Good 1st Date Spot (teach, charges, town)

[abdoali777]

thats weird!! i ve lived in chicago for 11 months also. i moved here on december 12 2007. origanally from ohio. just read your message and thought that was funny.

[Gtownoe]

Ok...so...

My date stood me up (kinda). I was supposedly supposed to get a text message that afternoon but never did. It supposedly never got sent. But I did get a phone call the next date and we rescheduled and things went well.

I had leverage for being stood up so I got a meal cooked for me.

I was so pissed I got stood up I never came back to respond to this post. But now that I found out it wasn't intentional I got my pride back and figured I'd come back with an update.

Thanks for the suggestions. I think I have tons of great ideas for the future!

[sharkylittleton]

Originally Posted by Gtownoe

Ok...so...

My date stood me up (kinda). I was supposedly supposed to get a text message that afternoon but never did. It supposedly never got sent. But I did get a phone call the next date and we rescheduled and things went well.

I had leverage for being stood up so I got a meal cooked for me.

I was so pissed I got stood up I never came back to respond to this post. But now that I found out it wasn't intentional I got my pride back and figured I'd come back with an update.

Thanks for the suggestions. I think I have tons of great ideas for the future!

Wait... the text message that was supposedly never sent? Meaning she never sent it or supposedly sent it but you never received it?

Darn those pesky text messages.

[Mamama Mia]

Thanks for the update!

[oakparkV]

True that, Smart! This is how the boyf and I got started. First date was coffee, second date was drinks, third date was lunch, and so on...
8 months later, we're browsing real estate listings in search of a condo to buy together But that's a whole other topic...

At any rate, one of our early dates was a night out in Wicker Park. We grabbed a drink at Estelle's, checked out a band at Phyllis' Music Inn, ate some midnight tacos at La Pasadita, then had our first kiss in the alley... It was low-key, but still one of the greatest dates I'd ever gone on, and I fell hard for the guy!

Originally Posted by SmartGXL

Just my two cents here, for what it's worth...

On a first date, as a guy, I usually aim for something low key and safe, like getting coffee at a place like Intelligentsia. I usually tell the girl, "Hey, im going to go get coffee tonight, would you like to join me? We can hang out and talk for a little bit". You never want to "invest" too much, after all it is nothing more than a first date, the objective of which is to learn more about her (and her about you), that way you can both see if you really like each other at all (beyond the physical attraction). You never want to go overboard, or overly romantic and you dont want to "trap" the other person (or yourself) on a bad date by eating dinner or going for carriage rides etc. I never take a girl out to eat on a first date at all.

Now, what I do, with coffee, is if it is going well, I will tell her I am in the mood to go get a drink...and walk there...this in essence becomes the 'second date"...hahaha...this is very effective, you are slowly escalating but not going overboard.

Then, the "next date" can be dinner and then whatever else...

Also, two more reasons to avoid taking a girl out to dinner on the first date:

1. If you buy dinner, it can make someone feel like they "owe you" and can be awkward if they did not have a good time on the date, or have decided that they do not like you for dating purposes.
2. By offering to go for coffee only, it helps to eliminate the "dinner scammer" girls who will PRETEND to want to meet you for a date, but are just using you for a free meal (or a free movie, etc). These girls are EVERYWHERE in online dating, especially match dot com, craigs list dot com, etc. So you have to screen them out. how the scam works, is they chat back and forth with you over email, they try to create an image that they are really into you and want to meet you, they try to structure the date around dinner and/or a movie, and agree to meet you. They meet you, have the dinner, act interested and as soon as you pay the bill, BAM, they are out of there, they cant run out of there fast enough! These girls will line up "dates" like this 4 or 5 nights a week, it gives them a chance to eat out for free on someone else's dime. This happened to me at least 6 or 7 times, years ago, when I first started using online dating services, before I caught on to what was happening. It is basicly a scam. Same thing goes on at bars and nightclubs: a girl acts interested, gets you to buy her a drink, and then as soon as you pay for it, she turns around and leaves! Really dishonest and classless.

[jessiegirl_98]

Originally Posted by Brandwein

Ha!!!!!!!

Excellent post!!! I remember those days myself. Cheers for that post! Too funny! For me it was that Mexican place next to the Hunt Club and Dublin's on Maple.

Blue Agave. Well, I actually met my fiance at the Hunt Club, so I think that makes it 100x's worse!

[sharkylittleton]

Originally Posted by jessiegirl_98

Blue Agave. Well, I actually met my fiance at the Hunt Club, so I think that makes it 100x's worse!

No way. My cousin met his wife at Excalibur. They are native Chicagoans. Top that.

[coolyfett]

Originally Posted by Gtownoe

Ok, so I've been in Chicago a total of 11 months. I currently live in the Wrigleyville neighborhood. I'm still adjusting to the city and searching for places to explore.

I finally have a 1st date I'm excited about (1st in a long time) and I am trying to decide on a good 1st date spot. I want to pick something fun and casual or scenic followed by something romantic. I know its going to be pretty cold but I'm open to something brief that might be outdoors.

Example: Something fun or scenic (park, walk, bowling, putt-putt, etc) followed by a romantic restaurant.

Were both in our 20's.

Any suggestions are appreciated.

Hmmmm....That's whats up man. Stay away from Romantic!!! Keep the whole thing fun my dude. 1st dates should be relaxing for a female, romantic dates are for later down the line. Girls just wanna have fun. So make the whole date be about fun. The more fun she has the more she will like you. I want you to hit it! But if you do romance she is going to think you are corny. Treat her like a cousin you ain't seen in a while. Don't act like a lonely man that wants a girlfriend. Keep the date fun. Good luck. I hope you hit it my brotha. Ill give you a rep point peace.

[coolyfett]

Originally Posted by Mamama Mia

How about Lucky Strike for bowling and then any of the bars in the area for drinks?
Or Piece for pizza, Hot Chocolate for dessert?

Rep point! Exactly, keep it fun & simple, save the horse ride for when you know she is feeling you. Women want to have fun!!! some want to spend your money, but most want to have a good time. I think the OP is going for too serious. She don't know you like that. No matter how long its been you gotta keep your cool and act like you have experience. Never do romance on the first date. Always do fun & humor filled activities. Trust me.

[GoCUBS1]

Originally Posted by coolyfett

Hmmmm....That's whats up man. Stay away from Romantic!!! Keep the whole thing fun my dude. 1st dates should be relaxing for a female, romantic dates are for later down the line. Girls just wanna have fun. So make the whole date be about fun. The more fun she has the more she will like you. I want you to hit it! But if you do romance she is going to think you are corny. Treat her like a cousin you ain't seen in a while. Don't act like a lonely man that wants a girlfriend. Keep the date fun. Good luck. I hope you hit it my brotha. Ill give you a rep point peace.

You are right on w/this advice IMO too much romance on a 1st date can seem desperate (sorry, I think a horse-drawn carriage ride is corny and they smell too). I just saw this funny (mindless) TV show called "The Pick-up Artist." There's this dating consultant guy who teaches these geeky guys (not saying anyone on this forum is geeky) how to attract women. He pretty much says the same thing you've said. But he charges alot more for it. It's all about fun and making them laugh (hey, how about a comedy club?).