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I agree with Coastal. I think the solution might be more along the lines of what's called a semi-open adoption in the human world. You can offer to send her pictures and updates on how Marshmallow's doing, but please don't give out your address. I'm a little concerned that she has your phone number, to be honest. She may very well be a perfectly sweet lady who just misses her cat. But you don't really know anything about her or her family. You can be nice without placing yourself at risk.
I agree w/ Kansas Sky (and Coastal), she's your cat now and needs a stable home, at 93, your kitty's future would be in question if she were to go back to the original owner (who may be a very nice person but prob. isnt thinking clearly). Would send a few photos if you're so inclined (wouldnt prob. not put a return address on the envelope) but that's it - having her visit would open a can of worms IMO and would only serve to confuse Marshmallow, it was a permanent adoption from the get-go.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kansas sky
I agree with Coastal. I think the solution might be more along the lines of what's called a semi-open adoption in the human world. You can offer to send her pictures and updates on how Marshmallow's doing, but please don't give out your address. I'm a little concerned that she has your phone number, to be honest. She may very well be a perfectly sweet lady who just misses her cat. But you don't really know anything about her or her family. You can be nice without placing yourself at risk.
Call me unreasonable but I consider it irresponsible to surrender a pet to a shelter to begin with. I personally would not even consider giving the cat back. Whatever her circumstances are, there were other options for the kitty. I agree with others, tell her she can visit all she wants but I would NOT give the cat back.
wow, that is sad. I agree with most the posts here too that you adopted Marshmallow, and he is happy in his new home. You did a very nice thing by contacting her to let her know he was okay, not to open a can of worms or put you in a tough position like this. So sad.
When kids were trick or treating in Oct. Two older kids saw Sidney in the front window and said someone stole their kitten this summer who looked like him. I asked where they lived and they said a couple streets over (we have big yard and a couple streets is a far way for little Sidney to have traveled by himself) and they said they kept their kitten outside because their parents didnt want animals in the house. I did tell them I found him in July and they said they thought he was too big to be their kitten---I moved on to the next kids real quick....someone would have to take me to court to get Sidney from me, and I'm not kidding at all. That little boo was in bad shape and there is no way I would give him up.
Stand strong Marylee, I know it's got to be hard but that fur baby is yours now.
I'd have to go with the crowd on this one. She surrendered the cat to a shelter which by all odds should have resulted in the cat being put down. I think that's too much of a breach of the relationship to give her any rights. I might have felt different if she had placed the cat with you, but a shelter? She's outta here. Tell her to get some fish.
CpastalMaine, you have changed my mind! I agree completely w/not having strangers in the house. What would you do if the granddaughter grabbed the cat and made a run for it? What if she's casing your place for a future cat-napping (or worse) operation? Best to cut the cord and say he's fine but that's it.
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No way would I give Marshmallow back or allow visits either. It is just too risky for Marshmallow. I wouldn't have contacted the previous owner in the first place, but that is water under the bridge now. I don't think I would even send the updates or pictures as it could get too complicated.
I agree with everyone here....don't give the cat back nor do not let the lady come visit.
She gave her right to have anything to do with Marshmallow the second she chose not to have anything to do with the cat. I'd go as far as telling her not to call me ever again. What is done is done. The cat is in your family now.
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