The Day God Spoke To Me (messages, hell, testimony, myth)
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I am sorry this is such a long post, i am sorry for that, but it will be well worth your time to read it entirely.
On August 24, 2011 my beautiful wife of 33 years died of a sudden, massive heart attack. Her name was Bernedette (Berna) and she was only 53 when she died. Berna was fit and healthy, she had no symptoms, nothing to indicate that there was a serious problem of any sort. Her sudden death devatated me, I love her so much, we were so close, so happy. We were "one flesh".
My deep, deep grief over my dear wife's sudden death compelled me to seek the help of others that were dealing with this type of situation. I joined an on-line support forum for widows and wiowers. This forum has many members that are struggling with the loss of a beloved spouse. I discovered that much of the discussion in the forum centered around the topics of GOD, FAITh, and the HEREAFTER. I realized that many people had lost their faith in GOD completely, that many others were questioning their faith, and that many of those that still believed in GOD felt only anger towards HIM.
I joined the forum to seek help for my many grief issues, or to offer some support to those that were suffering like me. However, I suddenly realized that i had an obligation to share with this group of good people an incredilbe experience which happened to me many years ago, an experience which transformed my life and which made it unthinkable for me to question my faith in GOD no matter what horrors life had in store for me.
My goal was to share my testimony, which invloved GOD'S PERSONAL, and ACTIVE intervention in my life, in order to help those people who were suffering through terrible grief like me, but who had abandoned their faith in GOD at a time when they would need HIS help the most.
I posted my testimony to that forum. I did not expect the response I recieved. So many people were so touched and amazed by what I was saying that many of them were able to rekindle their faith. I recieved many, many private messages thanking me for sharing my testimony, and several people suggested that this experience needed to be shared beyond the confines of that particular forum. I was overwhelmed by the response, people were even emailing my post to friends and family, many of which joined the forum just to tell me how much this affected their relationship with GOD.
I now feel an obligation to share this testimony with as many people as possible. In fact, I am struggling with the reality of not sharing it sooner. I am ashamed that for so many years I haD neglected an opportunity to glorify GOD and to help others in their faith. I have certainly let GOD down, as well as many other people who could have benefited from hearing of this marvelous testimony.
I testify that the following is completely true and accurate. The event is etched into my brain as if it happened yesterday. I am a man of very deep faith and I am incapable of exagerrating or embelishing upon this experience, and I am absolutely incapabele of lying about anything.
I was born and raised in the Jewish faith. My family was not particularly religous and we only participated in our religous obligaitons during the Jewish high holidays or special events like my or my siblings comiNg of age rituals (Bar Mitzvah) or weddings and such.
Berna was 18 and I was 19 when we met. We were married three years later. I am an engineer and found a good job in a large firm in Manhattan, NY. We were still in our early 20s when we were expecting our first child. We bought our first house in the western part of New Jersey because we could not afford a house closer to New York. This is only important to the story because for me this meant that I had a two hour commute each way to and from work each day.
We had very little money to spare, so Berna and I would spend much of our free time in one of those new (at the time) super-bookstores, browsing and having coffee. One night I was walking around the store and came upon the Bible section. It occured to me that I Knew nothing about the scriptures, nothing about the holy books that defined my faith.
I stared at these Bibles, suddenly feeling as if I had been missing a great source of understanding, as if I had been neglecting something important my whole life. I picked up one of the Bibles and took it to our table. The first thing that impressed me was how BIG the Old Testament was. It occured to me that I had never seen, or even heaard of most of the books of the Old Testament before. There was so much to know about God and His ways, so much I never knew there was to learn.
While at the store having coffee I read a few Psalms, looked at some Prophets, and just paged through the large amount of content. By chance I had picked up a study Bible (NIV for those who are wondering) with maps, charts, timelines, etc. I decided to purchased the Bible, even though it was over $30.00 which was a large amount of money for us at the time, but i just had to have it. I committed to myself that I would study it and learn all I could about GOD and HIS ways.
I did most of my reading on the bus going to and from work. The long commute gave me time to read and think. I read all the Psalms, the five books of Moses, then I read the Prophets. I was stunned about the number of verses and information that apparently reffered to this suffering Messiah. Here, in the Old Testament was everything the Christians were saying of the man they called Jesus. I was very confused, the Old Testament was not supposed to be about Jesus, yet here it was, prophesies about his birth, ministry, purpose, death, everything in detail.
At first I tried to attribute these things to coincidance, or to my misunderstanding. But as I came across more and more details of this suffering Messiah I could no longer justify my denials that these things were talking about Jesus. So I started reading other books that explained in great detail all of these marvelous prophesies which were fulfilled by Jesus. I could'nt believe it, as a Jew I was shocked, even upset. I didn't really want to accept that these things were prophesies about Jesus, I was actually trying to look for other explanations when reading these other books. I was trying to look for reasons to unburden myself from what my rational mind was absolutely concluding: That Jesus was being revealed to me through the pages of the Old Testament.
