Single Black women of Chicago- What's the dating scene like? (Lincoln: living in, moving to)

[Avengerfire]

Money, money, money, money. The search for it goes across all racial lines.

[linicx]

I don't personally like or use the word "submission". The archaic definition of which is humility and meeknes: servile flattery and submission. The modern definition is accepting or yielding to a superior force.

The perfect relationship, in theory, is two peers who give and take equally for the betterment of heath, home an family. If this were true in real life, I think there would be far fewer divorces, abused women and rape cases. I also think the idea of the "little woman staying home broke barefoot and pregnant" while he controls her and her life is more than a bit archaic for the modern Chicago man and woman in today's society.

[SoxCub Fan]

Originally Posted by SummerLola

Still hung up on light skin vs black skin issue. And this is why I don't date black men. White men don't have this deep rooted anger for light skinned people. But that's a whole different topic. You've chosen to stereotype everyone with a similar characteristic with no knowledge of each as an individual.

Laughable....I've never cared about complexion...I was quoting your foolish mentioning of complexion...but since you mentioned it I just took it to a logical level...me personally I dont subscribe to color PERIOD, but society does. To me race is nothing more than another means of division and a tool used for control and manipulation...ALWAYS has been. I pride myself in being above something as shallow as a persons racial make-up....but I see you arent. I have been around enough people from around the world to understand that Americans are truly screwed mentally with their race based viewpoint and I strived my entire life to purge myself of this brainwashing. The whole race issue is simply a crock of ****. I don't buy into the whole "black culture" thing because I know that it doesnt even exist and to accept that crap as your individuality is a trap, same goes for accepting American white culture...that to comes with its own set of drawbacks (guilt, shame, and superiority complexes). I dont consider myself black...I am of African descent, my culture is American....that is 100% truth. America is a unique super-hybrid culture with influences from all over the globe...everyone here has somehow influenced each other. And that is the ultimate truth. I came to this conclusion because my son's mother is Polish from Poland....her family does not see me as black as the typical European descendant raised in America or "white person" would....they simply see me as American...PERIOD!!! So in conclusion I dont care about complexion in the "black" community....because I have a much more realistic, and broader view than a simple ethnocentric/"black people only" focused mindset. Those silly issues are for people with small minds and limited thinkers.

[aragx6]

Hello misogynists of the Chicago Forum!

Thankfully I have a man at home who regularly and vehemently dispells such antiquated bs.

I'm really not too worried with what "He" says; thanks though.

[Eboni_Kisses26]

Originally Posted by lenniel

Unfortunately, what a lot of the posters on here say is true that Chicago is still divided north (white) and south (black). That being said, if a group of black girls went into a totally white yuppie bar in Lincoln Park for example, you'd probably get a lot of positive attention because for the most post, most guys are attracted to attractive women regardless of color. And, forgive me for being forward, but most white guys have never been with a black woman but it's definitely on their fantasy list.
Some of the bars/clubs downtown or in River North are more integrated.

I'd strongly advise black women from going into an all white bar. First and foremost, this may not be completely safe; therefore, black women really need to think twice before following the above posters advice.

Secondly, most women are NOT interested in being a notch on a man's belt. Generally speaking, black women tend to avoid white guys primarily because we are afraid that they are ONLY looking to fulfill some sort of 'black girl sex fantasy.' Black women can avoid this by vetting men, and holding them to a high standard (irrespective of their color). You will never have to worry about being 'used' if you don't engage in pre-marital sex.

My advice to black women is to certainly expand your dating options, but do so wisely and keep those legs closed. That's the best way to weed out the jerks of all races, avoid unwanted pregnancies and all STDs.

[Eboni_Kisses26]

Originally Posted by allen2323

Actually, even in minnesota where interracial marriages are alot more prevelant and popular than alot of other places. African american men and white women still account for most of the influx of interracial marriages that you see in minnesota. In minnesota an astounding 44 percent of married black men are married to women who are not black. For black women that number is a fraction of that at 14 percent. Apparently, alot of black women who live in minnessota are very concerned with this disparity as this kind of thing obviously leaves alot of black women single without husbands. I think we all know that a higher prevalences of interracial marriages usually means one thing, more single black women. White men will normally choose to marry asian women or fairer complected latina women who apparently they see as more attractive if the interracial dating scene creates a slight shortage of white women.

