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A man in my office was diagnosed with cancer a few months ago. He talks about it a lot. Just as casual conversation in the break room. He talks about how he spends a lot of money on medication and has to always take time off to go to different drs appointments. He just randomly talks to random people in the office about it. Even if it’s work related, he tries to sneak it into the conversation somehow. Is this normal? I have never met anyone with cancer that likes to openly discuss it like this. Most of them like to totally avoid it.. I understand “venting” but to always bring it into the convo?
I did. It's a big part of your life. The biggest, in fact, for many of us. There's no reason to hide it - it's not something to be ashamed of. While cancer might not seem casual to you, when you're going through months of chemo or other treatments, it DOES become a casual topic. Life doesn't stop just because you have cancer, even if it does occupy a lot of mental real estate. I had to remind coworkers who did not work in my immediate office of my schedule or that I might take longer to complete requests because of my treatment schedule.
I wouldn't drop it into conversation, but if asked what I did that weekend, I would have told you it was a chemo weekend so I watched a lot of Netflix. I might have even asked for recommendations! I also kept a very detailed blog that my bosses forwarded to my office in case people really wanted to know the nitty gritty. That helped stave off some of the awkward questions I'd get in the office.
I did. I was a supervisor and folks could tell that something wasn't right when I was diagnosed. I announced it in a very matter of fact way in a staff meeting. Soon, the whole darn organization knew. It actually made my life easier because people were very nice to me. I tended to work some long hours so I would actually get nagged to go home. People were incredibly supportive.
I've known others who haven't told anyone but it is obvious that something is wrong. It is like that big white elephant in the room and you don't know what to say.
One caveat though.. Even though I told folks, I didn't dwell on it nor wish to talk about my illness 24 x 7.
I think it is natural to talk about it, especially when you are first diagnosed. It is scary, you think you are the only one who has faced the big C and I think it is better to be open then to keep your feelings all bottled up. No, you have to learn not to bore people with every detail and you have to be interested in others as well, but obviously it isn't something one just blows off.
I think it just depends on the person. Some people seem to want to talk about it a lot, others do not. When I was going through treatments, I had both kinds of days. Some days I needed to talk about it, other days I didn't want to say or hear the C-word.
It can definitely get uncomfortable and/or annoying when someone brings up the same topic all the time. I would just try to be patient... hopefully as time passes and he finishes the bulk of his treatment, he will feel the need to bring it up less often.
I'm one of those "My life is an open book" type of people, but I've found that I spend a minimal amount of time talking about this and most certainly haven't put anything on facebook or even told all of my friends. It just feels more real when I talk about it and I guess I'm in denial but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Studies have shown that those who live longest post-dx are those who take control of treatment options (no big surprise) and those who are in denial. I teach school and after I told the students I just kind of left it at that. I do take some medically prescribed super vitamins though and they've begun watching for my niacin flush every day at first hour--they're so amused to see me turn lobster red! And yes, despite being in denial, I spend about 90% of my waking hours thinking about it but also thinking about how great life will be when this is over.
No, cancer is not something I talk about. When I was diagnosed with uterine cancer it was obvious people didn't know what to say, how to react, and were uncomfortable around me. This man sounds like he may not have a good support system to vent and is using the people at work to do this. Keep in mind it is devastating to hear that you have cancer, and I think it is healthy to talk about it, but it is best to talk to people that can relate, work in the field, or are very close to you.
I think that you should absolutely make your supervisor/manager aware, and then it is your choice who else you choose to share it with. We had one man in my group on on leave due to illness, and the manager of the team was informed only the day before. She felt it was unprofessional to not give the team the professional courtesy of a heads-up in order to manage resources/staffing.
It took me a while to adjust, cope, process what I went through. It took about a year before I could talk about my experience.
this is how my dtr is now--will not talk about it
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