Is Chicago truly friendly?? (high crime, home, unemployment rate)
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I have lived in Chicago for about 9 months. Let me first say this... Chicago has a lot of great things going on. Beautiful architecture, lakefront location, urban vibe that costs less than the coasts.
With that said, I have found Chicagoans to be surprisingly cold and unfriendly. As a visitor, I guess I didn't really notice, but as someone who lives here, it's frustrating. Chicago doesn't have the same "rude, in your face" vibe as cities on the east coast have (but, at least that's honest). Here, it's more passive aggressive... like, "I'll smile as you get on the train, but I'll intentionally hold out my foot to trip you as you get off." I think that a lot of people pretend like Chicago is friendly because it's in the Midwest.
Don't get me wrong... I've met some really nice people here. But with that said, why are there hordes of bitter, angry and miserable people in this city? Is it the awful weather? High crime? Bad local economy? I don't get it. I want so badly to connect with this community because I love a lot about Chicago, but I feel like the locals here have no pride in their city and seem very beat down. It's depressing. And, it shows all over the city. Smiles are hard to be found.
How is Chicago to stay relevant as a city of the future if the people here continue to treat their fellow citizens (and tourists) in such a cold, condescending manner? If Chicagoans can't even muster a little respect for one another, how are we supposed to survive in a global economy?
In your experience, have you found Chicagoans to be friendly?
As an ex Chicagoan, I agree with some of what you've written.
I think there are friendly people everywhere. Even in NYC. The friendliest part of Chicago I thought was Hyde Park. It was common to see men allow women to get on the bus before them, get a nod and or a good morning walking down the street. It was an authentic type friendliness.
Go to some areas they would not speak unless they wanted something. What killed me is how people would nearly run you over to get to a train platform to wait 5 minutes for then next train.
I'm in St. Louis now in a very transient neighborhood and the city seems so laid back in comparison. People will look you in the eye while speaking and some will talk your ears off if you have time. Last weekend I was in a grocery store in the suburbs (with a high snob effect) and people looked like they where scared of each other.
I guess it depends on where you are in the city just like any other place. If you don't like one area there is always another area to choose that will fit.
How is Chicago to stay relevant as a city of the future if the people here continue to treat their fellow citizens (and tourists) in such a cold, condescending manner? If Chicagoans can't even muster a little respect for one another, how are we supposed to survive in a global economy?
In your experience, have you found Chicagoans to be friendly?
Where do you live? I know all my neighbors and we're all at least cordial, and some are downright friendly. I smile at people on the street all the time, and they usually smile back. I'm rarely condescended to. And, no, I don't live in some small suburb, I live in River North, pretty much smack in the center of the City. And in other neighborhoods I find people to be just as friendly. I've certainly never seen someone intentionally trip someone getting off the train, and I've lived here for most of the past 20 years.
So, yes, I find Chicago to be an exceptionally friendly city.
As for "global economy," friendliness has nearly nothing to do with whether Chicago will survive in a global economy. I'm not sure why you'd even link the two issues.
I have lived in Chicago for about 9 months. Let me first say this... Chicago has a lot of great things going on. Beautiful architecture, lakefront location, urban vibe that costs less than the coasts.
With that said, I have found Chicagoans to be surprisingly cold and unfriendly. As a visitor, I guess I didn't really notice, but as someone who lives here, it's frustrating. Chicago doesn't have the same "rude, in your face" vibe as cities on the east coast have (but, at least that's honest). Here, it's more passive aggressive... like, "I'll smile as you get on the train, but I'll intentionally hold out my foot to trip you as you get off." I think that a lot of people pretend like Chicago is friendly because it's in the Midwest.
Don't get me wrong... I've met some really nice people here. But with that said, why are there hordes of bitter, angry and miserable people in this city? Is it the awful weather? High crime? Bad local economy? I don't get it. I want so badly to connect with this community because I love a lot about Chicago, but I feel like the locals here have no pride in their city and seem very beat down. It's depressing. And, it shows all over the city. Smiles are hard to be found.
