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You may want to consider the Hampstead area. The South Topsail schools are good, and you can avoid all the districting battles in New Hanover. With the bypass, the commute isn't a problem.
We are looking to move to Wilmington in the next year or so as well. I have been researching both public and private schools. There is a website you can use to get a kind of "snapshot" of each public school's performance. It's: District Search Results Page
There are a few school's of excellence in New Hanover County. These are the ones I've found so far. If you go to the website, click on the school you want to check and click on the report card link. Isaac M Bear High (This is by far the best high school I have found!) Holly Tree Elementary Dr Hubert Eaton Sr Elem
Also, we have looked into the Porter's Neck area and the golf club is an excellent area with gated entrances and security. With your budget, you could easily buy a home in this area. It is in the Laney High district though, which doesn't seem to be a great school.
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