How to make friends in Chicago? (Lincoln: neighborhood, high school, maintenance)

[envieng]

How do people make friends in Chicago?
I've been living in Lakeview for 9 months now, and haven't made a single friend. I'm 24, and noone at work is in my age group, so that's a dead-end. I chat with people at the gym while I workout, but I've ever had anyone ask if I want to do something outside the gym. I'm thinking about volunteering at PAWS. I want to help out some fuzzy friends, but would be nice to make human friends too. Is this a good route?
The meetup.com, reddit meetup, online meeting type thing seems strange to me. How the heck did people make friends 20 years ago?

[emathias]

Originally Posted by envieng

...
I chat with people at the gym while I workout, but I've ever had anyone ask if I want to do something outside the gym.
...

If they don't ask you, you ask them ... that's how it works.

[envieng]

The problem with my gym is that it's predominantly gay men. Asking a person to hang out can totally can interpretted the wrong way. I don't even know what to ask people to do since I've never hung out with anyone in Chicago.

[squirrels]

I'm sort of the same way as you. I'm 25 and I tend to come off as very antisocial so I never really get much opportunity to hang out with anyone aside from the people at work (I hate 'bro' type people so that rules out like 95% of my neighborhood).

I live in Lincoln Park so it's not all that far from your area. We can talk a bit if you like.

[probablyimnotsure]

You have to be extremely attractive

[envieng]

Originally Posted by probablyimnotsure

You have to be extremely attractive

to make friends? are you being serious?

[FlyBoyDC10AA]

Originally Posted by envieng

How do people make friends in Chicago?
I've been living in Lakeview for 9 months now, and haven't made a single friend. I'm 24, and noone at work is in my age group, so that's a dead-end. I chat with people at the gym while I workout, but I've ever had anyone ask if I want to do something outside the gym. I'm thinking about volunteering at PAWS. I want to help out some fuzzy friends, but would be nice to make human friends too. Is this a good route?
The meetup.com, reddit meetup, online meeting type thing seems strange to me. How the heck did people make friends 20 years ago?

Well I live in the chicago arean not quit in your age group (I am older then you) but I do go to the Lakeview area quite often. I am also happily married but very out going and a lot of fun to be around although not much of a bar person anymore. But you can send me a message if you would like

[emathias]

Originally Posted by envieng

The problem with my gym is that it's predominantly gay men. Asking a person to hang out can totally can interpretted the wrong way. I don't even know what to ask people to do since I've never hung out with anyone in Chicago.

You figure out what you want to do, and then instead of just doing it by yourself, you invite someone else to do it with you. Don't ask people to "hang out," have a specific activity in mind. It's summer (more or less) and there are tons of free, outdoor activities in the city now, which at least reduces the awkwardness if you invite a gay guy to hang out and he misinterprets the invite.

Finding friends isn't like high school where you just hang out with the people in close proximity to you, you get to choose your friends. But to do that you have to first at least know a few things you like to do. Friends will introduce you to new things, but it's a two-way street, you have to at least establish some common ground first and the best way to do that is to know yourself well enough to know a few things you like to do.

One thing you can do is sign up for a class or classes - a painting class, a dance class, a class in beer-making, a class in photography, a class in wine appreciation, a cooking class, a class in Spanish or French or Chinese, a bike maintenance class, etc (those are all real classes I've seen offered here in Chicago, I'm not just spitballing subjects).

You can also go to smaller events that happen weekly or monthly and just talk to people and you'll see some of them the next time. Weekly events are best for that. There are things like open mic nights you could do - comparing experience with other participants is a good way to start a conversation. One girl I knew made a ton of friends by getting involved with the amateur stand-up comedy scene here in Chicago. There are a lot of scenes like that where you can get involved and make a circle of friends at the same time.

It all starts with knowing what you like well enough already to at least have something to talk about when you're trying to make friends. If someone says, "What do you like to do," and you're like, "Uh, I dunno, just hang out and whatever," why would they want to be your friend?

The easiest way to make friends is to become someone people want to be friends with.

[Chicagoist123]

Originally Posted by envieng

to make friends? are you being serious?

While the poster might have been joking around, there is some truth to it. I have found that attractive people usually can make friends easier because, well people want to be around them. Just like in a job an attractive person probably has an easier time getting a job or and attractive person has an easier time in the dating scene. Not the end all be all but it really helps.

[jonnynonos]

Can definitely be rough. I would just go to a lot of events and try to meet people naturally. May take a while but eventually you will meet people.