent to be helpful. (I know - that's a lot of preface, but I wanted to make sure that what I say will be understood.)
I believe that many regular posters in the cancer forum HAVE been here for you in many ways. I know that I was one of them. In my public posts to you and in my private messages, I have tried to be helpful and supportive. We are on the same journey through cancer and I thought that my experiences, advice and thoughts could be helpful to you. They were offered to you, and others, in that spirit.
On a few occasions, they were returned by you with what I considered unfriendly reactions ... almost a "biting the hand that was feeding you" kind of response. Your reactions to my thoughts basically told me to mind my own business and that my messages were unwelcome. Though they came at a time when you may have been emotionally compromised, I decided to stop offering any of my experience and really didn't post here very often at all. That was my decision and is no one's fault but my own.
In general, I advise everyone who posts here to understand that when they share fears, feelings, experiences and opinions, they need to expect that others who post here will respond with their thoughts on what you post. We all need to understand that once we say it, someone will come along and agree or disagree or challenge or empathize or react in some way that might be considered positive, negative or neutral. It's part of life on a forum.
In terms of coming to your defense, can you tell us exactly what it was that you wanted us to defend? If it's your right to speak freely, that's constitutional protected (within the scope of City-Data's terms of service) and needs no defense. If it's something else, you'll need to let us know, because I don't understand.
By the way, as the topic is "fear of cancer returning" and as I have not posted here in a long while, I am fully aware that while remission is a wonderful thing, I know all too well that it only takes one questionable PET scan result to turn life upside again. I have no fears. I kicked cancer's a$$ once and I'm very prepared to kick it's a$$ again! As you've all seen me say, attitude is everything!
I apologize if you feel I was attacking you personally. These kinds of misunderstandings occur all the time on the net. Holding views different than one's own is not a personal attack. If you criticize someone's views, that's only a criticism of their views, not a personal attack. A personal attack (ad hominem attack) is criticizing someone personally.
What usually happens is that people take a criticism of their views, as a personal attack, and then respond with an ad hominem attack. I've seen it over and over again.
Please refer me to any post that was a personal attack against you??
You did the same thing with the "god bless you thread." The posts have been deleted. The unwillingness of you to admit culpability and realize your role. You love to delve out criticism and can't accept it... You somehow feel that was ad hominem when someone does give you rebuttal.
You bit the hands that have tried to help you more than enough. You still feel the need to be confrontational about it.
Moderator cut: not allowed
Last edited by SouthernBelleInUtah; 10-03-2012 at 03:10 PM..
You did the same thing with the "god bless you thread." The posts have been deleted. The unwillingness of you to admit culpability and realize your role. You love to delve out criticism and can't accept it... You somehow feel that was ad hominem when someone does give you rebuttal.
You bit the hands that have tried to help you more than enough. You still feel the need to be confrontational about it.
Honestly, you need help, beyond what any forum may offer. I'd suggest a licensed counselor.
Okay; well, let's stay on issues, and not personalities?
Realtors are welcome here but do see our Realtor Advice to avoid infractions.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