How is Chicago to stay relevant as a city of the future if the people here continue to treat their fellow citizens (and tourists) in such a cold, condescending manner? If Chicagoans can't even muster a little respect for one another, how are we supposed to survive in a global economy?
In your experience, have you found Chicagoans to be friendly?
A few thoughts, and it has nothing to do with weather, crime, or bad local economy (side note: unemployment rate is high, but there are many industries doing quite well). I think you haven't thought this one through at all:
1) You have to learn what being friendly actually means. Just because you don't see people smiling when they're walking down the street or picking out their favorite type of apples, or smiling every time they look at you doesn't mean they aren't friendly people. You have no idea what is going on in their head. Perhaps a family member just died. Perhaps they are just a shy person and smiling is seen as pushing the boundaries for them. Perhaps they had a long day at work and want nothing better to do than get home and relax and talk to NOBODY. Perhaps they're tired as hell and need to sleep. Perhaps it's that time of the month. Perhaps they have a headache. Perhaps they're having spousal issues or their boyfriend/girlfriend broke up with them. Perhaps they're late to a function and are worrying about it. Perhaps they are deep in thought about one of a million things in the world. Perhaps they are oblivious to the world around them.
There could be one of a thousand things going on with someone at the time you see them on the street or wherever. Just because they look miserable doesn't mean they aren't friendly people. Just because you aren't smiling while walking down the street or sipping your coffee, or picking up your cereal doesn't mean you aren't a friendly person.
I can relate to this - I am a very friendly person but I am not randomly smiling while doing pretty much anything. I smile at people sometimes randomly on the street but not that much. I'd hate for someone to just automatically think I'm a jerk because I don't look happy (even though I am).
Realize there's 2.7 million people in this city and whomever else is in the city that doesn't live here. Not everyone is the same - people have all different types of stuff going on and there's tons of different types of personalities going on.
2) When and where are you? Oh are you in the Loop during business hours - there's your problem. See one of the explanations above. At the beginning of my work day, I am still semi tired and trying to get to work. At the end of work, I am worn down because my job is very mentally taxing and very possibly it could have been very stressful. Often times all I want to do is go home and take an hour long nap. Does this mean I'm not a friendly person? No, not at all. It means that I have stuff going on and you, as a stranger, are not a priority in my life.
3) While some people are passive aggressive on the train, I've rarely seen it and I've been riding the train twice a day pretty much for the last 5 years here. Now, I have gotten angry at people before and others have too - usually either nothing is said or something is said. I haven't seen a lot of middle ground. Remember though it's important not to generalize. Just because you saw something 5 times doesn't mean you can generalize an entire population. What you're doing is no different than what a bigot might do to a group of people. Pretend you've been riding the train with an average of 40 people twice a day, 5 days a week, for 32 weeks. If you saw this happen 10 times before - that's out of basically 14,400 riders. Not very good odds even for that. Don't generalize. Realize the city is full of many different types of people and many people function differently than one another.
4) The "niceness" thing is overrated. People are nice when you compare to NYC and other NE cities, but people who come here expecting to see hoards of others smiling wherever they go will be in for a big surprise. I do find people friendly in general but it's not the type of thing that you are going to see everyone walking down the street with large smiles on their faces like they just smoked a large joint.
On a side note: when I'm not coming home from work or stressed, I smile at random strangers sometimes. However, I can be shy around certain strangers in the sense that I might not smile or say anything to them (I may still look confident, but inside I may not want to do anything with them). I am friendly with people in my building and others I see a bit in my neighborhood (Gold Coast). I don't find Chicago THE friendliest place, but the people here are in general good natured at the core I find. I grew up in Minnesota, which is "Minnesota Nice" which is completely a facade. Truly most of the biggest jerks I've ever met were from Minnesota and put some people in NYC to shame. You don't know passive aggressive until you live in that state. Whatever happens in Chicago is absolute Child's Play * 100 compared to that state.