I find it highly suspect that you are so quick to tell black women what our dating options are. It's actually quite hilarious. You are presently in an interracial union, yet you are basically telling black women that every other race of women are desired over us.

Black women need to tune this negative stance out, because it makes most feel as though they must lower their expectations, since successful/educated and family oriented black men are not in great supply. Black women please do not listen to this foolishness. You are free to date/marry whomever you wish. It's so unhealthy to limit your options.

[Eboni_Kisses26]

Originally Posted by allen2323

Places to meet are everywhere. Almost, any bar in wicker park, lincoln park, downtown, the gold coast, the west loop, the south loop. Some places are better than others. All of these places have venues to meet males or females of different races IF YOU WANTED TO. White guys don't seem to have any problem meeting asian or hispanic women. I always see plenty of black girls hanging out in many of these places. It's not like white guys have to leave there element to meet attractive black women. Young buppie black guys meet white, hispanic, and asian girls all the time at these place . It really isn't a big deal anymore. I first met my fiancee in wicker park at just a regular bar that played hip-hop on some nights called subterranean. Women of all races aren't nearly as hung up on color and never really have been. Black women are no exception. Color does matter to women, but color is only one of several things that women look at. I think when it comes down to serious dating or marriage, white men may not realize it or actually think about it consciously, but I think most white guys make the subconscious decision that black women are not relationship material. Also, when it comes to marriage I don't think there are many white guys that would consider marrying a black woman. I think that has alot to do with the issue of white men not wanting to have black kids. But, even when a black man has kids with a woman of a different race the kids will be black. Biracial yes, but still for the most part considered black. I am surrounded by black guys who are friends and close family who are dating, married, and have kids with women of different races. It really isn't a big deal anymore.

If you have children with a white woman, the children are NOT black. The children are actually mulatto/mixed. Why is it that mixed race people are always put into the black category? Mixed people are not black, since two black parents can only produce a black child. President Obama may look black, but he is mixed. This creates a lot of confusion for mixed race children. Both cultures/races should be acknowledged.

If I married a white guy, and we had a child, the child would be raised to understand that they are a mixture, not simply black or white...

[allen2323]

Originally Posted by Eboni_Kisses26

If you have children with a white woman, the children are NOT black. The children are actually mulatto/mixed. Why is it that mixed race people are always put into the black category? Mixed people are not black, since two black parents can only produce a black child. President Obama may look black, but he is mixed. This creates a lot of confusion for mixed race children. Both cultures/races should be acknowledged.

If I married a white guy, and we had a child, the child would be raised to understand that they are a mixture, not simply black or white...

I think outward appearances have more to do with black biracial children forming there racial identity more than anything. Most biracial kids just get in where they fit in. My daughter plays with another black girl in the neighborhood who has two black parents who is about her skin complexion and looks like they could be sisters. Most african americans are biracial to one degree or another. That is just a fact. But, yeah I also think it is important to help black biracial kids recognize there mixed race heritage.

[allen2323]

Originally Posted by Eboni_Kisses26

I find it highly suspect that you are so quick to tell black women what our dating options are. It's actually quite hilarious. You are presently in an interracial union, yet you are basically telling black women that every other race of women are desired over us.

Black women need to tune this negative stance out, because it makes most feel as though they must lower their expectations, since successful/educated and family oriented black men are not in great supply. Black women please do not listen to this foolishness. You are free to date/marry whomever you wish. It's so unhealthy to limit your options.

That was not my intention at all. I was just mentioning that there is a REAL gender difference as far as numbers go when comparing black-white interracial dating and marriage. I was just stating an obvious fact. More black men date and marry white women than do white men dating and marrying black women. This doesn't mean anything from an individual standpoint. Every person is different. But, I think both black women and white men have something to do with this disparity.

[Eboni_Kisses26]

Originally Posted by allen2323

That was not my intention at all. I was just mentioning that there is a REAL gender difference as far as numbers go when comparing black-white interracial dating and marriage. I was just stating an obvious fact. More black men date and marry white women than do white men dating and marrying black women. This doesn't mean anything from an individual standpoint. Every person is different. But, I think both black women and white men have something to do with this disparity.

There's certainly a number of wm & bw couples throughout the U.S. Please visit the following blog:

Black Female Interracial Marriage Ezine

The numbers are certainly increasing steadily...