I went to speak to my Rabbi, the Rabbi of the temple we had joined in NJ. The Rabbi provided me with many interpreations about these things, but could not adequately dicredit what these things revealed to me because, franky, what he said just didn't make any sense to me. He seemed to be forcing altenative interpretations. To me what the Bible was saying was so clear, nothing needed "interpretaiton". However, what the Rabbi was saying sounded like much mumbo jumbo. I suddenly realized why these things were not read in the synagogues, the only way to understand these things were in the context of the undeniable prophetic revelation about Jesus the Christ.
Now what would I do? Even though I knew what all this meant, I still could not bring myself to accept it. I honestly felt that if I accepted Jesus as the Messiah I would somehow be betraying my Jewish faith, that I would be allying myself with people who had hated, brutalized and killed Jews throughout history. I did not realize at the time that a true follower of Jesus could never hurt a Jew or anyone else, my perception of Christianity was tainted by a history of abuses in the name of Jesus by those who were not true followers of HIS ways.
All i could think of doing was asking God for guidance. I prayed to GOD for help. I said "GOD, I see things in scriptures that lead me to think that maybe what people believe about Jesus is true, that He is the Messiah, that he is Your Son and that through Him we are redeemed from sin. But God, i need your help to really come to this apparent truth, though i see it in the scriptures of my people, i cannot get over the hurdle of final acceptance. I ask for a sign, please help me to see what is the truth."
I'm sorry this is so long but I want to tell the story completely.
Every day I would go to work by taking a bus into Manhattan. The bus would drop me off at the Port Authority bus teminal, and I would walk to my office on Park Ave. That walk was just over a mile, and I did this every day, rain, snow, sunshine. As a person of habit I would walk to my office along the same exact route every day, never deviatiing. I would stop at the same street cart for coffee, I would go to the same deli for my bagel. Same route every day.
One day I was walking to my office, thinking about a project I was doing at my job, when I suddenly became conscious of my not being anywhere near where I was supposed to be. In fact I was a good five blocks from where my normal route should have put me, nothing even looked familiar, I was completely off course and going the wrong way. I approached the corner of the street I was on, I needed to turn the corner to begin going the right way.
Just as I reached the corner and began to turn it, I suddenly heard a VOICE in my head, not my own voice, a completely different voice than the one I hear within me. The VOICE was very clear, it said to me "HERE IS YOUR SIGN". I was stunned at this, because this voice was not mine, I did not control that "thought". It shocked me, and I stood there for a second still stunned, not knowing what just happened.
I finished turning the corner and stood there shocked, but suddenly filled with a joy that I could not explain, a beautiful joy that I had never felt before or since. There, in front of me someone had painted in large red letters on a subway placard that leads into a subway entrance: "JESUS IS GOD". Then it hit me, I had asked for a sign, it had been at least two weeks that I had made that prayer, and I had pretty much left the whole matter alone.
That day the LORD revealed HIMSELF to me. HE actually talked to me. HE gave me a sign, an actual sign. HE guided my steps so that I would be where HE wanted me to be. HE took me from my normal route to show me what I had asked for: a sign. AND I HEARD HIS VOICE. All these things, I felt so blessed that HE would go to that trouble for me. I stood in front of that sign and committed myself to the LORD Jesus right then and there. Wow, what an amazing GOD that HE would do this for one lost soul. HE actually gave me a real SIGN. GOD navigated my steps and actually talked to me. So that is my story of how God really revealed Himself to me. My faith can NEVER, EVER be diminished, no matter what happens in my life.
To this day I wonder if the person who painted that sign over that subway placard has any idea that GOD would actually use his work to reveal HIMSELF to one lost soul who was seeking the truth. Did GOD guide this person to paint on that particular subway placard? Is this person aware that his graffiti changed a life? GOD trully works miracles. Seek and ye shall find. Ask and ye shall recieve.
I pray that this testimony will glorify the LORD, that all who read it may accept the LORD Jesus Christ and be saved.
God Bless all of you.
Thank you for reading this testimony by a Humble Witness.
This sub-forum is not the place for proselytizing or attempting to convert atheists or agnostics. It is meant for atheists and agnostics interested in discussions among themselves and for others who want to learn more about this worldview and are interested in posing non-confrontational questions to atheists or agnostics. Use our main Religion and Philosophy forum if you want to debate the merits of this worldview (but do a search first to see if your topics have already been discussed).
Sorry, not proseltyzing, just sharing a profound experience that may influence other's views. I thought this was an open-minded discussion group, didn't mean to upset the balance of your universe.
