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I think there may be some lack of understanding about what the Peace Corps actually is. It's not some glorified mission trip for lost souls with no direction: it's an exceptionally competitive 2 years in service to the country that often requires years of education and/or training. While the Peace Corps tries to minimize risk, it is still a dangerous role to play, especially in transit in many regions. Germaine has indicated that her daughter is in a high-skills role - something to be very proud of! That said, it does not seem that those skills would easily translate into a position back in the US, particularly without the points boost you get for federal employment application.
While it's not quite analogous to the military, it's a hop, skip, and a jump away. Would someone who is deployed by the army be able to come home to be a caregiver to a parent? Would anyone even suggest it?
Successful Peace Corps service results in an end-of-service transition pay, bonus points on federal job applications, connections to grad school and job opportunities, and loan forgiveness. If the daughter were to return home, she would lose all of these options, as well as her insurance. And yet Germaine has indicated that her daughter would be willing to do it. No one understands the gravity of that decision better than Germaine and her daughter, and none of us here really have the right to question it.
I'm sorry if my tone was seen as hostile. Germaine has talked at length about the difficulties and guilt on all sides of having two adult kids in their 20s building careers and families while their parents find themselves unexpectedly ill at young ages. It sucks. No one is a bad guy here. I just don't think it's helpful to keep bringing it up and judging the family for making the best decisions they can for both their childrens' future and the parents' present.
Yes, when parents are very ill service members are allowed to come home. I know because a very good friend was on a navy ship, out at sea, and was allowed to come for 5 or 6 weeks to take care of his very ill father.
I'm not saying her daughter should quit the Peace Corp but she should be able to come home to help her mother for at least a couple of weeks. I really don't think that would derail her daughter's entire life and career.
But I understand Germaine not wanting her to come home. I just hope her daughter doesn't feel horribly guilty when she learns how ill her mother was and her father's problems with being placed in a facility. I think most adult children want to help their parents under such circumstances and would feel terrible if they couldn't. But I don't know Germaine's kids and maybe her daughter won't feel the least bit guilty for not being around during these tough times for her parents. I hope that's the case.
Yes, when parents are very ill service members are allowed to come home. I know because a very good friend was on a navy ship, out at sea, and was allowed to come for 5 or 6 weeks to take care of his very ill father.
I'm not saying her daughter should quit the Peace Corp but she should be able to come home to help her mother for at least a couple of weeks. I really don't think that would derail her daughter's entire life and career.
But I understand Germaine not wanting her to come home. I just hope her daughter doesn't feel horribly guilty when she learns how ill her mother was and her father's problems with being placed in a facility. I think most adult children want to help their parents under such circumstances and would feel terrible if they couldn't. But I don't know Germaine's kids and maybe her daughter won't feel the least bit guilty for not being around during these tough times for her parents. I hope that's the case.
I hope you got it all off your chest and feel better about yourself now.
Yes, when parents are very ill service members are allowed to come home. I know because a very good friend was on a navy ship, out at sea, and was allowed to come for 5 or 6 weeks to take care of his very ill father.
I'm not saying her daughter should quit the Peace Corp but she should be able to come home to help her mother for at least a couple of weeks. I really don't think that would derail her daughter's entire life and career.
But I understand Germaine not wanting her to come home. I just hope her daughter doesn't feel horribly guilty when she learns how ill her mother was and her father's problems with being placed in a facility. I think most adult children want to help their parents under such circumstances and would feel terrible if they couldn't. But I don't know Germaine's kids and maybe her daughter won't feel the least bit guilty for not being around during these tough times for her parents. I hope that's the case.
Coming home for a few weeks would mean quitting the Peace Corps. This has been repeated time and time again in this thread, including by Germaine. Friends in the Peace Corps missed a grandparent or aunt's funerals because they couldn't come home without leaving the service, though the Peace Corps will do what they can to get you home for the death of an immediate family member. If she were to leave temporarily, she would need to use her typical vacation time (I believe it's 10 days a year) and as Germaine noted, it's up to 4 days in transit each way. If she went past that allotted time off, she would lose her position. And again, she would lose her end of service transition pay (Peace Corps volunteer make very little money during service, and Germaine's daughter would return home penniless), extra points on her federal job application, and insurance.
