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My dh was just diagnosed with renal cell carcinoma. He is scheduled for surgery Oct 2 at MDAnderson, which is about a 2 hour drive. Its on a Friday, so, we plan to leave Thursday afternoon, stay overnight, surgery Friday, stay in hospital Sat & Sun, doctor said to plan on at least 2 days, then, I don't know when dh can return to work. Its a laproscope, so it shouldn't be too invasive. We don't know when/if to "tell" employer he has cancer. We're hoping he will just need a few days off work, so perhaps no explanation is necessary, Once we "announce" the cancer dx, there's no retracting it.
Right now, they're talking layoffs at work, so we are hesitant to give them a reason to consider letting him go. For those of you who had cancer while employed, how did you handle disclosing the information to your employer?
I'm somewhat disappointed no one has responded to this thread. I'm sure dealing with employment while pursuing cancer treatment is an issue for many. I was hoping to start a discussion here, other's experiences, suggestions, etc.
We've decided not to disclose the diagnosis yet, wait until we have to. Right now, we are so blessed that world-class treatment is just within a day's drive, and shouldn't interfere with his work schedule too much. Hopefully things will work our smoothly. Keeping one's employment is a major issue while dealing with health problems, I know from my own personal experience.
Last edited by MaryleeII; 08-31-2015 at 06:13 PM..
Most of us don't check here daily as it's a slower subforum and, frankly, sparks fears in most of us who are past it.
Personally, I worked full time through chemo against doctor's orders because I had no choice - I had just turned 23 and had very limited savings having graduated from college 6 months before. My supervisors were involved from day one, even coming with me to my CT scan the day my PCP told me the swelling I had was almost 100% lymphoma. I was just out of college, living 1000 miles from my parents (who ended up quite unsupportive in all regards), and didn't have a car, so my closest coworkers became like a surrogate family to get me through it. One of my supervisors even came with me to my first post-dx appointment with my oncologist and came armed with a list of questions. It's not every day your boss of 4 months grills your doctor about your future fertility!
Because my desk was very visible and I had been advised that I would lose my hair, I was very open about what I was going through. My first day of chemo, my supervisors emailed the whole office with a link to my blog, asking them to please treat me like normal during the work day and to look for health updates on the blog rather than asking me. My supervisors worked out a leave plan with the head of my division (one of the most powerful people in my organization) because I only had a few days of sick time banked up and had not been working for a year yet to qualify for FMLA. Everyone was really kind and flexible in making sure that not only I would get paid regardless of what happened, but also that I would still feel meaningful at work. In fact, some of my best work in that role came during the 6 months I was in treatment as a result of the support.
In your husband's situation, your decision seems prudent. If he won't miss much work, there's no real point in saying anything.
Cancer and Careers is a great resource no matter where you are in treatment or in your career.
Most of us don't check here daily as it's a slower subforum and, frankly, sparks fears in most of us who are past it.
Personally, I worked full time through chemo against doctor's orders because I had no choice - I had just turned 23 and had very limited savings having graduated from college 6 months before. My supervisors were involved from day one, even coming with me to my CT scan the day my PCP told me the swelling I had was almost 100% lymphoma. I was just out of college, living 1000 miles from my parents (who ended up quite unsupportive in all regards), and didn't have a car, so my closest coworkers became like a surrogate family to get me through it. One of my supervisors even came with me to my first post-dx appointment with my oncologist and came armed with a list of questions. It's not every day your boss of 4 months grills your doctor about your future fertility!
Because my desk was very visible and I had been advised that I would lose my hair, I was very open about what I was going through. My first day of chemo, my supervisors emailed the whole office with a link to my blog, asking them to please treat me like normal during the work day and to look for health updates on the blog rather than asking me. My supervisors worked out a leave plan with the head of my division (one of the most powerful people in my organization) because I only had a few days of sick time banked up and had not been working for a year yet to qualify for FMLA. Everyone was really kind and flexible in making sure that not only I would get paid regardless of what happened, but also that I would still feel meaningful at work. In fact, some of my best work in that role came during the 6 months I was in treatment as a result of the support.
In your husband's situation, your decision seems prudent. If he won't miss much work, there's no real point in saying anything.
Cancer and Careers is a great resource no matter where you are in treatment or in your career.
Thanks for the information! I feel, too, that one shouldn't dwell on any health problem, be it cancer, rheumatoid, etc. Its great your supervisor made a pre-emptive strike about asking you about it all the time. I have rheumatoid, and got soooooo sick of co-workers needling me about it constantly. We didn't have the Internet back then, so it wasn't possible to set up a blog I could refer others to follow.
People with health problems are not especially "welcome" in the work place. Employers worry about increased health care premiums, fellow employees get snarky complaining they have to fill in for you---forgetting we all take sick days once in awhile and there were plenty of times I filled in for them, employers are hesitant to promote you if they fear your ability to keep up with additional responsibilities, etc, etc.
I've learned to fear employers, since they hold the strings for my insurance. Despite what ACA says, it still doesn't have the kinks worked out. think it best to keep the DX to ourselves unless it becomes necessary to disclose it, which we hope will work out so that's not necessary.
How about your husband just indicating to his employer that he is going to be out for a few days for a medical procedure? You don't have to specify what or where. Of course, that would probably invite inquiries, but if someone asks "what's he having done?" right out the gate (which is somewhat invasive, IMO), you would have to response.
Do you know your his employer's policy on sick time versus STD? For some large companies, policy specifies that if a person is going to be out with illness for even a relatively short time period (sometimes as low as 5 days), then employment status is supposed to be changed to STD, and accrued sick time would be used to pay them for those days. Personally, a timeframe such as that seems pretty low for a medical disability status, but I did work for one company where that was the threshold.
I don't see any point in telling anyone about it until you have the particulars hammered out, like what kind of time commitment the treatment will take. Like you said, you can't retract and the fewer people that know, the better I think, b/c everyone gets this "isn't it horrible" attitude and you really don't need that right now.
It depends on the company's sick leave/disability policy. It also depends on the size of the company. If the company is large enough it is required by the federal government to comply with the family medical leave act. Cancer is a qualifying FMLA event.
It depends on the company's sick leave/disability policy. It also depends on the size of the company. If the company is large enough it is required by the federal government to comply with the family medical leave act. Cancer is a qualifying FMLA event.
Yes, he would qualify for FMLA, but most people who take FMLA are let go the day the leave ends. I know of 6 cases where the employee took FMLA for documented, legit medical reasons. The day the leave ran out they got notice they were let go. Also, you don't get paid during FMLA, and your employer doesn't cover your insurance. You can carry cobra, if you can afford it. We carried cobra a few times in the past, it was something like $1200/month!
Thanks for the suggestions, I don't want to sound like a Debbie Downer, but this is the beginning of the end of a decent life for us. That's what health /medical problems do to one---
It sounds like this procedure is fairly minor as these things go and then he'll be back to normal after recovery with no need for further treatment. Is that the case? I don't think FMLA needs to be invoked quite yet. This should be covered by normal sick time - he can say he is going in for a minor procedure but there are a few days of rest required. Pretty normal - people of all ages need things like back surgery or gallbladders removed.
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