How to make friends in Chicago? (transplants, house, dorms)

[Chicagoist123]

Originally Posted by emathias

You figure out what you want to do, and then instead of just doing it by yourself, you invite someone else to do it with you. Don't ask people to "hang out," have a specific activity in mind. It's summer (more or less) and there are tons of free, outdoor activities in the city now, which at least reduces the awkwardness if you invite a gay guy to hang out and he misinterprets the invite.

Finding friends isn't like high school where you just hang out with the people in close proximity to you, you get to choose your friends. But to do that you have to first at least know a few things you like to do. Friends will introduce you to new things, but it's a two-way street, you have to at least establish some common ground first and the best way to do that is to know yourself well enough to know a few things you like to do.

One thing you can do is sign up for a class or classes - a painting class, a dance class, a class in beer-making, a class in photography, a class in wine appreciation, a cooking class, a class in Spanish or French or Chinese, a bike maintenance class, etc (those are all real classes I've seen offered here in Chicago, I'm not just spitballing subjects).

You can also go to smaller events that happen weekly or monthly and just talk to people and you'll see some of them the next time. Weekly events are best for that. There are things like open mic nights you could do - comparing experience with other participants is a good way to start a conversation. One girl I knew made a ton of friends by getting involved with the amateur stand-up comedy scene here in Chicago. There are a lot of scenes like that where you can get involved and make a circle of friends at the same time.

It all starts with knowing what you like well enough already to at least have something to talk about when you're trying to make friends. If someone says, "What do you like to do," and you're like, "Uh, I dunno, just hang out and whatever," why would they want to be your friend?

The easiest way to make friends is to become someone people want to be friends with.

I think classes are fantastic ideas. The reason? Because they are recurring, so it in a way gives you a chance to build the friendship little by little.

[Lucky Clover]

Best way is at lounges and bars sometimes from what I've learned. Just a great social scene -- Lincoln Park has a lot of that. If you're a fan of any sports, sports bars are usually a great way to interact with other fans and have fun.

It can be tough, especially in the first year, but you have to keep going out. Going to events such as festivals can help too. You also mentioned volunteering which is another good way.

The online meet ups thing can be weird, but from what I've heard, people usually have a good time especially if it has things included like the reddit one has a few bands playing at their meetup. You can always attend and if you don't like it then you don't have to stay.

I also agree with the person that recommended classes. Any sort of class is a great way to make friends and socialize with others.

And hell if you don't want to do any of that -- go hangout at one of the parks. Millenium park has people playing things like frisbee. People there are usually very laid back and some are just there to relax. You can always interact there too.

[Bluefox]

Originally Posted by envieng

The problem with my gym is that it's predominantly gay men. Asking a person to hang out can totally can interpretted the wrong way. I don't even know what to ask people to do since I've never hung out with anyone in Chicago.

I don't mean to nit-pick but how do you know that your gym is predominantly gay guys? Just because it's in Boystown doesn't mean it's all gay guys per se. Heck, YOU are going there and you aren't gay. Maybe you aren't as unique as you think you are?

I just ask because I'm a gay guy and have actually hung out with a few straight guys I've met at my gym (located in a mostly gay neighborhood) who didn't even suspect I was gay until I told them (and of course they didn't care at all).

[probablyimnotsure]

Originally Posted by envieng

to make friends? are you being serious?

I was kidding. Like other people were saying classes are good, but I feel sports leagues are even better. In a classroom people still tend to stick to themselves and if you are not a very outgoing person you can still be left alone. If you are on a team then everyone has to actively cooperate with each other. Plus they tend to go to bars afterwards and if you are already with a bunch of people then its even easier to make more friends. Sports leagues are just much more social than classes tend to be.

[envieng]

Originally Posted by jonnynonos

Can definitely be rough. I would just go to a lot of events and try to meet people naturally. May take a while but eventually you will meet people.

Considering that in my 9 months here I haven't had a single person approach me in public, ask me how I'm doing, anything...I feel like going to events will just discourage me even more. People barely even smile back around here.

[envieng]

I feel very apprehensive about a lot of these ideas because it's hard for me to believe that people will show interest in me. Like I said, I've been here 9 months and have barely had my existence acknowledged, barely a smile back, and I'm supposed to believe a bar is some magic zone where this will magically happen? or joining a sports team?

[envieng]

Is there a good website that compiles classes in a neighborhood or the whole city? Most of the classes I see are one-time events.

[seanf312]

I'm 24 and I have the same problem. We could hang out if you like. I'm in Bridgeport

[Chicagoist123]

Originally Posted by Bluefox

I don't mean to nit-pick but how do you know that your gym is predominantly gay guys? Just because it's in Boystown doesn't mean it's all gay guys per se. Heck, YOU are going there and you aren't gay. Maybe you aren't as unique as you think you are?

I just ask because I'm a gay guy and have actually hung out with a few straight guys I've met at my gym (located in a mostly gay neighborhood) who didn't even suspect I was gay until I told them (and of course they didn't care at all).

To further the point, what is wrong with having a gay friend anyway? I mean, it's not something I seek out, but if I had zero friends, I really wouldn't care if there person is gay, straight, lesbian, an old person, dog, alien, etc. Even with all the friends I have now I don't care. That's the thing, you might not get super close with a gay friend if you are not comfortable with it, but he might have friends that you will or maybe even take a likening to one of his girl friends. One of my best friends I met through an old friend I hadn't seen in years. I went to her party and I totally clicked with her boyfriend at the time. They are broken up and I don't talk to her really but I am close to him.

Sometimes the people you meet, might not be people you become close with, but the people that they know, you might. Take every opportunity to socialize.

[Chicagoist123]

Originally Posted by envieng

Is there a good website that compiles classes in a neighborhood or the whole city? Most of the classes I see are one-time events.

Find an interest then just google it. I wanted to learn Portuguese so I called Portuguese classes, and it gave me several options.