We all wish it were different, but if wishes were horses then beggars would ride. Germaine's daughter is not going to single-handedly change the Peace Corps' policies.
I'm glad your friend was able to return home. I can't say that any of my friends serving in the Middle East have had the same luxury, including one whose wife had a high risk pregnancy, was on bed rest for the month before their first child was born (and required help of other military spouses for day-to-day activities as there was no other family to help), and missed his child's birth. I'm sure it depends on the mission. As someone Germaine's daughter's age myself, taking 5-6 weeks of unpaid leave from my job, even if my job was guaranteed by FMLA, would be impossible.
Her daughter is aware of what is going on and DOES feel terribly guilty. Keep in mind that this daughter spend several years in her early to mid-20s helping with caregiving already, and put off the Peace Corps in order to help at home. She's not a slacker or trying to shirk responsibility. She has been endlessly responsible, which is why she has that highly demanding role in the Peace Corps in the first place.
Keep in mind that this daughter spend several years in her early to mid-20s helping with caregiving already, and put off the Peace Corps in order to help at home. She's not a slacker or trying to shirk responsibility. She has been endlessly responsible, which is why she has that highly demanding role in the Peace Corps in the first place.
Are we reading the same thread?
I don't think everyone who is commenting on Germaine's daughter knows the back story. This thread is incredibly long and I doubt many have read the whole thing.
Location: Finally the house is done and we are in Port St. Lucie!
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The previous post I made was my first post in the thread. I have read the whole thing.
Germaine, I have followed this thread for a long time. I have kept you in my thoughts and prayers and continue to do so. So many hard decisions you have faced and made with grace and strength.
May you continue to improve. I'm pulling for you. {{{{{ Hugs }}}}}
Coming home for a few weeks would mean quitting the Peace Corps. This has been repeated time and time again in this thread, including by Germaine. Friends in the Peace Corps missed a grandparent or aunt's funerals because they couldn't come home without leaving the service, though the Peace Corps will do what they can to get you home for the death of an immediate family member. If she were to leave temporarily, she would need to use her typical vacation time (I believe it's 10 days a year) and as Germaine noted, it's up to 4 days in transit each way. If she went past that allotted time off, she would lose her position. And again, she would lose her end of service transition pay (Peace Corps volunteer make very little money during service, and Germaine's daughter would return home penniless), extra points on her federal job application, and insurance.
We all wish it were different, but if wishes were horses then beggars would ride. Germaine's daughter is not going to single-handedly change the Peace Corps' policies.
I'm glad your friend was able to return home. I can't say that any of my friends serving in the Middle East have had the same luxury, including one whose wife had a high risk pregnancy, was on bed rest for the month before their first child was born (and required help of other military spouses for day-to-day activities as there was no other family to help), and missed his child's birth. I'm sure it depends on the mission. As someone Germaine's daughter's age myself, taking 5-6 weeks of unpaid leave from my job, even if my job was guaranteed by FMLA, would be impossible.
Her daughter is aware of what is going on and DOES feel terribly guilty. Keep in mind that this daughter spend several years in her early to mid-20s helping with caregiving already, and put off the Peace Corps in order to help at home. She's not a slacker or trying to shirk responsibility. She has been endlessly responsible, which is why she has that highly demanding role in the Peace Corps in the first place.
Are we reading the same thread?
Sorry, I must have missed the post where Germaine said her daughter is fully aware of what is happening at home. Can you direct me to it? I feel bad that Germaine has kept her daughter fully apprised of what is happening and I missed that! Sorry!
I never said her daughter should quit the Peace Corp, or take off 6 weeks, but a couple of weeks at home surely won't derail or jeopardize her whole future. But of course, that's up to Germaine.
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