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Loving your cat is NOT Pathetic at all. You have had him in your life all these years and of course it will be hard to lose him. I feel the same way about my kitties. Some cats do not like to be hugged, but that doesn't mean they don't like us If he was about a year old when you got him, he might have never had any type of human physical affection when he grew up and sometimes if they do not get this as kittens, they don't like it later on in life. One of my kitties is a TNR cat, that clearly cares about us, he greets us at the door and comes up to us every morning to say hello and get pets, but he does not like hugs or being picked up.
I am so glad you feel more comfortable with the answers you got from your vet and from everything you have said, it would be a miracle if he improves... but at least you will know you tried everything you could and you do not have to wonder "what if". Best wishes to you and your kitty. You gave him the best life.
We have one exactly like that as well.....He is extremely attached to me,follows me around and comes when I call,loves belly rubs and sleeping in the bed with us,but he does not like to be picked up or hugged. He also came off the streets and his ear is clipped meaning he was a TNR cat. That and their history outside having to always watch their back and over their shoulder changes their personality.
I am so sorry to hear your cat is so ill. You are not pathetic to love your cat so much!
I'm glad you finally brought him to the vet you like and trust so that you won't be beating yourself up over any decisions you make going forward. It's so hard to let them go, even when you know they're suffering.
Hi, you are a wonderful bunch of people. I want to report what is going on, because it is kind of interesting, but I am beat up emotionally!
Thursday when I went to work, he was the same--sick. I scheduled the euthansia.
Thursday at five he stretched, greeted me, and went to the kitchen and howled for food.
I purchased smelly 9-Lives tuna (as suggested here). I had poured out the juice and left it for him Thursday AM. It was gone and when I picked up another can, he howled and fussed. He drinks the juice enthusiastically (six cans now) He can't handle solid food very well, just a few scraps of beef, hand fed.
He was still very congested, and breathing is hard, which is very bad. But he acted pretty normally, walking and sitting.
For whatever dumb reason, I gave him an appetite stimulant cyproheptadine late last night, something I gave once on Sunday--he had a bad reaction then (sort of wandering agitated around the room for an hour). This morning he had a more pronounced bad reaction; he ran around frantically chasing non existant birds for an hour (banging into walls and furniture because of blindness, sounding like a large dog) . Now, he's fallen asleep exhausted. I won't give it again. This could also be a side product of his illness (cancer?)
This does sound like I am torturing him. I feel bad. I called the vet this morning (this was the second vet the one who thinks he looks 'rough'.)
She repeated on the phone he looks ROUGH but thinks I should give Batril another ten days. (She is in contact with the nice vet who is not in today, so this is joint advice)
The antibiotic they gave Sunday was not Batril. And it was for gram negative. Batril is for gram positive (I might have that backwards.)
I have been prepared to put him down. The vets perhaps don't realize this, and maybe all their sterness (he looks rough! he needs hosiptalization!) is trying to get me to see it. Or maybe bad bedside manners. But I'm the one bringing it up.
Even Wednesday (his worst day) I said (to the nicer vet) --he needs to be put down, right? And the vet said something funny: That would not be innappropriate at this point if it's what you feel. We can do that. We can even do it today. Not: Yes. Clearly.
I don't know what I am trying to say. Maybe I have false hope, or maybe I am over negative. Thanks for listening.
I think many vets hesitate to tell someone point blank what to do about end-of-life matters, because it is such a wrenching and personal decision. When you really want to know their opinion, asking "What would you do if this were your own cat" may be the best way to get their true feelings about it. But in the end, it is your decision. It's the hardest decision we ever have to make, and as I think someone already said, we tend to second guess ourselves no matter what we decide. Go easy on yourself.
I think your vet maybe has a shred of hope that your little guy will come around and have some quality time.
I think you will know when it is time... just listen to your inner voice. With every animal we had to euthanize I knew when it was time, there was no doubt in my mind.
__________________
The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it. ~Henry David Thoreau
Before I had to help my first kitty over to Rainbow Bridge, I was told.. "I'd know when".
Now I'd had numerous cats before this one.....who had passed... but it was never I who made the decision.
You do know when. There's this... I guess blank look in their eyes....it's hard to describe, but it was like nothing I'd seen before even when other kitties were very ill.
With Elsa, she had that blank look, she refused all food and water, wouldn't or couldn't get off her chair to go to the litter box very often. Then she developed respiratory distress... I called my vet right away and we went right in.
He did offer me an alternative.. we could do lasix to eliminate the fluid buildup, Norvasc for her heart, 3 x subq's weekly to help her kidneys... but you know... she was a terrible patient.. she was always the one in charge in the household...this was not the way she wanted to live.
After 20 years together I made the decision to end her suffering.
He had a seizure, which scared both of us. I called the vet at the end of the block, where I had decided we would do the euthanasia (so that I didn't have to drive him, as promised! I can carry him.) I was bawling as I carried him. She said she requires a physical exam first (67 dollars). We had that, he was very good, and she says she would like me to put him on potassium supplements for a few days before she will do it.
She says low potassium (which he has marginally) can cause his 'head hanging'
She says the seizure could be caused by Batril.
Aside from the seizure and the bizarre bird chasing, he seems better; I credit the Batril. So I don't want to stop it, as she suggests. She said: he's on a lot of pills. He is still congested; she said what someone here said--get a vaporizer.
She wants me to stop force feeding him and see if he gets hungry enough to eat on his own. That's contrary to what the other vet said, but it seems trivial.
He is down to 8.7 pounds. Poor thing.
Edit: he had that blank look in his eyes ocngypz refers to, up until Wednesday, when he got the Batril Now he seems 'here' again. But not physically well yet.
The euthansia vet said it is hard to tell if a cat is suffering. She wouldn't say that mine is, though.
Karen - what is best for him?
I know this question is very blunt. I have been there with TwoStep and my father.
I am not familiar with the law in your area - can a vet actually make a decison or just suggest it?
I don't know either. But I thought she would suggest it.
I even dreaded to take him in sometime, for fear they will suggest it. But I guess you you are right--when that blank look is there, and the suffering, you can't bear it and want it done. I am not quite there yet, as long as there is not another seizure, or some new thing.
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If he was about a year old when you got him, he might have never had any type of human physical affection when he grew up and sometimes if they do not get this as kittens, they don't like it later on in life. One of my kitties is a TNR cat, that clearly cares about us, he greets us at the door and comes up to us every morning to say hello and get pets, but he does not like hugs or being picked up. 
