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Marylee, I'm sorry but I have to say it. It would be great if you could focus some of the love, affection and respect you feel for your cats onto your children. They need it too.
I apologize mods if this is in violation of the TOS, but I can't keep quiet any longer.
How do you know how much "love, attention and respect" I focus on my kids? Just because I'm concerned about my cats doesn't mean I don't care for my children as well, and being concerned about the cats doesnt harm the kids in any way. You don't know the whole story (oh, I'm sure you will try to pick apart other posts of mine, but that doesn't give the full story, just snipets of our lives one may chose to string together), but excuse me for caring about my pets.........guess to #ell with them.........you have no idea how much time, effort, attention (and money) i devote to my kids. If looking for a little animal who's lost is somehow not being a good mother, well.....that's your opinion.
How do you know how much "love, attention and respect" I focus on my kids? Just because I'm concerned about my cats doesn't mean I don't care for my children as well, and being concerned about the cats doesnt harm the kids in any way. You don't know the whole story (oh, I'm sure you will try to pick apart other posts of mine, but that doesn't give the full story, just snipets of our lives one may chose to string together), but excuse me for caring about my pets.........guess to #ell with them.........you have no idea how much time, effort, attention (and money) i devote to my kids. If looking for a little animal who's lost is somehow not being a good mother, well.....that's your opinion.
I know because in a previous post (or snippet of your life, whatever you want to call it) you said, regarding your son, "DH has worn out his belt on him, and made him scrub the kitchen floor with a small brush until it shone, ala military standards." I doubt you would allow your husband to do that to one of your cats. Please get some help for yourself and your family. That's all I'm going to say about the subject.
I know because in a previous post (or snippet of your life, whatever you want to call it) you said, regarding your son, "DH has worn out his belt on him, and made him scrub the kitchen floor with a small brush until it shone, ala military standards." I doubt you would allow your husband to do that to one of your cats. Please get some help for yourself and your family. That's all I'm going to say about the subject.
Play fair---the reason dh made ds scrub the floor with a toothbrush until it shone was because ds thought it was a great good prank to rub butter all over the bathroom floor and connecting hallway, hoping his sister would slip. Instead, I took a bad fall, while I already have a bad back.
If ds can butter the floor, he can clean it, same amount of effort, this time put to a good cause. Insofar as wearing out his belt on him, well, that's only after putting up with letting ds get away with everything in the book, including setting fires, leaving doors open all night long, going out at night on his bike, in short, being a brat out of control. and we are "seeking help" the last place we went for counseling, ds called their hotline and told them a bunch of made up crap which landed him in jail for making false statements to a police officer (including we kept him locked in his room, didn't feed him, etc, which is all pure baloney). BTW, they agreed the scrubbing the floor was an appropriate punishment---or do you suggest I do it? Before or after my injured back heals?
Meanwhile, taking care of the cats isn't hurting ds any, or do you suggest I just ignore him letting the animals outside to wander off and not even bother to look for them? How is looking for a lost animal hurting him?
Marylee, I'm so sorry you keep going through this. I'm also very sorry that people are so judgemental on this forum. No one knows what your heart feels nor should they try. This is a board about CATS. I'm sure if you were to tell the same story on the PARENTING forum, it would look and read a little differently. Of course you love your kids, of course you love your cats. It's silly to assume that you treat your cats better than your kids. It's kind of cruel, especially since you're basically going through hell right now. Good luck in finding Rudy. Keep a close eye on your other cats. One day your beloved cat might return to you. In the meantime, just hope and pray that he is in the hands of a kind stranger who fell in love with him. Cats are resourceful, cats are tough and hearty. I'm sure he's out there, either living the good life with a new family, or living in a colony of cats who took him in. Take care of yourself, your kids, and the cats you have left. Try not to listen to unfriendly people who have no clue as to who you are or what you're going through.
Marylee, I'm so sorry you keep going through this. I'm also very sorry that people are so judgemental on this forum. No one knows what your heart feels nor should they try. This is a board about CATS. I'm sure if you were to tell the same story on the PARENTING forum, it would look and read a little differently. Of course you love your kids, of course you love your cats. It's silly to assume that you treat your cats better than your kids. It's kind of cruel, especially since you're basically going through hell right now. Good luck in finding Rudy. Keep a close eye on your other cats. One day your beloved cat might return to you. In the meantime, just hope and pray that he is in the hands of a kind stranger who fell in love with him. Cats are resourceful, cats are tough and hearty. I'm sure he's out there, either living the good life with a new family, or living in a colony of cats who took him in. Take care of yourself, your kids, and the cats you have left. Try not to listen to unfriendly people who have no clue as to who you are or what you're going through.
I agree and Sandycat said it much better than I could do. Just know there are folks around who are concerned and who are wishing the best for you.
And thank God Macrame came back!
And PS again.....I think an alarm system would be worth its weight in gold to you right now; seems like a wise investment, and I hope you can get one.
