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One of the hardest things for us to do is to forgive, but Christ tells us that if we don't forgive our brothers sins then he won't forgive ours.
Forgiveness has nothing to do with fellowshipping or worshipping, with the ones who hurt you. I don't believe one is under obligation to continue doing either one. Actions and words can be forgiven, but that doesn't mean they can be forgotten. I cannot speak for the others that have shared their stories here, but for myself, I no longer have the desire, or the need, to go to church. This is, obviously, a personal decision for each of us to make. Others may feel the need to continue to attend, which is fine for them. But, for me, my relationship with my Creator is not dependant on church attendance.
This is likely to be a long thread because I think we've all been there...unfortunately. Even my own pastor has had a situation in which he was deeply hurt by another pastor. ( As was said in the OP, we do expect more of those in the body of Christ and those who are our friends. When they hurt or betray us, it cuts so much deeper.) But as was said in one of the posts above, forgiveness is key here. Sometimes I think we need to:
1) Forgive and just forget about it.
2) Forgive and lovingly discuss/confront about the situation.
or
3) Forgive and extricate ourselves from the situation. (i.e. such as in a church situation where the situation is so bad that the Lord leads us to change churches.) Of course, I think we need to be careful to not "throw the baby out with the bathwater" here. Just because we have been hurt in church doesn't mean that all church situations will be hurtful to us. No church is perfect and if we hold the church to that standard, we are bound to be disappointed. Unfortunately, many Christians do end up "out of church" because of hurts and I think that's regrettable.
or
4) Some combination of the above three options.
Sometimes it takes wisdom and discernment to know which of the three situations the hurt or offense falls under.
Some years, churches, and experiences later, I simply do not attend anywhere, nor do I have the interest to do so. My relationship with my God is no longer dependent on church, or my clothes, or any number of other things that seem to be so important to so many people.
That is true. Unfortunately christians are blinded to that. The church has become centered around money,ego,position, and showmanship. I`m not saying everyone who goes to church is personally that way but the church system itself.They have come to look like rock concerts and motivational seminars. Everyone wants to feel good. These preachers seem to be more concerned with how good they look and sound. They seem to be more about their own ego and personal showmanship. But as long as you stay in the church or surround yourself with that atmosphere you will eventually fall in line with it. You will eventually start to believe what is coming from these pulpits and think this is really worshipping God. You are right Jana,it is hard to tell the difference between the world and some of the secular concerts or seminars anymore because the world has gotten in the church and taken it over. We have tried to change God to accomadate our lifestyle rather then the other way around. On the other hand,I didn`t believe in the fire and brimstone,you`re going to burn in hell forever if you don`t believe like I do either. But at the least,it seemed to be more of a reverence and holiness for God eventhough I don`t believe their doctrine was totally right.`Come out of her my people`
One of the hardest things for us to do is to forgive, but Christ tells us that if we don't forgive our brothers sins then he won't forgive ours.
I don't know what was said nor the situation, and as a brother in Christ I appoligize for the sake of Christ. My question to you is have you prayed about it? Think about this if Jesus quit because someone said something to him that hurt him or made him angry, we would not be worried about going to church or not today. I say this for the sake of Christ more than anything, not to anger or take a side only the side of Christ.
I agree. I actually think I benefited from my experience. Because instead of believing everything in black and white, I was able to see the gray -- meaning, I found my own faith without the direct influence.
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Originally Posted by Ruralgalnebraska
I have come to the same conclusion!
God bless!
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Originally Posted by CelticLady1
Forgiveness has nothing to do with fellowshipping or worshipping, with the ones who hurt you. I don't believe one is under obligation to continue doing either one. Actions and words can be forgiven, but that doesn't mean they can be forgotten. I cannot speak for the others that have shared their stories here, but for myself, I no longer have the desire, or the need, to go to church. This is, obviously, a personal decision for each of us to make. Others may feel the need to continue to attend, which is fine for them. But, for me, my relationship with my Creator is not dependant on church attendance.
Forgiveness has nothing to do with fellowshipping or worshipping, with the ones who hurt you. I don't believe one is under obligation to continue doing either one. Actions and words can be forgiven, but that doesn't mean they can be forgotten. I cannot speak for the others that have shared their stories here, but for myself, I no longer have the desire, or the need, to go to church. This is, obviously, a personal decision for each of us to make. Others may feel the need to continue to attend, which is fine for them. But, for me, my relationship with my Creator is not dependant on church attendance.
I would have to dis-agree with you about forgiveness having nothing to do with fellowship or worship: Without forgiveness we have no fellowship or worship or at least not any fellowship with our Creator. I do agree with you about your relationship with your Creator not dependent on church attendance, I think its because of this dependence on the church so many Christians are led in the wrong direction. We should have a daily relationship with our Creator not once or twice a week.
I would have to dis-agree with you about forgiveness having nothing to do with fellowship or worship: Without forgiveness we have no fellowship or worship or at least not any fellowship with our Creator. I do agree with you about your relationship with your Creator not dependent on church attendance, I think its because of this dependence on the church so many Christians are led in the wrong direction. We should have a daily relationship with our Creator not once or twice a week.
What I was saying, was that one should not feel obligated to continue to fellowship or worship, in a church where they have been hurt by others in the congregration. If I have been hurt, (and I have, more than once), I can forgive these people, but I would not be comfortable continuing to be in the same church with them. Attending a different church, or even not going to church at all, does not change my fellowship with, or my worshipping of, God. Now, if I continually harbored ill-will towards, and/or hatred for, the people in the church who hurt me, that would interfere with my relationship with my Creator. Simply avoiding these same people does not. I hope I cleared that up better.
What I was saying, was that one should not feel obligated to continue to fellowship or worship, in a church where they have been hurt by others in the congregration. If I have been hurt, (and I have, more than once), I can forgive these people, but I would not be comfortable continuing to be in the same church with them. Attending a different church, or even not going to church at all, does not change my fellowship with, or my worshipping of, God. Now, if I continually harbored ill-will towards, and/or hatred for, the people in the church who hurt me, that would interfere with my relationship with my Creator. Simply avoiding these same people does not. I hope I cleared that up better.
Yes in deed you have cleared this up, and I agree with you it would be hard to have fellowship with people who have hurt me.
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