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I am happy that my parents held onto things of my Grandparents. I will have a head start doing my genealogical stuff when I can get to it. When my Mom passed, my Dad was already gone, I only really wanted the sentimental things -- photos, few special Christmas ornaments, a few things that were my brother's that passed, things with meaning to me. My other brother didn't want any of it. So I kept some things. One day he may change his mind and I will gladly share, its our history. Most everything else from inside the house was donated to a couple charities. I like the connection to my past especially as I get older. They are touchstones to me.
If you love it, keep it. If you don't want it, just get rid of it. Unless it's highly valuable consider that just donating it and losing a few hundred (or a few thousand) dollars is worth just getting it over with and out of the way. As for when you are dead...... it is someone else's problem and they have options....they can decide how valuable their time is. Have it hauled off, keep it, or sell it. I know someone who is under the impression that I am going to sell their stuff when they die. I will be donating a complete woodshop..... I am not screwing with it.
When my mother passed, she had a huge house of furniture and household goods that no one in the family needed or wanted. My mother made us promise to sell her stuff "for a pretty penny". She was one of those people that thought that everyone else had junk but her things was priceless. Through her estate attorney we found out that a homeless shelter was opening up and was in need. Done! We sold everything in the house for a penny. So although it wasn't exactly what my mother had in mind we kept our word.
Perfect.
I had a friend who when his wife passed first told his kids. Every weekend I will set things up on the table and on the floor of the dining room, clearing one room of the house at a time. It will stay there for one week, if there is something you can use or want for sentimental reasons or a friend can use take it that week I will not hold it for you. After that it goes to goodwill, the church or if its in poor condition the trash. He lived in Philly so there was always someone who had been burned out of an apartment or home. Lots of need for a bed frame , tables, chairs, extra dish sets , old TV that still works etc.
After dealing with disposal of two estates and our own personal move into retirement, I am glad that my daughter has absolutely no interest in repeating the mistakes of her older relatives.
I have a question for you.
What does it matter if someone wants to hold on to something that reminds them of a loved one? I mean, as long as they're not endangering themselves or others.
Personally to me - I don't care what happens to my stuff when I die. I've enjoyed it while I'm alive. And I am NOT repeating the mistakes of my parents - who held on to every little thing like it was some sort of relic. I am being judicious - my mom would even say reckless in my abandonment! But after closing out FOUR estates (got you beat by two but I digress), in two states, including four homes, a guest house, a shop, a business, four barns and various outbuildings - and every single one of these parents (and my inlaws) saved every single scrap of paper they ever signed or thought they might need, as well as family "heirlooms" out the wazoo - I'll just say that I only have a 2600 square foot house and i already had my own stuff - and it was good stuff. So I've called kids, cousins, neighbors, Goodwill, the Salvation Army, you name it - and unloaded TONS of STUFF.
I am glad that our kids do have some interest in some items that I personally liked but didn't want to keep - such as a couple of sets of china (pretty darn good stuff), some antique dining room furniture, some original paintings, etc. I mean, I would hate to let this stuff go, BUT I WILL.
We are right in the middle of a move, and I can assure you, this 57 year old woman has no intention of hauling a single thing over to the new house that doesn't have the perfect spot. That being said, I AM sentimental so things like the quilt that my great great great grandmother made will definitely be coming to the new house.
Balance is the key. Meanwhile, once I die, if my kids take every lick of my stuff to the dump, I really couldn't care less.
I can tell you that after I helped get rid of a estate for my uncle, 90% of the stuff went in the dumpster. I took a few things.
I hate getting rid of my stuff as most of the stuff is thousands and thousands of dollars in tools. Some are expensive. Others are just cheap stuff that’s just stuff I take on long trips of I lose it no big deal.
I am trying to get rid of stuff as if something happens to me I don’t want my wife dealing with it.
Most stuff people have simply isn’t worth much on the second hand market. I have tv stands that cost $500 and I bet I can barely get $50 for them. Furniture, clothing, personal items don’t carry much value. Some things obviously do as they have some value by brand or collectability but average stuff bought at that dime store you visited while in that seaside village or on that once in a lifetime trip to Fiji where you bought that handmade seashell necklace.....
I have been spending the last few years really cleaning out stuff. My spouse and I have had to clean out our parents' stuff and our only child has come along on those trips. As an adult, she wonders out loud where all the "stuff" came from and how we are going to get rid of it. There is a ton of furniture that no one wants. It does not fit their new houses or the way they live. China and crystal is not how they entertain and takes up space they don't have in smaller homes or moving around with jobs every few years. Down the road I will try to scan all of our photos so they take up much less space as well. I have already donated books, CDs, DVDs, and lots of silly little kitchen appliances.
On the other hand, as I choose to update things like my food processor or blender, I find that those are the things my daughter asks for the castoffs. It's ok if it's a little used (well a LOT used) because they can try it and if they don't like it, was going to Goodwill anyway.
