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The "child" involved is living with Dad, we're seperated, so I guess the cats are my only real companions. That with working from home I am isolated, but a cat isn't a human for companionship. I've learned to just open the pet door and let him go, he comes back when he pleases, just like the rest of my "family". I was frantic when he went missing around Christmas but I've learned to not worry, he is resourceful. I can't do much now with my broken pelvis anyways, I feel liike some old lady who should be put in a nursing home and stop being a burden on others, although I should recover, and I'm only 55, you find out what you've got when you have nothing and no one but a cat.
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You're living in a self imposed isolation. When your pelvis heals you need to get out more. Walk around the stores and/or window shop. Take long walks in the park. Join a dance club, church or Singles group. Sip a cup of coffee at Starbucks. Volunteer at a local animal shelter. It's very sad to be alone.
You're living in a self imposed isolation. When your pelvis heals you need to get out more. Walk around the stores and/or window shop. Take long walks in the park. Join a dance club, church or Singles group. Sip a cup of coffee at Starbucks. Volunteer at a local animal shelter. It's very sad to be alone.
Thanks for the suggestions, but the isolation is not "self-imposed". Do you think I like living alone? The isolation is imposed by the circumstances.
First, not only do I have problems with my pelvis, I have severe RA, an artificial hip, and yes, I know, so-and-so' grandmother has arthritis and goes dancing. Arthritis is not a function of age, many people in their 20's with RA are incapicated with it.
How could I join a dance group when I can barely get in and out of the car? How do I volunteer at an animal shelter when I can't bend or lift anything? I know how sad it is to be alone, you ought to try it sometime before you criticize those who live their lives that way.
Also, people don't want to be your friend when you have a disability, its a sad fact of life. They don't like being dragged down by a companion who walks slow, has to search for a handicapped spot, can't get up and down steps without help, etc. I've tried so many times to join groups, only to be "frozen out" because I can't keep up with the group. For example I tried joining a group that took bus trips (day trips) every month. Well, it takes a few extra minutes for me to get on and off the bus. I was told by another member that it "wasn't fair" to slow down the other members of the group, I was actually told they'd prefer I not continue (BTW, this was a group of Methodist Church Women)
I work at home because its the only job available to me, and I'm lucky in this economy to have a job at all.
This whole thread was about my cats, and how I injured myself trying to bring one home one night. The cats are all I have for companionship, I guess I should get rid of the cats, because, like another poster pointed out, they seem to cause problems? One little problem, you don't just "get rid" of pets, they charge you at shelters, here its $100 per cat to put the animal in the shelter, and how do I get them there when I can't even get out for groceries?
Don't be so critical when you don't understand the situation, don't fantasize what you would do in a similar situation (I'd join groups, go dancing, etc). You truly don't know what you're talking about.
Just how did this become "self imposed isolation"? Please, tell me how I'm "isolating myself". Did it ever occur to you this isn't of my choosing? I do the best I can, and probably better than you would given the same circumstances. You're criticizing without knowing all the facts.
MaryleeII: I don't think many people here were aware of the extent of your disabilities. I wasn't. That being said, don't get rid of your cats! I could never do that.
It is absolutely unconscionable and incredible to me how the "Methodist Church Women" treated you. Wow...unbelievable.
Just how did this become "self imposed isolation"? Please, tell me how I'm "isolating myself". Did it ever occur to you this isn't of my choosing? I do the best I can, and probably better than you would given the same circumstances. You're criticizing without knowing all the facts.
(((big hugs))) to you Marylee. I know what it is like to be frozen out of your community, your school, your neighborhood, even your friends and family, who.. even with the best of intentions, fall short of patience and/or tolerance at times due to a disability.
You can be very active socially on the boards, we really have established a tight-knit community amongst ourselves. I wish I could work from home, sheesh! But don't let anyone get you down, or take any of it to heart if they either a) don't know all of the factors involved, or b) cast judgement without caring either way.
Cats can make you live longer - If I were crippled, for example, and housebound, I would stock up on furry friends and live (most likely) far more comfortably than I do now, having to put up with non-furrybutted (and rather uncompassionate) people on a daily basis.
(((big hugs))) to you Marylee. I know what it is like to be frozen out of your community, your school, your neighborhood, even your friends and family, who.. even with the best of intentions, fall short of patience and/or tolerance at times due to a disability.
You can be very active socially on the boards, we really have established a tight-knit community amongst ourselves. I wish I could work from home, sheesh! But don't let anyone get you down, or take any of it to heart if they either a) don't know all of the factors involved, or b) cast judgement without caring either way.
Cats can make you live longer - If I were crippled, for example, and housebound, I would stock up on furry friends and live (most likely) far more comfortably than I do now, having to put up with non-furrybutted (and rather uncompassionate) people on a daily basis.
