Is it weird to move to Chicago if you don't have any friends there? (Bridgeport: neighborhoods, wedding)

[andrew61]

Originally Posted by AriannaB

I am in the interview process for a position located in downtown Chicago. I currently live in Dallas where I've lived all my life. So far in the process, anytime the relocation conversation comes up, everyone has asked me if I have friends in Chicago. I've lied and said yes because I really want this job and I don't want them to know that I actually don't know anyone there. I have visited Chicago before though and loved it.

I've never relocated anywhere and I want this to be my big move. But is it weird to move to a city where you don't have any friends living currently? I'm 28, single, professional, and I am generally an outgoing person, not really shy, and I would have no problem joining groups/organizations or attending events to meet people. But it seems like everyone assumes I should know people there to relocate. Should I?? Has anyone else relocated to a city where you don't know anyone and how did it go?

Well, I moved to Chicago without knowing anyone here. But then, I am weird anyway so maybe I'm not the best example.

One good friend was going to move to Chicago around the same time as I did. We had both decided to move here after spending a long Labor Day weekend here in 1994. In fact, he talked about it more than I did. But I actually made the move the following year, and he stayed put. Wasn't really supposed to work out that way. But one must take life as it comes.

[andrew61]

Originally Posted by marothisu

If you are riding the train on a friday or saturday night too, for example, through some nightlife zones, then that can be easy too. Can't tell you how many people just start up a conversation with me riding the train at like 1am. Some of the busier trains can definitely just seem like a bar where people talk to one another freely.

And cheaper than patronizing a real bar, that's for sure.

[pomgreen]

Interview Q: Probably a mix of small talk and gauging your earnest interest in being there. Having worked at a large firm in a major west coast city we do ask this in interviews every once in a while but usually it's a mix of small talk/making sure the person isn't just on a whim thinking this new city will be so amazing and magical. That said I moved cross-country to my current location fully admitting I had no reason to go to that city other than the opportunity fit and I was looking for a change.

New to Chicago: I think you'll be fine but it's not going to be immediate. It will take time to be more than acquaintances and more time to be true friends. Some of that time might have moments of lonely but it also gives you a lot of freedom to do what you want to do.

Most important: I will also be making the move to Chicago in a few weeks and I don't really know anyone (new city no friends yet - again!). I'm also 29, office will be in the loop - still not sure where I'll live. You can tell them I'm your friend.

[ChiNaan]

Originally Posted by AriannaB

It's just that I just finished yet another phone interview where they asked me the same question as though there is no possible way I could move there without a pre-established network of friends.

Originally Posted by marothisu

That seems like an odd question to ask.

I find that to be an odd question, as well. I've never asked that when interviewing someone, and have never been asked that when being interviewed. To me it's a bit too close to asking about relationship status, which is illegal in a job interview. I'm not saying asking about friend networks is illegal, but it strikes me as unprofessional.

[Vlajos]

Originally Posted by marothisu

I've been seeing it more and more every year since I've been here. I have a small handful of friends from the Miami area who live here, and have some more that are from either LA or the bay area, or NY/Philadelphia area. You're seeing it more and more that Chicago is becoming a destination for "young professionals" but obviously it's still behind the likes of NYC and the bay area, and probably LA, I agree. But really, I've been seeing it more and more where people from outside of the midwest, within the US, are moving here.

Maybe I'm "lucky" though, but many of my friends here are not originally from the midwest. Trying to think here, but let's see. I have friends here from Bulgaria, Malaysia, Scotland, Saudi Arabia, Brazil, Puerto Rico, Mexico, Vancouver, Delhi (India), Paris, Romania, Miami, LA, San Diego, San Francisco, Boston, Phoenix, NYC area, Atlanta, Morocco, Iraq, North Carolina, Argentina, China, Taiwan, Poland, Japan, etc...so perhaps I'm just lucky?

I have a very similar mix of friends and coworkers. I think it's just you and me though.....

[marothisu]

Originally Posted by Vlajos

I have a very similar mix of friends and coworkers. I think it's just you and me though.....

I'd laugh if we actually knew each other in real life but had no idea we went on this forum. But honestly, since I have lived here, I have always met people from the coasts or originally other countries. The thing is that I feel as if some people on here may stereotype a bit based on looks and not talk to people. I have a few friends from the bay area for example that upon looking at them and their styles, someone would probably stereotype as being from the midwest but they aren't at all. There are tons of midwest transplants here, don't get me wrong, but I have always met people from elsewhere since day 1 of living here.

[jman07]

Sounds like your fortunate enough to have a workplace where there will be a ton of people your age. Thats how most new people make their social circles. You'll find that people are more active and just have more going on in their lives that other cities. People from work will go out after work, throw parties, invite you out for other things. You will have no problem. When I first moved here, I found a rommie off craigslist and neither of us really knew anyone. He developed a huge social network just through work. We were never bored.

I think they asked if you knew anyone just because you come from so far away. They might be worried about you quitting after a year because of the culture shock and being so far away from family and friends. The risk for them comes from the possibility that you don't make any friends, the culture shock, and not having family and friends here. If all three of those things happen, chances are you would leave to go back closer to home. But if you move here from Indiana or Wisconson with no family or friends in the city, it still would not be as large of a culture shock, and you could still drive back home easier to see family and friends.

If they ask, I would just say yes to avoid the awkwardness.

[AriannaB]

Originally Posted by marothisu

Maybe I'm "lucky" though, but many of my friends here are not originally from the midwest. Trying to think here, but let's see. I have friends here from Bulgaria, Malaysia, Scotland, Saudi Arabia, Brazil, Puerto Rico, Mexico, Vancouver, Delhi (India), Paris, Romania, Miami, LA, San Diego, San Francisco, Boston, Phoenix, NYC area, Atlanta, Morocco, Iraq, North Carolina, Argentina, China, Taiwan, Poland, Japan, etc...so perhaps I'm just lucky?

I love this! I don't think it's about whether you're "lucky" or not but rather about being open-minded to other cultures. Dallas has diversity but it's not integrated and it is very easy to determine which areas are more white/black/Asian/Mexican.

[AriannaB]

Originally Posted by MoItaly

I am not sure I get why you felt you had to lie about not having friends in Chicago...if you've never been there, of course you know nobody. Anyway, I came from Italy to the USA without having friends and 15 years later I am doing fine.

I have been to Chicago several times on vacation and business travel but I don't have any friends living there.

[AriannaB]

Originally Posted by thefallensrvnge

To the OP, I say do it. Mary Tyler Moore the hell out of it. It could be the start of a great adventure.

Thanks!