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This is the same thing that we get on here all the the time on these threads,
So, obviously, I'm not alone in my feelings
The problem comes in when you have a family. If I were here as a single person (which I wouldn't be) I really wouldn't care - I'd fly my freak flag proudly, but when my views can have negative effects on my children's lives it does become an issue.
No, I'm sorry Lily, but little Johnny can't play with your Timmy because you don't go to the right church/are a liberal/disagree with the war/have Muslim friends/don't say "y'all" etc etc.
I agree that the problem is theirs, but it becomes mine when it affects my kids.
Of course this issue can become heated, but I was more looking for people who felt like a freak like me, not really to point fingers or start a debate.
The culture is here, I moved into it and until I can change it I have to live with it.
I just wanted to know that I wasn't alone...and obviously I'm not from your above quote, lol.
You still haven't told us exactly what you're talking about, though. Are you afraid that neighborhood parents won't let their children associate with yours because of any of the reasons you listed above (none of which qualify as flying a freak flag to me, BTW)?
Yes, I do have that fear that my views on religion/politics/ethics etc will stigmatize my children. I've learned to keep my mouth shut about a number of issues here and it is because I've had to learn to keep my mouth shut that I feel like I'm a freak since I've never had to do that before.
I sigh w/ relief when I talk to people in other places about what are considered hot-button issues here and they don't bat an eye.
However, I know what I think about Charlotte culture...I'm looking specifically for other people who feel like freaks - for whatever reason.
Is City-data freak free?
Um, if it is, I may have to start paying rent here
I think we have a had a similar thread before. I have never understood this question. I have a friend that moved from Charlotte to California and she said Charlotte is too 'white collar' for her. Seems to me like we all are human beings with dreams, responsibilities, jobs (or not!), families, worries, etc. What exactly do you feel like you need to fit in to?
If someone doesn't want their kids to play with yours for whatever reason - so be it! Find someone else for your kids to play with! Be yourself and don't worry what anyone else thinks. Try not to be so sensitive either - maybe the person is just having a bad day? I guess I must be lucky because I really don't worry about what I wear or where I go, etc..... life is much easier this way!
I feel free to express my opinions on any topic, but I don't have children.
Honestly, children are largely a reflection of their upbringing. Do you *want* your kids hanging around with others that are raised in that type of intolerant environment?
You can have your opinions, beliefs, and habits, but don't necessarily need to put them in front of everyone else. I know people who see things differently than I do, and that's fine. What alienates them is that they flaunt their views at every opportunity. I worked with a woman who made it a daily task to tell everyone how different she was. She was being different because she didn't want to fit in to any average everyday definition, but in doing so she became just a pointless freak (OP's term) with no credibility.
OTOH, which is worse, hiding your beliefs and shielding your kids from the realities of life, or being true to yourself? The kids will learn what you teach them. DO you want them to hide their beliefs too, or to lie about them? If you're truly a freak, maybe you need to consider why. If not, then hiding from who you are isn't a good idea, IMHO.
Aside from kids, I also have to mind myself in regards to my husband's job. The job that feeds us.
Hooligan, no, I don't want them exposed to intolerance, but I'd also like to think that maybe my kids could help break down some intolerance just by being raised the way they are. Call me a freak
If more of the general population was like you guys, who seem to be live and let live, then I wouldn't be posting here at all. And, wouldn't that be nice...saving us all some carpal tunnel side effects lol.
However, enough about me, can we get back to this?
"I'm looking specifically for other people who feel like freaks - for whatever reason."
You guys don't feel like freaks, but that doesn't mean OTHER people don't.
Yes, I do have that fear that my views on religion/politics/ethics etc will stigmatize my children. I've learned to keep my mouth shut about a number of issues here and it is because I've had to learn to keep my mouth shut that I feel like I'm a freak since I've never had to do that before.
I sigh w/ relief when I talk to people in other places about what are considered hot-button issues here and they don't bat an eye.
However, I know what I think about Charlotte culture...I'm looking specifically for other people who feel like freaks - for whatever reason.
Is City-data freak free?
Um, if it is, I may have to start paying rent here
Lily - Sorry - I posted before I read this!
I would recommend that you refrain from discussions on religion and politics with parents of your childrens friends - at least until you know them fairly well. There is really no reason to tell Jimmys mom that you think Obama is the answer to the demise of our country or Palin is wonderful, etc. I happen to be a conservative/Republican but I really don't care who my sons friends parents voted for! As a matter of fact - most of his friends parents are as liberal as they come. As far as religion - are you saying someone will not let your child play with theirs due to your religion? If so - very sad but again - find someone else for them to play with. As far as your views on ethics - I guess I would need an example of what others have a problem with. I think I am pretty open minded but I might have a problem letting my kid stay at your house if you are a nudist , etc.
I worked with a woman who made it a daily task to tell everyone how different she was. She was being different because she didn't want to fit in to any average everyday definition, but in doing so she became just a pointless freak (OP's term) with no credibility.
OTOH, which is worse, hiding your beliefs and shielding your kids from the realities of life, or being true to yourself? The kids will learn what you teach them. DO you want them to hide their beliefs too, or to lie about them? If you're truly a freak, maybe you need to consider why. If not, then hiding from who you are isn't a good idea, IMHO.
My kids are young, but I will try to teach them to gauge every situation individually. What I don't want them to learn is that there is only one way of living/doing things. Exposure to different ideas and experiences is the biggest gift you can give a child. That's how I was raised and that is what makes me uncomfortable about this town. It feels too homogeneous for me. I realize that I can't change basic demographics...as much as I wish I could.
The "culture of conformity" is definitely alive and well here. I think it's one of Charlotte's defining characteristics. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it, if it's your thing. I feel like a martian a lot too though...
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