More ((((huggs)))) from me. I'm also disabled and moved from a city with buslines to a small town with a senior citizens bus. I'm trying to figure out how to save for a cheap car but mostly stay at home since I hate asking for rides but will for that big shopping trip each month. Cat food sacks are pretty bulky on a little bus.
I was quite happy puttering doing home improvements until Thanksgiving when I got sick, and have had one or another problem since then. So lots of piles of stuff to look at and feel frustrated about. And for cats to get into. Finally I'm starting to feel better but don't have much energy so its good the family of eleven is doing good. Thats one human, two dogs and eight cats. Two boy cats, and all the rest female.
My animals give me great comfort and company and I am not sure I'd trade them for a person who would have to be compromised with. I've vowed to get out more and go downtown to the shops but its TOO COLD!!!
Glad we have this virtual community for those of us who find furries are our company. I'm going to see a friend in the hospial in Tulsa who had a heart attack tomorrow so its the ying and yang of getting out and going where I haven't been and shopping, yet why...
Usually I wake up thinking I'm doing pretty good but I'm 57 and sometimes seem to feel like I'm 80 lately and have already truned into the old cat lady.
Usually I wake up thinking I'm doing pretty good but I'm 57 and sometimes seem to feel like I'm 80 lately and have already truned into the old cat lady.
I know the feeling---lately I've been depressed thinking I've just turned old overnight. I'm 55, but feel like some 80 year old.When I said we're seperated, I didn't mean our marriage is breaking up, far from it. My dh took a job in another city, after being laid off 3 years. It pays about half what he used to make, but still decent pay and benefits. We're trying to move up there to be together, then I fell and hurt my back, now I'm good for nothing for at least 1-3 months. My son lives with dh, my daughter lives with me, but she's plain mean, won't do a thing to help.
The other day I aaked her to help me get something to eat, she said I'm not your servant. I managed to get a frozen dinner in the microwave, then practically begged her to at least carry it to the table for me, she said if you can get it in the microwave, you can get it to the table. The table is quite a hike from the microwave, and I'm using a walker.
She won't even feed the cats, says they're not her pets, so what. We got an automatic feeder and water dispenser for the animals, my dh comes home on weekends and tends to the cats then. I hire a cleaning service, but one hour after they're gone you'd never know they've been here, she drips stuff all over the floor, won't put a dish in the dishwasher, won't clean up a spill on the counters, says that's what the cleaning lady is for, she's not the servant here.
My dh does laundry on weekends, she goes through a week's worth of clothes in about a day, drops clothes all over the floor, hey, she knows how to work the washing machine, she's lucky we have one.
BTW, she's 12 years old, perfectly capable of doing light chores. I'm thinking seriously of calling CPS and asking if they could put her in foster care for awhile, I can't take care of her, she won't do squat here. At least let CPS talk to her and explain what's expected from a 12-year old.
MArylee, you are far from being alone here! I am disabled (2 back surgeries) and have had a hard winter health-wise. I wish I could come keep you company - or at least give your daughter a good kick in the pants. Maybe metaphorically?
My 3 dogs and 3 cats are my compaions - all my family is back South. While I have good friends here, you can't impose on your friends a lot. So, we do what we can and hope for the best. I hope you start feeling better soon. Love those kitties for me.
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Marylee -- when I was home alone all day with a broken ankle and on crutches I found that I could prepare myself a meal, but I couldn't get it into the other room to sit down and eat. I found that a rolling cart worked great to hold the food and act as a walker to get me from one location to another. You might want to try something like that.
Here is a picture of what I'm talking about, although mine was more solid and not mesh. This one is from Amazon and I searched under rolling kitchen cart.
Marylee -- when I was home alone all day with a broken ankle and on crutches I found that I could prepare myself a meal, but I couldn't get it into the other room to sit down and eat. I found that a rolling cart worked great to hold the food and act as a walker to get me from one location to another. You might want to try something like that.
Here is a picture of what I'm talking about, although mine was more solid and not mesh. This one is from Amazon and I searched under rolling kitchen cart.
Love this idea! I wil have my dh look for one, probably in Walmart!
I've had all sorts of surgeries and been through all sorts of rehab, but they never mention something like this. Rehab's a joke---there's big gaps in what they tell you and what you need, like this. They always tell yu to have simple to prepeare, microwave foods, but somehow forget you need to sit down dowmewhere to eat and can't carry food while using a wallker or crutches.That's when they give you the lecture about self-sufficiency, fills in any gaps they can't cover. Look, if we could be self-sufficient we wouldn't need them to begin with!
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- If I were crippled, for example, and housebound, I would stock up on furry friends and live (most likely) far more comfortably than I do now, having to put up with non-furrybutted (and rather uncompassionate) people on a daily basis. 
