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The reason for church is not for your edification, it is for edification and service to the rest of the body. It's nice to have a wonderful praise band, a dynamic and charismatic preacher, many programs that minister to all kinds of demographics, but that's all butter and jam on the bread. If the pastors teach and preach the scriptures and the body is functionally serving each other, that is enough.
How long it takes you to find such a church, well, that all depends on what you want to put into it. If what you want to contribute to the body is little, go to the church down the street. If you want to contribute your whole heart into worship (which includes serving the body with your Gifts) then go to the church down the street. But don't blame the church for using (or not using) you, it is your choice to serve as you feel right to serve (as God has directed you to serve). Six months seems like it should be enough time to find a suitable church, but you can find a good church in which to serve in 3 weeks if you are prayerfully researching them.
Having said that, we all want to worship with a like minded body, so read the doctrinal statements of those churches you want to visit and see if they align with your beliefs, if not put them on a lower priority than those that do. Nowadays, churches have their sermons online so you can hear the messages even before you actually visit them.
I cannot agree with the idea of not going to church, especially if it is because someone stands behind a pulpit. Where else is the speaker to stand? That's a rather trivial reason not to assemble together with other believers. We are command to gather together by way of the negative, 'Do not forsake the gathering together.' Where ever you end up, be part of serving the body, but don't let the body dictate how you serve.
most churchianity worship centers call it serving the lord, it is more like churches having free labor. just check the bulletings, if you see a large list of ministries, you better know that they will make you get involved or make you feel as if you are not serving the lord. I say take your time, it is not fair just to visit a church once and decide it is not your choice. some churches might have a great speaker and you decide to stay, only to find out that the church is just another cookie cutter part of the system. Find a place where you will be at peace doing whatever you volunteer to do. if you feel any type of burden, then it can become bondage. Take your time, pray, and wait. repeat several times.
I was in a very "busy" church for three years and I feel burned out.
While I'm tired of constantly baking, making banners, volunteering at nurseries, serving on church counsel, decorating, cleaning up, painting faces, preparing for parties and church events and I need time to heal, I also miss being in fellowship with other believers.
Recently, I met a woman who had a similar experience while her husband was an assistant pastor at a medium sized church. Her feeling was to do what I had said in an earlier post, was to "get lost in a megachurch, listen to music, sing and worship - and heal.
Meeting this woman when I did confirmed that I am "not the only one". I've decided to visit churches until I find the one that feels right to me.
I am not putting denominational strictures on where I attend. I am visiting some that are in the denomination that I was raised in, and others that are not. I'm really trying to get a feel of different church traditions or styles of worship.
So far, I have visited two. There are good things about both. But I am not sure yet. I have about 20 on my list.
I am wondering if anyone else has ever been in this situation, and if so, how long did you give yourself to find a church home?
Reasonably, I'd say that six months would be a good time frame. It will give me a chance to visit all of the churches that look interesting to me, and to get a feel for which ones seem to have be operating under the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
I am seeking a place where Christianity is practiced, not Churchianty.
Please pray for me as I embark on this journey. Thank you.
Good for you Sheena!
Being willing to make a change in your faith community, and taking the time to really seek the place you feel called to be, is awesome.
So many of us just stay in the churches we've always been in, or our families have always been in, even though we aren't being well-fed or growing spiritually.
I truly believe that when you find the right church, God will speak to your heart to let you know "this is it" pretty quickly.
You've only been to visit 2 so far, so keep visiting. This might take a few months, even up to six months. But keep visiting, God will lead you to the right place. I would suggest that you only visit once at every place initially so that you can experience more communities.
Then, when you do find where you believe you've been led, don't jump right in to join or sign up for activities. Attend regularly for a while and observe. Just take your time and don't let anyone pressure you into joining right up and getting immediately involved in anything.
Pray for the discernment to know where God wants you to spend your time, talents and treasure while growing in your knowledge, faith and love for Him!
The purpose of a church is to worship God and inspiration. However, Bible study groups usually are quite small, even in large churches. This is where you really learn about the Bible, and each other. Being aloof and cliquish in these groups is inexcusable. I too, would be looking elsewhere.
I understand and respect your choice not to attend church. I still have a daughter at home and we are prayerfully thinking of adopting two younger children.
Your sensitivity to my issues with my former church is well appreciated. So many people are questioning and doubting my account of events. I was very hurt by this church. I almost did not know how much, until I stopped attending. I have been a Christian for 20 years when I became water baptized. After a while, I found my way back to the denomination of my youth. That was mostly because of the political and social beliefs of some of the other churches. For example, I left one church (Plymouth Brethren) because the minister began preaching that Apartheid, as practiced in South Africa was "Godly" and that Blacks were happy with the situation there. I sped for the door.
Churches I've attended during the 1980s before returning to my childhood church, include Assemblies of God , Baptist, Evangelical Free, Evangelical Presbyterian and a few non denom churches. I have never been a "church hopper". I left each of those churches because of the political and social agenda.
At the time, Pat Robertson was handing out voter check lists to basically insure that church goers voted as conservative Republicans.
I really do not want any political agenda in church - Left or Right.
I understand and respect your choice not to attend church. I still have a daughter at home and we are prayerfully thinking of adopting two younger children.
