very sad news: movintime & his kitty Blackie

[movintime]

HI HIPPO!


as a longtime good friend, i see waht u mean. but... all these stop gap measures are just that--stopgaps to delay the inevitable for either me or my cat/cats. I too have ashes from cat deaths in '08 but had resilience then asunder 5o yr old in my 40s. thats ALL GONE NOW AS I MUST FACE REALITY NOT DELUSION OF BEING YOUNG ENUF TO DEAL W LOSS!


Spoke to both my shrink & a therapist, among others, & no one can slow down this train It may honestly be waht no one wants to hear but---destiny, fate or just the way it is...

Originally Posted by PAhippo

Movintime


are you even trying to get over it? I know it's not easy. I've lost 2 parents, only sibling and a lot of pets. It hurts. I know. Being as blunt as Karen-in-NH, you seem to be wallowing in it. Are getting help from someone?
Therapist, clergy, pet support group...


I have a little shrine (not sure what else to call it) on one of my dressers: ashes from 3 dogs and pictures on the wall over them. Yea I talk to them sometimes.
I focus on the love not the pain.


There's other ways of dealing with loss. That's mine.


Find one that works for you. Just try and stop wallowing.

[movintime]

Originally Posted by PAhippo

I do get what you're saying-you'd rather quit than get fired. sort of.




Think of this as getting laid off. Time to start looking for a new job and get back to work. sort of.

sort of
better to resign than get canned, no?

[movintime]

very bad day w g/f in hosp. & our only alive kitty reacting by not eating well n me in tears all day n nite tonite (realy wish i was gone very soon from this junkhole aka earth but..God decides I abide til...)....4get about me as if kitty goes, ive a plan to finally leave too...


please in honor of me n my dead cats. take great care of ur cats. u never know when wicked probs n depression can strike u. i sure didnt

[gypsychic]

Originally Posted by movintime

very bad day w g/f in hosp. & our only alive kitty reacting by not eating well n me in tears all day n nite tonite (realy wish i was gone very soon from this junkhole aka earth but..God decides I abide til...)....4get about me as if kitty goes, ive a plan to finally leave too...


please in honor of me n my dead cats. take great care of ur cats. u never know when wicked probs n depression can strike u. i sure didnt

Sending you prayers for peace and comfort for you, your kitty in heaven and also prayers for your girlfriend. I have gone through rough times like you are having and I know how hard it is. It may not seem that way now, but things will get better. Take care of yourself.

Love,
Gypsychic

[Three Wolves In Snow]

Originally Posted by movintime

sorry i deleted an apology but it still stands folks. TY for not attacking me over my feelings & mindset tho few agree on the devastation that sometimes broken pieces dont fit back together & U MAY JUST HAVE TO LIVE UR LIFE BROKEN INTO PIECES.


(I sum it this way; i cannot reassemble his DNA, right? To make him alive again? Thus verbiage from talk or CBT therapy is just that -- TALK -- but it can NEVER bring back nor rectify the TRUE core nature of the problem. He is dead never again to see a bird, the sun, eat chicken from my hands, feel my touch or a petting or a kiss on his head, a walk in the grass, etc.

If THAT alone does not drop u to ur knees I dont know if a Mike Tyson punch would have hurt ANY ha harder in the 90s than what I feel daily to this day since his passing Sun morn Nov7 2021. I wish Id have had a heart attack that day & gone w/ him. WHY am I here & he not? he LOVED life, I dont-- nor ever did. He MADE me a better person but only thru him aka my-- Kryptonite could I be superman, He was that spark or spinach to Popeye. Now its gone

ok, now im really in tears...........

I've had a hard time figuring out how to write this, because I'm not trying to do a comparison thing...

You said:

U MAY JUST HAVE TO LIVE UR LIFE BROKEN INTO PIECES

I hope you really hear what I'm saying. I was a very severely abused child. I had broken bones, I was thrown, I was locked in closets and trunks of cars, for days, I was burned with hot water...by my 'parents'. I was 5 months old when it was first reported, and 4 years old when I was rescued.

Do you think that maybe I have a clue about a broken life in pieces? Do you think maybe I have a clue what devastating loss feels like? Yeah, even though they did all of that, a small child still loves their stupid parents. But I was removed by the state.

Do you think I didn't suffer for years? I was 4. years. old. when I was rescued. I know what pain and suffering and depression and broken life is all about. I know.

What you do is you fight back and you get a life that means something.
What you don't do is throw in the towel and let it destroy you.

You're in pain. You're depressed. You can't change a thing about what happened. You have no control over what happened. It's done, you can't make it be something else.

I KNOW THAT!

For me, when my pets die, I almost always blame myself, and while everyone does, I'm usually extremely hard on myself for it, and I think a lot of that stems from not wanting to be the ultimate failure like my 'parents' were. I wanted to be better, do better, and never fail.

But then reality hits - eventually - and I realize, I'm not God. I'm not in charge of life and death. I can't stop life happening, I can't stop death happening.

So, I tell myself that I did the best that I could do - and I DID! I. can't. stop. every. illness. or. death.

You have to accept that you can't do that, either.

If you didn't have the means....you didn't have the means! Does it take away from what you did give when your cat was alive?

NO!

As I have said, and continue to say, you gave that cat what no one else would give that cat.

And you know what, movintime, sometimes - that HAS to be enough.

It's okay to grieve. There's no time limit on grief.

You feel broken now. Your heart hurts now.

But if you don't get the help that you need, you will stay that way.

And if you stay that way, you can't be there 100% for the cat who is still there with you.

If you stay that way, you can't be there for any cat in the future who will need you. That's why I wrote that DM to you. You know exactly which one I'm talking about.

You can grieve. You can be sad. You can feel empty, heartbroken, and no one can tell you how long it takes for you.

But telling us that you want to end it all because of it - no. I gave you a phone number. You know damn well what to do with it - you need help. Get help.

This does NOT have to be the rest of your life.

[nancy thereader]

thread closed for mod review.