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So I've been dealt quite a blow. Was on a cruise in February, came home no problem, next day had a seizure, woke up in hospital in Florida with my wife and parents standing around me. loony dr comes in announcing I have stage 4 brain cancer and I will die soon
So, my wife works with a neurosurgeon, (she is an rn) I have as much as the tumor removed as possible, the neurologist that made the announcement is upset that I decided to go to ny (Sloan Kettering) for my treatment post surgery.
So, our house is empty in Florida, I'm on short term disability, I guess to be long term disability soon enough, we are living in my parents basement for now as I go through 6 weeks of treatments.
Wife and I have decided to take some trips, worried about moving back to Florida on our own though. This brain cancer is not good, hope I have longer, but probably about a year to 15 months.
I am not worried about financials for my wife, between life insurance,our cumulative savings, my retirement, and equity in the house in fl, she should have about 350k to move back to ny and buy something. She said our house is not a home without me in it.
I know what this cancer will do to me, as of now I am fine besides the scar on my head and I believe the emt's damaged my shoulder moving me.
Is it selfish though to want to go on some trips before my demise? I want to enjoy what I have left...if the chemotherapy and radiation are too much I will stop them, no worries.
I've accepted what's to come somewhat, I just don't want to be a guinea pig for the time I have left .
Last edited by ctwhitechin; 04-02-2017 at 04:15 PM..
From what I've learned the chemotherapy and radiation isn't too bad, and radiation is only a six week deal and I can always stop things. I'm thinking relaxing cruises, I could care less about shore excursions etc, but no way I'm going down without spending some green and eating whatever I want. One doctor in fl was really a bastard, almost like how dare I choose to go to ny.
So that's where I stand, I thank you for your opinions.
CT, as you probably know from your wife, some Drs seem to look only at the disease and diagnosis. They forget there is an actual human being/family attached. Sounds like the FL doc was one of those.
A friend's FIL has been working with an Oncologist that seems to be amazing as I'm sure quite a few are. When the FIL had serious problems toward the last few rounds of his chemo, the Doc suggested a few alternatives to make it easier on him. I do hope whoever you find in NY or wherever is willing to treat you on YOUR terms and suggest the best care for your physical and mental well being.
That said, go on your cruises! Enjoy the breeze in your face. Order as many entree's as your heart desires and stroll the deck with your wife watching the ocean pass by. Watch the night stars from your balcony. Do what makes you both happy!
Enjoy your time on your terms. I'm stage 3 ovarian cancer which is not curable but also came with a 5 year window (perhaps). One thing you must consider is that once chemo/radiation starts, ever getting "back to you old self" is a crap shoot. Your energy level will decrease considerably & neuropathies may follow. I had an 18 months of almost "back to normal" after 6 months of chemo following what is known as debulking surgery. Now, chemo again & debilitating loss of energy again. Foot neuropathy inhibits walking any distance.
A friend who had breast cancer with radiation treatment over 2 years ago has never gotten her energy back, though still "cancer free".
Do what you want on your own terms.
After this new round of chemo, I pray to be almost back to normal again. But this time, every day will be on my terms -- no obligations and certainly no worries about others' opinions. Selfish has no meaning in the life ahead. Being myself though, selfish is not my style. Wonderful to hear that your wife has some financial stability. That's a tribute to you right there.
As others have said, do what makes you happy. Traveling with your wife sounds wonderful! I hope you have found the right oncologist. It's so important when fighting cancer to have doctors you trust and can connect with.
I'm gonna throw this out there, but please feel free to ignore it. When I read your post, I couldn't help but think about David Servan-Schreiber, a scientist and doctor who was told at 31 that he had brain cancer. He lived almost 20 years after the initial diagnosis with relapses along the way. If you get to the point where you or your wife would like to read about his life, he wrote a book, "Anti-cancer, A New Way of Life." I found it very inspiring and helpful when I was going through treatment for stage 2 breast cancer.
Sending healing vibes to everyone!
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