Your sensitivity to my issues with my former church is well appreciated. So many people are questioning and doubting my account of events. I was very hurt by this church. I almost did not know how much, until I stopped attending. I have been a Christian for 20 years when I became water baptized. After a while, I found my way back to the denomination of my youth. That was mostly because of the political and social beliefs of some of the other churches. For example, I left one church (Plymouth Brethren) because the minister began preaching that Apartheid, as practiced in South Africa was "Godly" and that Blacks were happy with the situation there. I sped for the door.
Churches I've attended during the 1980s before returning to my childhood church, include Assemblies of God , Baptist, Evangelical Free, Evangelical Presbyterian and a few non denom churches. I have never been a "church hopper". I left each of those churches because of the political and social agenda.
At the time, Pat Robertson was handing out voter check lists to basically insure that church goers voted as conservative Republicans.
I really do not want any political agenda in church - Left or Right.
I completely agree, political and social agenda have no place in church. I was born and baptized as a Brethren but have since leaving home attended Presbyterian churches. The Prestyterian's seem to keep politics and social agenda out. They believe in prayer and the Apostles Creed.
most churchianity worship centers call it serving the lord, it is more like churches having free labor. just check the bulletings, if you see a large list of ministries, you better know that they will make you get involved or make you feel as if you are not serving the lord. I say take your time, it is not fair just to visit a church once and decide it is not your choice. some churches might have a great speaker and you decide to stay, only to find out that the church is just another cookie cutter part of the system. Find a place where you will be at peace doing whatever you volunteer to do. if you feel any type of burden, then it can become bondage. Take your time, pray, and wait. repeat several times.
I agree with you. I am visiting many churches and making this choice prayerfully. There is no rush.
If I am pressured, I'll run.
Being willing to make a change in your faith community, and taking the time to really seek the place you feel called to be, is awesome.
So many of us just stay in the churches we've always been in, or our families have always been in, even though we aren't being well-fed or growing spiritually.
I truly believe that when you find the right church, God will speak to your heart to let you know "this is it" pretty quickly.
You've only been to visit 2 so far, so keep visiting. This might take a few months, even up to six months. But keep visiting, God will lead you to the right place. I would suggest that you only visit once at every place initially so that you can experience more communities.
Then, when you do find where you believe you've been led, don't jump right in to join or sign up for activities. Attend regularly for a while and observe. Just take your time and don't let anyone pressure you into joining right up and getting immediately involved in anything.
Pray for the discernment to know where God wants you to spend your time, talents and treasure while growing in your knowledge, faith and love for Him!
All the best in this journey
Thank you so much, lovesMountains! Very wise advice. This is what I plan to do. Take it all in and listen for the confirmation from the Holy Spirit.
Attending two more this weekend. I'll report back!
I want to share a little of how my journey to finding a group of people to worship, study and fellowship with came to be. Not unlike you have shared, I hopped around for a while. Trying out Independent, Assembly of God, Church of God, Methodist, Baptist and other congregations. I even ventured from Christian groups and looked into a few cults like the Jehovah Witness', The Worldwide Cog (Armstrong) and Mormonism. What I believe God has shown me was that until I knew what I believed and accepted about and from Him, I was just going around in circles hoping to find a comfortable place.
I was in a very "busy" church for three years and I feel burned out.
While I'm tired of constantly baking, making banners, volunteering at nurseries, serving on church counsel, decorating, cleaning up, painting faces, preparing for parties and church events and I need time to heal, I also miss being in fellowship with other believers.
Recently, I met a woman who had a similar experience while her husband was an assistant pastor at a medium sized church. Her feeling was to do what I had said in an earlier post, was to "get lost in a megachurch, listen to music, sing and worship - and heal.
Meeting this woman when I did confirmed that I am "not the only one". I've decided to visit churches until I find the one that feels right to me.
I am not putting denominational strictures on where I attend. I am visiting some that are in the denomination that I was raised in, and others that are not. I'm really trying to get a feel of different church traditions or styles of worship.
So far, I have visited two. There are good things about both. But I am not sure yet. I have about 20 on my list.
I am wondering if anyone else has ever been in this situation, and if so, how long did you give yourself to find a church home?
Reasonably, I'd say that six months would be a good time frame. It will give me a chance to visit all of the churches that look interesting to me, and to get a feel for which ones seem to have be operating under the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
I am seeking a place where Christianity is practiced, not Churchianty.
Please pray for me as I embark on this journey. Thank you.
Sorry. You have no one but yourself to blame for this. Is the word 'No' in your vocabulary?
As in, "No, I really don't have time to bake three dozen cookies"? Or, "No, I really am a little stretched thin this month. So I won't be able to watch toddlers during church"?
Instead, because you apparently lack the willpower to not affix your name to every single sign-up sheet, you have to blame the church. That's just a lack of maturity on your part. Even clergy will tell people that there's such a thing as volunteering too much.
I've encountered people like you, people whose over-the-top volunteering is really an act of egotism. Somehow, they have it in their head that if they don't participate in everything that goes on, it will be a disaster for the church. And when they work themselves to the point of burnout, suddenly it's the church's fault. In fact, the self-congratulation just oozes out of your OP. It is the lament of a martyr who wants to broadcast how much she's suffering.
Trust me. The roof won't cave in if you let some opportunities for service go by the wayside. Someone else will step up and do whatever job needs to be done. In fact, there will probably be some gratitude if you stepped aside. For if you are really doing all that stuff, it means that you are likely not doing anything well. And it's far preferable that you do one or two things really well than do twenty things badly.
As far as just church shopping is concerned, that's just ludicrous. You'll wind up in the same pattern of self-aggrandizing behavior masquerading as being helpful--no matter where you go.
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