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I would consider Durham and Chapel Hill fully independent cities from Raleigh in the Triangle metro.
Cary is the eldest love child of Raleigh and Research Triangle Park. I would consider it the Triangle’s most independent suburb—all grown up and fully capable of living on its own.
Apex is a younger love child of Raleigh and RTP. A bit more down to earth and living at home, but may leave the nest (or move in with older sibling Cary) soon. I heard Apex was seeing a feisty former country boy down in Fuquay-Varina, and there was a rumor they may have a secret baby on the way called Holly (Springs).
Morrisville is the quiet often overlooked child of Raleigh and RTP, but has been known to hang out with next door neighbor Durham when not working, watching planes land, or seeking out tasty spicy ethnic food.
Wake Forest (and it’s buddy Rolesville) are young adults, and have been adopted by Raleigh as a suburb, but it’s relationship with RTP has grown apart a bit with crosstown traffic.
Garner is Raleigh’s little brother who decided to go to trade school instead of university, and is happy as a clam to live right next door, so the family can come over for a backyard Barbecue or Sunday Brunch and he can show off his car he’s building in the garage. Cousin Clayton is usually there too, as he’s right down the road.
Chapel Hill and Cary I think both count as "satellite cities" moreso than "suburbs".
I don't see them the same way. While Cary has emerged as typically postwar suburban in nearly all aspects of its existence, Chapel Hill is classically a college town that just happens to be in a greater metro area that has emerged over the past 50+ years. I don't know it well, but I suspect a similar story could be told for Davidson near Charlotte.
Had Wake Forest University remained in the town of Wake Forest, it too would likely follow the same model as Chapel Hill, but has since followed a more typical suburban model of development.
Looking beyond just the Triangle and Charlotte, it would be interesting to see how folks would rank the importance/independence of the state's suburbs. Regardless, I suspect that most lists would start with Cary at the top if people ranked them objectively & not from a personal bias perspective.
For Charlotte, the most independent suburbs would be Gastonia, Concord, Rock Hill, and Huntersville. I live in Gastonia and have lived in Concord. In both cities, we had plenty of shopping, restaurants, parks, and even minor league baseball teams. We pretty much go to Charlotte for major sporting events, concerts, theme park/water park, a favorite niche' restaurant, cultural/the arts, major activities. We love being near Charlotte and its offerings, but also love being in a suburb that's more relaxed, has more elbow room, and still things to do here.
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