I met a beautiful and wholesome Christian woman (churches, believe, praying)

[Boddicker]

We are both middle aged and she is much stronger in her Christian faith than I am. (Although I am working on that.) She is adamant about not having sex before marriage, so after our dates we will simpy kiss for a minute or so. She also said she is not a prude, but doesn't want to put herself into any situation that will make her do something unholy.

For the experienced and chaste Christians on here, what exactly is my role here in regards to physical intimacy? Do you suggest that I just let her lead the way when we embrace?

I'm tired and admit I haven't done a search on this forum, but imagine this has been a popular topic before. Apologies in advance.

[BaptistFundie]

Originally Posted by Boddicker

We are both middle aged and she is much stronger in her Christian faith than I am. (Although I am working on that.) She is adamant about not having sex before marriage, so after our dates we will simpy kiss for a minute or so. She also said she is not a prude, but doesn't want to put herself into any situation that will make her do something unholy.

For the experienced and chaste Christians on here, what exactly is my role here in regards to physical intimacy? Do you suggest that I just let her lead the way when we embrace?

I'm tired and admit I haven't done a search on this forum, but imagine this has been a popular topic before. Apologies in advance.

No sex before marriage. You can do it. I'd even be careful how much making out you do, it will lead to more.


Do you attend church with her? If not, why not?

[Boddicker]

Originally Posted by BaptistFundie

No sex before marriage. You can do it. I'd even be careful how much making out you do, it will lead to more.


Do you attend church with her? If not, why not?

Have there been instances where man and wife find themselves to be wholly incompatible sexually after marriage?

Yes, we go to church together.

[CCCyou]

Originally Posted by Boddicker

Have there been instances where man and wife find themselves to be wholly incompatible sexually after marriage?
///.

That is almost guaranteed to happen in time, when you don't get to truly know the other person before becoming intimated involved with them.

Your questions indicate you should be getting to know her better first- what are her ideals, what are her expectations? Does she know yours?

Chasity is not only for 'before' marriage, but within marriage also.
A couple of links for you:
https://www.boundless.org/advice/how...thin-marriage/
https://www.ocp.org/en-us/blog/entry...sband-and-wife

[BaptistFundie]

Originally Posted by Boddicker

Have there been instances where man and wife find themselves to be wholly incompatible sexually after marriage?

Yes, we go to church together.

Never that I've heard of. I know of several folks that have had arranged marriages. They manage to figure it out, despite not marrying based on love or attraction.

It really is what you make it out to be. You'll know if you're attracted before you put the ring on her, and she'll know if she likes you. And a good premarital counselor will talk about sexual expectations in the marriage.

I can honestly say that as much as I wanted to jump my wife's bones on the wedding night, I am much more in love with her and attracted to her now after 24 years of marriage. We are connected on a much much deeper level.

[Thoreau424]

Originally Posted by Boddicker

For the experienced and chaste Christians on here, what exactly is my role here in regards to physical intimacy? Do you suggest that I just let her lead the way...

This really is between you two and God. You two should be praying about it with God.

We won't be able to match that level, and worse, the biases and ideas of each of us will only distract from what you would discover directly from God. A lot of what shows above is straight out of churches, rather than the Bible or direct from the source. We also won't know either of you like God knows you.

Don't skip over the most important first - and maybe only - step.

[Meerkat2]

Originally Posted by Boddicker

We are both middle aged and she is much stronger in her Christian faith than I am. (Although I am working on that.) She is adamant about not having sex before marriage, so after our dates we will simpy kiss for a minute or so. She also said she is not a prude, but doesn't want to put herself into any situation that will make her do something unholy.

For the experienced and chaste Christians on here, what exactly is my role here in regards to physical intimacy? Do you suggest that I just let her lead the way when we embrace?

I'm tired and admit I haven't done a search on this forum, but imagine this has been a popular topic before. Apologies in advance.

Congrats!

I don’t believe there is a secret formula to relationships

Romantic relationships are not just about physical intimacy, that is just a part of it, it is also about mutual respect that develops, and to get the best out of a relationship you both should be listening and communicating with each other about what is important to each of you

[Jerwade]

Originally Posted by Meerkat2

Congrats!

I don’t believe there is a secret formula to relationships

Romantic relationships are not just about physical intimacy, that is just a part of it, it is also about mutual respect that develops, and to get the best out of a relationship you both should be listening and communicating with each other about what is important to each of you

I would agree, however most that I have met are consumed with the sex aspect.

[Hannibal Flavius]

Originally Posted by Boddicker

We are both middle aged and she is much stronger in her Christian faith than I am. (Although I am working on that.) She is adamant about not having sex before marriage, so after our dates we will simpy kiss for a minute or so. She also said she is not a prude, but doesn't want to put herself into any situation that will make her do something unholy.

For the experienced and chaste Christians on here, what exactly is my role here in regards to physical intimacy? Do you suggest that I just let her lead the way when we embrace?

I'm tired and admit I haven't done a search on this forum, but imagine this has been a popular topic before. Apologies in advance.

Dude, I mean you need to put on some my way with Elvis or Sinatra, kindly grab her by the back of the hair and put one on her like right now. Yea, start out with some Mexican Bingo, and wind up at an Italian restaurant cause chicks like that stuff, take you a walk downtown in a night with a sprinkling mist, tell her y"all need to get married right away or you will go mad with desire, yea, then put that kiss on her.


Wow though, I wish you two all the best, so very happy somebody might find love, I am going to he upset if you dont keep us informed.

I wanna know everything.


You can always try slow motion lol, it gets a laugh whether it works or not, kinda like that glitchy finger you know is coming, cant help but grin.

So happy for you.

[Hannibal Flavius]

Originally Posted by Jerwade

I would agree, however most that I have met are consumed with the sex aspect.

I know what you mean, that's what soured me from dating, it gets so frustrating and tiresome with being treated like a peace of meat, I am much more than a pretty face.