Last edited by marothisu; 04-30-2014 at 09:33 PM..
Chicagoans seem a little reticent to start conversations, except occasionally about the weather. I don't think it's condescension; it's more of an old-fashioned Midwestern formality. They won't intrude into a stranger's space, even to smile at you. But if you're smiling at them first and are willing to start doing the talking, many are practically dying to talk.
Sure, they may complain sometimes, but that's because they have an underlying pride in the City and hate to see it go down. And even if they do complain, it's a means of connecting with others, and in fact, a universal means of doing so.
Chicagoans seem a little reticent to start conversations, except occasionally about the weather. I don't think it's condescension; it's more of an old-fashioned Midwestern formality. They won't intrude into a stranger's space, even to smile at you. But if you're smiling at them first and are willing to start doing the talking, many are practically dying to talk.
Sure, they may complain sometimes, but that's because they have an underlying pride in the City and hate to see it go down. And even if they do complain, it's a means of connecting with others, and in fact, a universal means of doing so.
This is true - but people need to remember that Chicago is not just full of people from the Midwest. There's people from all around the country and world here. You can't just pick out 20 random people if you're in a popular area and just assume most of them are from the midwest originally.
A few thoughts, and it has nothing to do with weather, crime, or bad local economy (side note: unemployment rate is high, but there are many industries doing quite well). I think you haven't thought this one through at all:
1) You have to learn what being friendly actually means. Just because you don't see people smiling when they're walking down the street or picking out their favorite type of apples, or smiling every time they look at you doesn't mean they aren't friendly people. You have no idea what is going on in their head. Perhaps a family member just died. Perhaps they are just a shy person and smiling is seen as pushing the boundaries for them. Perhaps they had a long day at work and want nothing better to do than get home and relax and talk to NOBODY. Perhaps they're tired as hell and need to sleep. Perhaps it's that time of the month. Perhaps they have a headache. Perhaps they're having spousal issues or their boyfriend/girlfriend broke up with them. Perhaps they're late to a function and are worrying about it. Perhaps they are deep in thought about one of a million things in the world. Perhaps they are oblivious to the world around them.
There could be one of a thousand things going on with someone at the time you see them on the street or wherever. Just because they look miserable doesn't mean they aren't friendly people. Just because you aren't smiling while walking down the street or sipping your coffee, or picking up your cereal doesn't mean you aren't a friendly person.
I can relate to this - I am a very friendly person but I am not randomly smiling while doing pretty much anything. I smile at people sometimes randomly on the street but not that much. I'd hate for someone to just automatically think I'm a jerk because I don't look happy (even though I am).
Realize there's 2.7 million people in this city and whomever else is in the city that doesn't live here. Not everyone is the same - people have all different types of stuff going on and there's tons of different types of personalities going on.
2) When and where are you? Oh are you in the Loop during business hours - there's your problem. See one of the explanations above. At the beginning of my work day, I am still semi tired and trying to get to work. At the end of work, I am worn down because my job is very mentally taxing and very possibly it could have been very stressful. Often times all I want to do is go home and take an hour long nap. Does this mean I'm not a friendly person? No, not at all. It means that I have stuff going on and you, as a stranger, are not a priority in my life.
3) While some people are passive aggressive on the train, I've rarely seen it and I've been riding the train twice a day pretty much for the last 5 years here. Now, I have gotten angry at people before and others have too - usually either nothing is said or something is said. I haven't seen a lot of middle ground. Remember though it's important not to generalize. Just because you saw something 5 times doesn't mean you can generalize an entire population. What you're doing is no different than what a bigot might do to a group of people. Pretend you've been riding the train with an average of 40 people twice a day, 5 days a week, for 32 weeks. If you saw this happen 10 times before - that's out of basically 14,400 riders. Not very good odds even for that. Don't generalize. Realize the city is full of many different types of people and many people function differently than one another.
4) The "niceness" thing is overrated. People are nice when you compare to NYC and other NE cities, but people who come here expecting to see hoards of others smiling wherever they go will be in for a big surprise. I do find people friendly in general but it's not the type of thing that you are going to see everyone walking down the street with large smiles on their faces like they just smoked a large joint.
