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Yeah, I realize I could have titled this thread better.
I know it's a "couple levels removed" from my business.
I just recall the anguish my wife and her family went through when MIL was in the hospital truly on the edge. They weren't sure they'd get her back in any reasonable shape. It's been up and down with her meds since then to try and create stasis in her moods and ability to function.
So right or wrong, it just skeeves me to see MIL drinking and being 'enabled' to do so when clearly it's NOT advised when on the various meds she's on. May as well flush them down the toilet.
I wouldn't go so far as to say you may as well flush the meds down the toilet. They will likely do at least something of what they are supposed and some (like sedatives) will do MORE. If you're saying that by drinking she undoes any benefit, I'd not assume that either. I almost get the feeling you'd care much less about her drinking if she wasn't on these meds?
Clearly she needs to stop or at least slow down. However, without a full-blown intervention, I doubt a single or a couple relatives speaking up will do much of anything. She knows....she just doesn't know perhaps the extent that everyone knows.
It sounds like the OP is anxious about a harrowing repeat of a past experience. If spouse is concerned, she would be the one to intervene in some way.
This.
Sorry I didn't title this better.
If MIL has another episode like the one that hospitalized her last time...she ain't coming back IMHO.
I know it's not MY business as much as it is my wife's and her siblings. But I just feel badly about the while thing.
I'm not a teetotaller. But this 'Mommy Wine Culture' thing is really old and the downsides of it, in this case for an elderly woman on anti-psychotics and anti-depressants, are too often discounted.
How old is Mil? She will die one day, so let her decide how to go out. If the wine brings her pleasure, why not? You need to check her specific medications & if they interact with alcohol, call her Dr.
How old is Mil? She will die one day, so let her decide how to go out. If the wine brings her pleasure, why not? You need to check her specific medications & if they interact with alcohol, call her Dr.
Dr. wouldn't even give that info out to the daughter unless she had healthcare POA, much less a SIL!
Dr. wouldn't even give that info out to the daughter unless she had healthcare POA, much less a SIL!
I know, but they could tattle tale on her, to Dr. But first, they need to find out if there is an interaction with alcohol, before they do anything, surely the sister of ops wife, will tell them what medications she is on.
How old is Mil? She will die one day, so let her decide how to go out. If the wine brings her pleasure, why not? You need to check her specific medications & if they interact with alcohol, call her Dr.
That's the question I had. Judging by the OP's overuse of texting initials my guess is he isn't too old (30's at the oldest). The mother-in-law might not even be 60 years old. Sorry, if that's the case, I wouldn't exactly call her old or incapacitated due to JUST age. If that is the case, I'm definitely over the hill and didn't realize it.
His concern is I'm sure justified. If his wife cannot find relatives living close near by that share your concern, there may be very little that can be done. It's his wife's responsibility to try to help halt the lady's actions before she hurts herself. It doesn't sound like she wants to change her lifestyle.
That's the question I had. Judging by the OP's overuse of texting initials my guess is he isn't too old (30's at the oldest). The mother-in-law might not even be 60 years old. Sorry, if that's the case, I wouldn't exactly call her old or incapacitated due to JUST age. If that is the case, I'm definitely over the hill and didn't realize it.
His concern is I'm sure justified. If his wife cannot find relatives living close near by that share your concern, there may be very little that can be done. It's his wife's responsibility to try to help halt the lady's actions before she hurts herself. It doesn't sound like she wants to change her lifestyle.
Way off on both guesses.
She's almost 80. I'm way past 30.
I know, but they could tattle tale on her, to Dr. But first, they need to find out if there is an interaction with alcohol, before they do anything, surely the sister of ops wife, will tell them what medications she is on.
My wife was there when the breakdown happened, and stayed for 3 weeks to help.
Nobody wants to go through that again, not for mom/MIL, not for ourselves. It was awful. My wife was shaken like I've never seen her.
Yeah, it's all haha funny to minimize the role alcohol plays in mental health, but MIL has already had several med changes to try and "even her out" and adding this kind of "wine moms" drinking on top of it cannot be a positive turn of events. But OK, yeah, it's her life. Until she breaks down again and can't take care of herself.
But from where I, the in-law, and my wife sit there's only so much we can do which is probably limited to a comment every so often about looking into the specific effects of drinking and the meds she's currently on. Or if we happen to be in town when she has a doctor appointment maybe bringing it up there.
Way off on both guesses.
She's almost 80. I'm way past 30.
Well, my trying out for the fair's midway as a guesser has just been derailed.
You do know that her age is a pretty important ingredient to help people make comments in giving you their opinion.
It's probably up to your wife to try to elicit someone else in seeing what you see. At least you'll have an united front in the attempt at a type of intervention. It sounds like without that you're pretty powerless living so far away.
I think the OP is concerned about interactions between alcohol and her meds.
Research before doing or saying anything. There might be warnings glued to med bottles. You could start there.
Those warnings are on EVERY prescription bottle Any further "research" will come up with the same thing. Leave the old lady alone, its her life!
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bottle Any further "research" will come up with the same thing. Leave the old lady alone, its her life!
