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My FIL is now in the hospital and has been told by a doctor that most likely he has bladder cancer.
Right now, he is weak and they cannot operate.
He usually goes to the VA but we were waiting for an appointment. Got a surprise call today from the hospital - one of his caregivers called 911. (We are thankful).
Has anyone had a relative over the age 90 go through an operation for this type of cancer? I know I read that years ago doctors didn't even consider it but today they do.
His heart rate is elevated and his blood pressure is extremely low. Those 2 items have to stabilize before any decision.
Note: My FIL turns 94 on Tuesday. Great birthday present (being in the hospital).
TIA.
Last edited by Bette; 09-04-2016 at 08:20 PM..
Reason: Added a sentence
Both my parents ended up with cancers at 90 and 95 and no surgery, no cancer drugs just kept them comfortable to their end. They had long good lives.
I have a friend now at 95 in Oct and some kind of cancer has shown up and she wants no major therapy. She's had a great life and throwing herself a big party for her 95th in Oct.
I would think that many surgeons would not operate on someone his age, So that is my input.
He has blood in his urine and it is painful. He is a proud man and I can tell he is worried. He is also becoming more forgetful day by day.
He still lives in his own home but has 3 (wonderful) caregivers a/k/a angels.
The doctors call us every few hours. He is upset though he is not at the VA but is at a regular hospital.
I know none of us want to hear these kinds of reports or face the fact our loved ones are coming close to the end of their lives, but I also doubt many doctors would recommend surgery or any dramatic treatment on someone in their mid 90s.
My mom in law broke her hip at 96. The doctor made it clear, without surgery she would die. It was 2 days before Christmas 2001. We made the decision to allow the surgery. Yes, she lived through it but she really had no reason to want to live and died less than a month later. Quality of live has much to do with decisions to seek treatments, as much as anything.
If it were me or my father, I would ask for hospice care. Pain control is a blessing.
My mom spent her last five months of life on hospice. It is a wonderful option for those with inoperable cancers. It's much better to spend time on hospice versus spending that same time trying to recover from a surgery that did not extend a quality life.
Both my parents ended up with cancers at 90 and 95 and no surgery, no cancer drugs just kept them comfortable to their end. They had long good lives.
I have a friend now at 95 in Oct and some kind of cancer has shown up and she wants no major therapy. She's had a great life and throwing herself a big party for her 95th in Oct.
I would think that many surgeons would not operate on someone his age, So that is my input.
No one should play god though and if the person wishes to have the operation and seems fit to pull through it then why not...they might live another five to ten years... thats a lot... and no one should ever take it away. Personally though Id choose care and no surgery.. but then Im not there yet....sometimes I wonder if its to allow junior surgeons to try out their skills.. but that just my opinion..
For his birthday he is being treated medically...sounds like a nice present...not a gloomy one.
Does he still make his own health decisions? Has he created the living will for medical decisions...? I would start there...
I wish him easing comfort thru these medical decisions...
My FIL doesn't like going to doctors. He rollerbladed until age 80 and rode a bike till 87 (broke a hip; that's what stopped that!)
No, he does not make his own decisions anymore. My husband (only child) has POA. Yes, he has a Living Will and all that was done in 2013 when his sister (now gone) did hers. So thankful that part is done.
It was very hard for my husband so what happened is that my FIL had a procedure where he was out but it was not "full surgery" - it was only done today and was for comfort and to see what was really there so the doctors became rather insistent. The nurses are advising us against the full surgery and they are good to get info from. My FIL was in a lot of pain but we'll see what happens now. Very scary actually.
Since July 2015, we have seen a decline. To think, he was still driving at that time. So thankful he is not driving anymore.
FIL is drifting in and out of sleep. He is bewildered.
The doctor said the bladder is just full of cancer. He mentioned the radiation and chemo but said the result could be less than positive.
We don't know if he has had this a long time. First blood in urine was in 2014 and it was maybe 4 times that year. He seemed to get UTI's more in the past 2 years.
So, I guess we find out more this weekend.
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What he is feeling