On a side note: when I'm not coming home from work or stressed, I smile at random strangers sometimes. However, I can be shy around certain strangers in the sense that I might not smile or say anything to them (I may still look confident, but inside I may not want to do anything with them). I am friendly with people in my building and others I see a bit in my neighborhood (Gold Coast). I don't find Chicago THE friendliest place, but the people here are in general good natured at the core I find. I grew up in Minnesota, which is "Minnesota Nice" which is completely a facade. Truly most of the biggest jerks I've ever met were from Minnesota and put some people in NYC to shame. You don't know passive aggressive until you live in that state. Whatever happens in Chicago is absolute Child's Play * 100 compared to that state.
People get headaches and have long days and get busy with their lives in other cities, too. My whole point is that Chicagoans on the average in my observation, seem a little more closed off than some other cities. I don't expect everyone to walk down the sidewalk with a big huge grin. But, why the prevailing sad and downtrodden attitudes everywhere? Life's not that bad. With that said, this attitude seems to extend into the workplace as well. Even within professional environments, it seems more difficult to connect here.
People get headaches and have long days and get busy with their lives in other cities, too. My whole point is that Chicagoans on the average in my observation, seem a little more closed off than some other cities. I don't expect everyone to walk down the sidewalk with a big huge grin. But, why the prevailing sad and downtrodden attitudes everywhere? Life's not that bad. With that said, this attitude seems to extend into the workplace as well. Even within professional environments, it seems more difficult to connect here.
Again, just personal observations.
I've traveled around the world a lot - it truly depends on where you are, the time of day, etc in MANY places. I've not encountered many places where people were just going around seemingly extremely happy no matter what. Best example I've found was in the British Virgin Islands. Happiest and friendliest people I've ever met.
With that being said - the only time I see real downtrodden people are when it's around offices during work hours (mainly on the way to work or when people are coming home). Or when it's really cold/crappy out. I know the weather has taken a toll on people. Realize we just got out of the single worst winter in recorded history for Chicago. And while we've had some good days lately, it's still behind what it should be. I've been here for 5 years and I will agree that this winter people seem to be a little sadder/angrier/whatever than the others. Can you blame them though?
On the other hand, I see people quite often smiling and laughing whenever I go out to eat at the more popular bars/clubs/lounges and restaurants. However, I still don't think you have thought about it too much. You say "life's not that bad." What gives you the right to decide this for other people again? Again, there's 2.7 million people in this city + visitors. Not everyone functions the same way in life, and not everyone has the same **** going on. Again, friendliness has nothing to do with smiling at you (example) in public. Just because someone doesn't show this doesn't mean they're unfriendly. I have a friend who lives here who's originally from Brazil. He hardly ever smiles - in fact, he got in a fight with a gang in Brazil once because of this. They literally chased him through a street and he had to climb a 4 story building to get away from them so they wouldn't kill him. Why? He looks like he's always pissed off which got him into trouble with them, but that's his normal look. He's one of the friendliest and one of the most genuine people I've ever met anywhere in the world still, and he is a happy guy. Unfortunately, there's going to be people who judge him just because his natural look is that he's kind of angry.
Last edited by marothisu; 04-30-2014 at 10:19 PM..
People get headaches and have long days and get busy with their lives in other cities, too. My whole point is that Chicagoans on the average in my observation, seem a little more closed off than some other cities. I don't expect everyone to walk down the sidewalk with a big huge grin. But, why the prevailing sad and downtrodden attitudes everywhere? Life's not that bad. With that said, this attitude seems to extend into the workplace as well. Even within professional environments, it seems more difficult to connect here.
Again, just personal observations.
I can understand where you are coming from. It's all about location. Depending on where you are from, Chicago is not as upbeat in the winter months. I know you said that you've only been there for 9 months. That may be the issue. What part of town do you live in?
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Chicago is friendly