I have an only child and it was hard enough to do the cleaning of our parents' stuff with multiple siblings. I want my child to travel here to close the estate paperwork, pack up her car with a few boxes of things she has already told us she considers precious, and drive away with a lifetime of memories...far more important to our little family than the "things" we acquired.
Here's the deal with the handmade shell necklace from that once in a life time trip to Fiji - so what if the daughter or granddaughter throws it away when you die?
I mean, I don't expect my kids to sell my stuff when I die, other than the paid for house that they'll make some money on. I expect them to just throw most of it out or whatever. And that's fine. They'll get plenty of an inheritance to justify the trouble. Meanwhile, I enjoy the necklace from Fiji and the memories it holds, which I fully expect to die with me.
I also make it a point to use my grandmother's china and my crystal that I bought as a young military wife overseas. But if my kids dump it when I die, so be it. It's not like I'll care - I may not even be aware of it!
I would definitely keep those things, like old photographs and scrapbook albums.
It's the other things like little Hummel figurines that I'd want to sell off or donate. My mom also collected Normal Rockwell plates believing they were highly valuable - they're not. Even the crystal she had, has declined in value.
I still have many old sets of my mom's china, not sure what to do with it all. It's hard to sell online and although I've sold some of it, the rest is boxed up and taking up valuable space in my home.
Give it away - I'm sure a good organization could find a home for it.
Give it away - I'm sure a good organization could find a home for it.
I agree - I hardly ever sell anything.
A few years ago, when we bought a house, the previous owners left a nearly new, but white, French door fridge. Not a scratch or dent on it, all parts in perfect order - PERFECT "garage fridge" but we didn't need it because doggone it we already HAD a garage fridge.
So we tried to sell it. NO LUCK. Not for love or money. Not ANY amount of money. So then we tried to GIVE IT AWAY but the caveat was that someone would have to come get it. NO LUCK. Now we don't live in an unusually affluent area or anything like that. We advertised it on Craigs List, in the classified ads, you name it. NO LUCK AT ALL. We did have a few people call and say "I'm interested in it, but can you deliver it?" Errr, no.
FINALLY we managed to find a charity who came and got it - and they didn't want to - they wanted us to load it up and bring it to them. A nearly new, perfectly running refrigerator. Sheeze. We couldn't even get Goodwill or the Salvation Army to come get it. And get this - I volunteer in a ministry that serves the underprivileged in our area - I couldn't find a single person who was interested in it.
Now, what I HAVE had some luck with is putting stuff on the curb with a big plywood sign that says "Free." Within a few hours, that stuff is gone.
A few years ago, when we bought a house, the previous owners left a nearly new, but white, French door fridge. Not a scratch or dent on it, all parts in perfect order - PERFECT "garage fridge" but we didn't need it because doggone it we already HAD a garage fridge.
So we tried to sell it. NO LUCK. Not for love or money. Not ANY amount of money. So then we tried to GIVE IT AWAY but the caveat was that someone would have to come get it. NO LUCK. Now we don't live in an unusually affluent area or anything like that. We advertised it on Craigs List, in the classified ads, you name it. NO LUCK AT ALL. We did have a few people call and say "I'm interested in it, but can you deliver it?" Errr, no.
FINALLY we managed to find a charity who came and got it - and they didn't want to - they wanted us to load it up and bring it to them. A nearly new, perfectly running refrigerator. Sheeze. We couldn't even get Goodwill or the Salvation Army to come get it. And get this - I volunteer in a ministry that serves the underprivileged in our area - I couldn't find a single person who was interested in it.
Now, what I HAVE had some luck with is putting stuff on the curb with a big plywood sign that says "Free." Within a few hours, that stuff is gone.
I agree, giving things away is sometimes the only way you can get rid of something, and even then it's shocking what a task that can be!
I think younger people have been conditioned by social media to only want new items. Taking used things is just not for them. I find this so surprising because that's the way my husband and I kept out of debt when we first started out.
Older generations tend to have a skewed view of the value of their possessions. I have assisted in clearing out the estates of inlaws and parents, and much of what they had ended up in a dumpster. It doesn't matter that you paid $3000 for that giant entertainment system cabinet because today you'd have to pay to have someone take it away.
My mother collected dolls in a time when that was popular. She spent many thousands on these "collectibles". I sell on Ebay on occasion and today these are worthless.
But my conclusion is this--those dolls gave my mom pleasure. That entertainment cabinet was enjoyed for years. And that's all that matters. No future generation should be made to feel guilty because they don't want something that used to be valuable. They shouldn't have the burden of hanging on to those things either.
I have told my kids that when the time comes they can dump my things. There is no obligation or guilt for them to keep anything. They are aware of a few rare family heirlooms that they already value but everything else can go.
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