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I certainly understand this, and absolutely agree. It's very easy to avoid the places where these judgemental people cluster here though, I avoid them like the plague!
My main place is the only gay sports bar in the region (Woof's), and they also have great pub food. I'm not a huge sports guy either, but it doesn't matter. This place is a definite 'Cheers' here though, and there is another equally cool place across town (Mary's).
Both have many straight regulars (mostly women), a huge mix of guys and are super friendly. Newcomers are welcomed, and usually leave with a smile on their faces and several new acquaintances that will remember them.
I don't perceive Philadelphia as having the sort of A-list obsession (or fashion sense ) of many of the other Tier 1 and Tier 2 cities, but I do know people (my boyfriend being one of those) who find the official gay male scene here standoffish or in some way unwelcoming.
I do know that people here do tend to self-segregate in a way I don't much like; it was the lack of this sort of thing that endeared Houston to me. I was a member of a coalition that surveyed bar practices and policies in Philadelphia in 1988 to determine the extent of discrimination here; we did find some arbitrariness in things like checking for IDs and enforcing dress codes, but we also found that self-segregation I referred to. Our work became relevant again after the owner of one of the city's more popular gay bars was caught on a videotape referring to some of his customers with the N-word four years ago, and I was called to testify about our work before the Philadelphia Human Relations Commission in the wake of that "smoking gun" incident.
The owner of that bar has since sold it, and another bar one block to its north took over its space. That bar is the only gay bar in Philadelphia that has an explicit "no attitude/everyone is welcome" policy, and it's become one of two local bars where you will find significant Black patronage. It's also the only bar where I've gotten a big wet sloppy kiss from a random woman (who was pretty drunk when she planted it).
The other is our principal sports bar, which used to be part of a chain based in New York called Boxers. That bar had problems with a next-door neighbor from the day it opened, and as a result, a second-floor deck never got built. That bar reopened three months ago with a new name (Jocks) and is now the first and only Black-owned gay bar in the city. I spoke with the owner, who told me that the issues with the neighbor have been ironed out and that he will be adding the deck as originally planned, but I'm guessing he's waiting until the COVID restrictions pass to actually make the move.
The city's biggest and best-known gay bar has turned into a college-town pub on the first floor and a bachelorette party on the second; it also has two smaller club spaces attached that cater to largely straight patrons. I blame the mag I write for partly for this; we ran a cover feature on "nights on the town" about six years or so ago, and our recommended "girls' night out" ended at this bar; "Imagine — all those gorgeous men, and none of them want to sleep with you!" At last year's Outfest, I spotted someone in the crowd wearing a T-shirt bearing the legend "Make Woody's Gay Again."
How would your tier the top 20 US metros in terms of the best cities for gay men in terms of number of gay men and the overall community?
Cities to tier (Top 20 MSAs by population)
NYC
LA
Chicago
Dallas
Houston
DC
Miami
Philly
Atlanta
Phoenix
Boston
SF
Detroit
Seattle
Minneapolis
San Diego
Tampa
Denver
St Louis
Baltimore
The best way to answer this, is really to live in all these metro areas to compare. Since I’m from Boston, I would say without question, the best city/metro area is Boston. Sadly, all the best areas for the gay male community are also typically the most expensive areas to live. Statistically, we don’t make as much as our straight brothers.
I don't perceive Philadelphia as having the sort of A-list obsession (or fashion sense ) of many of the other Tier 1 and Tier 2 cities, but I do know people (my boyfriend being one of those) who find the official gay male scene here standoffish or in some way unwelcoming.
Oh, c’mon, as long as you’re gorgeous, we’ll built, young, masculine, have money, and um, well endowed, gay guys fit right in.
You have to laugh at these statistics on estimated percentage of the gay (male) population. The majority of us do not self-disclose.
On the flip side of that you can say that the better LGBT cities have a higher percentage of self disclosing LGBT.
They might be more comfortable to do so in certain cities.
That's why I think Atlanta is up there.
The metro may have similar numbers of LGBT residents as Houston and Dallas but in Atlanta the LGBT population is more apparent. The percentage reflects that.
Atlanta also is notorious for the DLs so overall, everyone is gay in Atlanta
The city's biggest and best-known gay bar has turned into a college-town pub on the first floor and a bachelorette party on the second; it also has two smaller club spaces attached that cater to largely straight patrons. I blame the mag I write for partly for this; we ran a cover feature on "nights on the town" about six years or so ago, and our recommended "girls' night out" ended at this bar; "Imagine — all those gorgeous men, and none of them want to sleep with you!" At last year's Outfest, I spotted someone in the crowd wearing a T-shirt bearing the legend "Make Woody's Gay Again."
It really was sad to see Woody's go so far downhill in the 9 years I went. I started going for college nights in 2010, and by the time I left Philly in 2019, you avoided Woody's like the plague. It became like a frat bar with way too many douchy, bro types. It was completely unrecognizable from what it used to be.
Even when I went back for OutFest last year, Voyuer on the Friday night was probably about 60-70% straight, where as it used to be 70-80% gay on even a normal night. Straight people really did ruin the vibe of so many great bars in the Gayborhood. It's unfortunate.
Personally, I think the gay community is incredibly unwelcoming, pretentious, stratified and judgmental. The farther away I am from a gay mecca, the better. I'm 36, single, stuck in Jacksonville, and eating pizza and cookies for dinner and IDGAF anymore and it's liberating.
Personally, I think the gay community is incredibly unwelcoming, pretentious, stratified and judgmental. The farther away I am from a gay mecca, the better. I'm 36, eating pizza and cookies for dinner and IDGAF anymore and it's liberating.
I generally agree with your statement. Especially in the big cities. I personally had never experienced racism in the gay community until I lived in Chicago. It was horrible. Very bad and entitled attitude.
I've also lived in Charlotte and currently live in St. Louis. The vibe is so much more inclusive and laid back.
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) of many of the other Tier 1 and Tier 2 cities, but I do know people (my boyfriend being one of those) who find the official gay male scene here standoffish or in some way unwelcoming.