Just curious and I don't mean to offend - but why do you feel God chose to show himself to you? Did something come out of this experience that made the world a better place, that wouldn't of happened otherwise..? Since some time has past since this event - what have the affects of God showing himself to you been?
And - what's your opinion on the fact that within our world, children are starving, dying, suffering etc sometimes due to poor choices of parents, and rather than God intervening in those situations - he's showing you a sign on a sidewalk and whispering into your ear?
Again no offense and it's a nice story, but you can always count on tons of questions from us Atheists..
Sorry, not proseltyzing, just sharing a profound experience that may influence other's views. I thought this was an open-minded discussion group, didn't mean to upset the balance of your universe.
You didn't "upset the balance" of our universe, since atheists have zero belief in your mythological deity. You saw a sign, not 'A Sign'. If you hadn't seen that sign, you would have found something else that you would attribute as 'god' speaking to you.
I am glad you shared it and did not feel you were disrespectful at all, I found your story to be quite interesting. Fyi...I am agnostic and was raised a christian...
I am sorry about your wife, my condolences to you...take care.
God did not CHOOSE to show himself to me, He answered the prayer of an honest seeker. God will show himself to you if you seek Him out earnestly. God will show Himself to anyone who chooses to find Him. There is nothing special about me that God should select me, I searched His Word in earnest and he responded to my sincere pursuit of the truth. God will not seek you out, you must seek Him out.
The effect of God responding to me? Well, for one my eternal salvation and the eternal salvation of those close to me who have accepted the LORD has been ensured. To you that may not be significant, but to me it is. We are all important to God, does every small miracle have to affect the entire world? Any soul that is saved is a triumph for the Lord. Who knows, maybe my little testimony will help others seek and find. I do not believe that my entire story has yet been told, so who knows what the final impact will be.
Is there suffering in this world? YES. Is it God's fault? Should God intervene in every sad outcome perpetuated by human indefference or evil? God makes clear that we have FREE WILL, that WE are responsible for the outcome of our actions. If a parent neglects or abuses a child it is that parent that will face judgement. God has instilled a moral code within each of us, we inherently KNOW right from wrong. That is his way of intervening, if we do something wrong we KNOW it, no question. It is we who choose to ignore that moral fabric within us, it is our free will to do so, and we are eventually held accountable for ignoring that indwelling of morality that God has given.
Can we blame God for every disaster that afflicts our world? Monsoons and Hurricanes kill many people, as do earthquakes and volcanos. Should God do away with these natural events just because we humans are so stupid as to keep building habitations where we know these events will occur. The 2004 tsunami that killed 250,000 people barely penetrated one mile inland. Why are we living along such dangerous coasts. We know that a major earthquak will strike nothern California, yet we continue to expand our population presence there. When the "big one" hits so many of us will turn to the heavens and blame God. is that fair? Without hurricanes, earthquakes, monsoons, volcanos this world would be a barren, waterless, radioactive, lifeless wasteland. We should praise God for the fabulous natural control systems that keep our world "alive".
We want our free will yet we want to blame God when people do bad things. If there is no free will then God is in control of everything, no room for faith, no room for us to decide the course of our lives. God chose to give us free will but those like you now complain that we have it. People do bad things, don't blame God, blame the people who are responsible for the poor state of our morality.
Hey, maybe if you ask Him, he'll whisper in your ear too. Perhaps if you too make a sincere attempt at finding Him, He will answer you. I mean no offense by the way, just trying to help a friend.
You didn't "upset the balance" of our universe, since atheists have zero belief in your mythological deity. You saw a sign, not 'A Sign'. If you hadn't seen that sign, you would have found something else that you would attribute as 'god' speaking to you.
How do you know what exactly it is that i saw and heard? I am a rational thinker, i seek the truth, which is why i STUDIED the scriptures. When one seeks truth we must not discount possibilities which may be uncomfortable for us to accept. What exactly is your pretext for condening my belief system as mythology? Have you answers for the statistically impossible through random occurence of fulfilled biblical prophecy? Lets have an honest debate, I am willing to listen to you without disrespecting your belief system, perhaps you will afford me the same consideration.
I am glad you shared it and did not feel you were disrespectful at all, I found your story to be quite interesting. Fyi...I am agnostic and was raised a christian...
I am sorry about your wife, my condolences to you...take care.
Hello Windchimes (love the name hehe), thank you for your kind condoleces. My grief is indeed very deep, but my faith has shown me that this is not the end of my relationship to my wonderful wife. I will see her again, soon i hope.
I am pleased that you were able to find something in my experience that mad you glad i shared it, makes the sarcasm i face here worth it lol.
Thanks again and God Bless you.
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