I alsao like the idea another poster had about self-closing doors, we should look into them as well. Problem is, we're just renting, so we can't do improvements without the owner's permission. But I can't see any objection to this:
Dear owner:
Enclosed is the rent check. We would like to install a security system in your home, at our expense. We will provide you information about various systems for your approval, and keep you informed of the work done. We will leave it intact when we leave, and will pay all monthly monitoring costs. Please let us know if you have any objections, .....
usually its the other way around, the tennants are merrily tearing up the home, rather than treating it like their own.
I keep looking for Rudy, its raining tonight, perhaps that will flush him out of his hiding spot, if he's found one.
I used to run admin for the third largest security alarm company in the US. huzzah! Our first and foremost rule was, (granted this was 5 or so years ago) that we would not sell to renters.
This has nothing to do with expenses or home renovations, this is simply due to the fact that irresponsible owners after X number of false alarms with their new system, their address will become flagged, and a number of extensive circumstances follow for the police, fire, or medical to react at first response. And when that said renter decides to move, it's the owner of the location that pays the penalty, greating decreasing the cost-value of the home, if he wanted to put it back out on the market, or sell it himself. Because there's no easy legal way to prove "hey my idiot renters are gone, it's okay to come out now".
Putting a security system on the house seems like a great idea. It will stop a burglar from breaking in. But it won't stop him from waltzing through an already left wide open door at 3 in the morning. . . .
I used to run admin for the third largest security alarm company in the US. huzzah! Our first and foremost rule was, (granted this was 5 or so years ago) that we would not sell to renters.
This has nothing to do with expenses or home renovations, this is simply due to the fact that irresponsible owners after X number of false alarms with their new system, their address will become flagged, and a number of extensive circumstances follow for the police, fire, or medical to react at first response. And when that said renter decides to move, it's the owner of the location that pays the penalty, greating decreasing the cost-value of the home, if he wanted to put it back out on the market, or sell it himself. Because there's no easy legal way to prove "hey my idiot renters are gone, it's okay to come out now".
Putting a security system on the house seems like a great idea. It will stop a burglar from breaking in. But it won't stop him from waltzing through an already left wide open door at 3 in the morning. . . .
Granted, an alarm doesn't prevent someone from waltzing through an already open door. but I could tell from the control pad if a door or window was left open. Also, our alarm had a chime so I knew if someone was opening the door in the first place.
I really don't follow how false alarms would decrease the value of a home.......how does that information even sync up? If that's the case, then having an alarm system in our previous home is a liability. We still own our previous home, and keep the security alarm armed. Its also a selling point---we're trying to rent out our home right now, hope to sell it when the market comes back up. From what you're telling me, perhaps we shouldn't keep the alarm system if we have renters?
A good point for thought, I will ask our property manager, it could be different for different areas, but thanks for the advice!
I think you might be able to find a simpler device that would make noise if the door was left open, similar to the simple door alert chime. We have an entry alert chime at work that's wireless. Very small device (takes battery) attaches at the door, and the chime part plugs into the wall and can be quite a ways away probably. When the door is opened, it chimes. But it can't tell anything about whether it was closed or remained open.
EDIT: Something like this might work for you (not vouching for seller, just example of a type of device that could work). Looks like there's a delay setting that would set off alarm 30-45 seconds after the door was opened and not closed, requires code to deactivate. http://www.mypreciouskid.com/door-alarm.html
Marylee, I'm so sorry you keep going through this. I'm also very sorry that people are so judgemental on this forum. No one knows what your heart feels nor should they try. This is a board about CATS. I'm sure if you were to tell the same story on the PARENTING forum, it would look and read a little differently. Of course you love your kids, of course you love your cats. It's silly to assume that you treat your cats better than your kids. It's kind of cruel, especially since you're basically going through hell right now. Good luck in finding Rudy. Keep a close eye on your other cats. One day your beloved cat might return to you. In the meantime, just hope and pray that he is in the hands of a kind stranger who fell in love with him. Cats are resourceful, cats are tough and hearty. I'm sure he's out there, either living the good life with a new family, or living in a colony of cats who took him in. Take care of yourself, your kids, and the cats you have left. Try not to listen to unfriendly people who have no clue as to who you are or what you're going through.
I'm not assuming anything. I'm repeating what Marylee herself has posted in her own threads. It doesn't matter if this is the cat forum or the forum for talking pineapples, Marylee brought it up and I am free to address what she posted.
Yes, damn straight I am judgmental, and I am extremely unfriendly towards people who allow their children to be beaten with a belt. I don't care what the child did or what the parent is going through. This punishment is in addition to some other very questionable methods used by Marylee to discipline her children. If she does not want to be criticized for them then I suggest she doesn't post about it on an open internet forum.
I don't understand how you otherwise kind and compassionate posters can ignore that she is doing this to her child. I'm going to put it this way, what if she had said "my dh has worn out his belt on Macrame" because of some transgression committed by the poor cat. Would you be so supportive if of her then, or would you be trying to find a way to report her to the ASPCA?
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